A father's journey into relevance. 21st Century Dad...

I have finally found it after all these years! Ever since I was a kid watching various "invisible man" shows and movies, I now have the secret to becoming totally invisible!

My daughter is in a San Jose Children's Musical Theater Production of "Oklahoma". These productions never involve just the children. The parents put in time to supervise rehearsals, create sets, help with costumes, etc. Last Saturday I drew the short straw, and got to go with my daughter to supervise a 2-hour rehearsal. What were my duties? Something I am very well qualified for: shushing kids. I have a wide range of shushes, from the come on, you know you're supposed to be quiet shush to the make one more sound and you are out of here! shush.

I planned on using mostly the come on, you know you're supposed to be quiet shush because one of the Big Rules at CMT is that kids have to be quiet so that everyone can focus on the director. I figured one little shush would be all that would be required. There was one small group of boys and girls talking right near me, so I tried it. Ssshh.

No response. They kept talking. So I tried a little louder and longer hey, you're breaking the rules shush. Ssssssshhhhhhhh.

Still no response. So then I finally tried the I'm not your father but I'm not afraid to ground you for a month shush. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And that's when I realized it. They couldn't see me! They must have thought that there was just a problem with the heating system making noise. I waved my hands, pointed, even puffed my chest to look more menacing (in a nice parent-supervisor-like manner). No response. I was truly invisible. But just like in the sci-fi shows, it turns out my invisibility had one weakness. Young innocent children could still see me. The youngest child in the group made eye contact with me, and got the others attention. They stopped talking!

Like any other true scientific breakthrough, I needed to repeat my experiment in invisibility. Sure enough, 15 minutes later there was another group of kids. I repeated my range of shushes, and got the same result. No response. This time there were no little kids to help me out. But there was a supervisor mom nearby. She heard the kids and came over and shushed them using the same tone and inflection as my shushes. And they got quiet.

So it could be a power only dads have, and only around kids over the age of 8. I guess I need more data before I can publish my findings...