Amiram Hayardeny's My China Experience

Global Warming - a DIfferent View

It all started with some strange guy who started warning about "global warning" a few years ago.  Many heard the news item and thought - there's another lunatic with a warning.  They all remembered Nostradamus, and his friends in every century, who diligently predicted the end of the world.  Prophecies which were updated as soon as they didn't come true.  Turn of centuries, midnights, full moons, sun storms, comets, all came and went, and the earth people (that's us) remained.  They didn't repent, they didn't pray, they continued to invent new stuff which created more warnings, which never came true, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Then came the warning about the melting of the icebergs.  Some concerns were registered, particularly in the far northern hemisphere, where most residents are Eskimos and seals.  Most of the population just turned to one another and said "oh well", and went on to the local pub for a drink.  Next came a really scary news piece about the rising temperatures, and that apparently the last decade was the hottest on record or something.  Some eyebrows were raised, but most people went on to the beach, were the warm breeze took off the edge of the outstanding heat.  Life went on.

Then WNN aired some really really disturbing footage about the cities along the shores of the oceans, and that in a few years, they will all be covered in seawater.  People in those cities went outside and checked whether their windows and doors will be above the new sea level, and same for their favorite stores, pubs, parks and so on.  They also went ahead and checked that aunt Petunia's home would definitely be covered with water, and so would be the police station.  Once that was out of the way, they went on with their business.  The ones who discovered that their homes will most likely be underwater, took a few sessions with the local psychotherapist, to refresh their denial techniques.  They too went back to the annual barbecue which was producing smoke as much as the local utility's chimney.

Then the media claimed with absolute certainty that the "permafrost in Russia" is melting, and that will let out millions of metric tons of some unknown Methane gas into the atmosphere, doubling the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere in a very short time.  There was some anxiety, but it turned out to be unrelated.  It was about the local football team losing miserably this season.  The people remembered from their biology classes that methane is also produced when sheep in New Zealand fart.  So, they said, what's another real big sheep flatulence?  They went on to walk the dog, who happened to have had chilly for dinner...

Then came the food shortages, which was the result of the droughts, which was a direct result to the warming of the earth, and the lack of rain.  Desertification became a word known by every single third grader.  But that was more because of that show "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" than because of the actual drought.  Some nervous breakdowns were recorded around the world, but WNN aired a piece about desert resorts, and everyone calmed down and booked their vacations early.  Prices skyrocketed.

Nobody got too excited over the "dying of the rain forests".  Many people just said they can do without them, and the rain is really needed elsewhere...

Then the earth was on fire.  Literally.  Wildfires were spotted everywhere, burning everything in their way.  But it was too late already.  The earth burned, then the ice melted, the cities were covered with water, there was no food, water was contaminated, livestock around the world died of plagues, the earth died.  So did we.

I don't know if global warming is real, and if it is how real and how quick it is.  But just in case it is, don't you want to do something about it?

Posted at 09:33PM May 26, 2008 by Amiram Hayardeny in Personal  |  Comments[2]