Dana in Geeksville

Who We Are In Real Life Versus SL

I had an interesting conversation with a tarot reader in Second Life (SL). I had asked him if he found it harder to do readings in SL because there is an avatar between him and is client. He disagreed heartily that there was anything between them. "On the contrary," he said, "avatars tend to be better representations of people than their genetic bodies, as flesh bodies often don't fit 
the person or portray them well. Avatars, on the other hand, are usually expressions of what a person feels represents her or himself well in real life (RL)." Interesting.

A friend of mine felt that this man was confusing role playing with identity. I disagree with both of them.

Our identities, no matter whether in RL or SL, are nothing but ideas and concepts anyway. Problems arise when we identify with and cling to ideas about who and what we are. Whether people realize it or not, our identity is not hard coded, by any means. As human beings, our personalities and tendencies are fluid, changing throughout the day, changing vastly by month, and by heaps through the years.

Avatars in SL can represent what a person would like to be, physically or in behavior, or it may be a role they are playing, or it may be some kind of extension of the ego they are creating at that time. Reasons for choosing a particular avatar vary from person to person. What can we say about someone who chooses an avatar that is a cupcake or a Christmas Ham? What about someone who chooses an avatar this is grossly overweight, or one who is in a wheel chair?

I don't agree that avatars are better representations of who a person is or what they wish they were, nor do I believe all are simply role playing, though both are possibilities in some cases. I have found SL to be a delightfully artistic, creative environment in which people can express themselves in countless numbers of ways, with countless numbers of looks and shapes. It really is a wonderland for the artistic programmer, the artist, and those who enjoy something different that can mirror the real world, or not.

Identity is a problem in RL and in SL. If we identify with a certain image, we cling to that notion, then we are going to create misery for ourselves because everything changes, nothing is consistent. I heard a man recently in SL say, "If I could uninstall my real life, I would. And then I'd spend the rest of my days in SL full-time." Obviously, this man has a lot of sadness in the real world and SL has become a form of escape. Escape gets us into trouble no matter what form it takes because we don't deal with our problem head on. And of course, problems ignored can snowball into truly difficult situations.

So, the bottom line is we need to examine where we get our ideas about our self, what those ideas are, and how many of them are limited or self defeating. In Buddhism we search out the not self, or emptiness, in Hindusim it's the branch of Vadaita that uncovers the delusion of self, and nondualism addresses this topic in a big way.

What is real about ourselves anyway? Am is less real in SL than RL? Most SL citizens would say they are every bit as real as in SL.

If you really look, you'll see that any identity you create for yourself is nothing but an idea. Any self idea is going to be limiting. We need to remain fluid and open, recreating ourselves on a moment by moment basis, and not worrying about how we appear to others, what kind of persona we project. And in SL, we have to be careful that we don't start wanting to become the avatar!

Posted at 11:13AM Jan 02, 2009 by dananourie in Virtual Worlds  |  Comments[1]