FlexRex: Fictional Blogger

The principle for Day #60 on the 101-day book report says: "Special is the work of the ego."

I think the idea here is that we are all equals. Because when we think we're special, we can rationalize doing a whole lot of unpleasant things. At least, I think that what was going through my head at the times I trespassed in my life.

So going forward, I'm going to try and resist the temptation. In such a privileged country as ours, there's really no need to be special anyway. And in my own twisted way, there's nothing else I'd rather be.

The principle for Day #59 on the 101-day book report says: "Failed relationships don't make you a failure."

Sometimes a movie takes you to places that you don't want to go. For me, the hardest ones to watch involve relationships that are falling apart.

And it occurs to me that the story of our lives has lots of cast members. Some stay around for a long time and others just seem to be passing through. But they all have roles to play.

And once you get through it, you notice that no one ever asks you why you got divorced. They all know failure isn't an option.

The principle for Day #58 on the 101-day book report says: "You are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul."

So today I took a walk uptown to see all these souls that are walking around. And I've come up with some observations;

* Traveling souls seem to know where they're going. Alone or in small groups, they're intent, purposeful, and seemingly on their way somewhere even when they sit down to eat.

* Lost souls are hard to find. Instead, they find you. "Excuse me, sir, where's Starbucks?"

* Shopping souls carry around their goods even as they continue to search for more stuff that they "can't take with them" in the end.

* Soul mates can't seem to resist checking out other souls when the other one's not looking.

* Miserable souls can spot each other a mile away. And for some reason I can't figure out, they're either married or just busy remembering what it was like.

The principle for Day #56 on the 101-day book report says: "Slow yourself down with moments of contentment and silence."

There is a beach somewhere in you head, a place where cool breezes blow through the sound of the waves. You don't get to visit as often as you'd like, but when you do, all the chaos and mishaps of your life are rendered powerless.

Did you ever see a kid fall down and then look around to see if anyone was watching? If they don't make contact, they just brush themselves off and go about their play without getting upset. I think we adults can still do that as well.

And in those moments of contentment, even Indiana Jones could shake off the age and the mileage.

Today I interrupt whatever normally goes on here to talk about blogging effectively. And while I may not be really qualified to do so, that hasn't stopped me from writing about living effectively for the last 56 days either.

Let's start by putting this blogging business in perspective with the biggest thing on the Internet--MySpace. And if you haven't browsed around in there, think of it as a place where millions of teenagers get to stick photos and bad poetry all over virtual bathroom-stall web pages. In large, it's hideous, lapdash, and highly effective.

Blogs on the other hand, are where we as adults write about the things that we thought were pretty boring when we were teenagers. So effectiveness then is something that only jumps out when it's totally lacking.

With that, here are the Highly Flexrex Habits of Blogging:

5. Be prolific. Try to blog every day. You'll miss once and a while, so what? But you won't get any better as a writer unless you do it. Tip: If it helps, try and write to an editorial calendar. My 101-day book report experiment is just that, but I don't have to come up with a subject every day and that is a huge timesaver.

4. Stay in genre. The java developers out there may think you're the god of code, but they don't necessarily care that your ran three miles today and got a blister.Tip: Start another blog that centers around your personal life or separate interests. Besides, Flexrex, I have an Overheard in PDX site that gives me my jollies.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Blogs are not the Bible and you are not Marshall McLuhan or a Supreme Court Justice. Tip: Try blogging in an altered state once and a while. Just reading what you typed after you came home from the bars can be illuminating.

2. Read other blogs. Tip: Keep a list of things that really annoy you about what other people blog about and adjust your writings accordingly.

1. Reward yourself. Remember that if you weren't blogging, you'd likely be surfing and would have nothing to show for it the next day. Tip: Find a tavern with Wi-Fi.

The principle for Day #56 on the 101-day book report says: "Live in the present."

I find it hard to live in the present. I can enjoy a moment and just kind of languish in it, sure. But soon I will be dwelling on something I once did or want to do.

I imagine that lower forms of life have no problem with this mode of operation--from amoebas to dogs, they pretty much just react to stimuli. But we, as the self-aware humans, struggle with just... being.

But the interesting thing to me is how easy it is when I'm at rest. In dreams, I can encounter my third grade teacher or my old dog who died 30 years ago and nothing seems odd or out of place. There is just the moment and the experience.

There's an old saying that your dreams are just your mind taking out the trash. And sometimes, as I watch the strangeness of the present unfold, I think maybe it's time to get into recycling.

The principle for Day #55 on the 101-day book report says: "Man was made for joy and woe."

A long time ago, I accepted the idea that you have to take the bad with the good. Like the enjoyable buzz of a few too many beers, the hangover is just as certain.

But on a day like mine when a rock cracks your windshield, your DSL goes out, your engine light comes on, your CFO is talking layoffs, and your voice line suddenly goes to somebody else's machine, you just know something wonderful has to be around the corner.

The principle for Day #54 on the 101-day book report says: "Develop your inner faith."

I'm not going to see The Da Vinci Code and it's not for reasons of faith or anything like that. Even though I found the subject matter fascinating, in the end I just didn't think it was a very good book.

To me, inner faith is like a movie trailer for a story you've never heard, read, or imagined before. You get the briefest glimpse of what it might hold in store and all it's potential is something as primal as a gut reaction. And when it finally comes out, you can join the masses or choose to leave it in your imagination.

As for me, I think I'll just wait for it to come out on DVD.

The principle for Day #53 on the 101-day book report says: "Use all your strength to create solutions."

I took my son and his pug to a UFO parade today. We dressed as Men in Black for a costume contest.

Anyway, this man came up to pet the dog and he had this amazing story to tell:

There were two dogs in the middle of the highway. As the man pulled over and waded through traffic to help, he saw that a dachshund had been hit and was laying on the centerline. A pug was pulling at the dachshund's collar trying to drag the injured animal off the road.

The man managed to stop the traffic and got the dachsund to a vet in time. But he said he would always remember the determination of that little pug.

Some hours later, I'm thinking that solutions don't always come from the strongest or the smartest among us. And too often we forget the ones who die trying.

The principle for Day #52 on the 101-day book report says: "Thinking is evidence of a higher power."

Today I set out to test today's principle by examining what people are thinking about. So I figured the headlines would be a good place to start. And after reading about Guantanamo, the NSA, and Brittany's baby bobbling, I'm thinking that these days, evidence of thought may be even tougher to find.

The principle for Day #51 on the 101-day book report says: "As you think, so shall you be."

I've been reading Carlos Castaneda lately--The Power of Silence and A Separate Reality. In these books, the author learns the way of the warrior through shamistic practices.

Then today, my six-year-old son says to me, "You know why no girlfriends like you right now, Dad?"

"Umm, no." I responded. "Why do you think?"

"Because you're a warrior."

So tonight I'm reading from a slightly different perspective. When thoughts and things are so interconnected, maybe I should switch to Ian Fleming.

The principle for Day #50 on the 101-day book report says: "Anything destructive to one is destructive to all."

Today marks the halfway point on my 101-day blog experiment, and I just wanted to thank you readers for coming along for the ride.

To get on with today's principle, I'm thinking about all the destructive things I've done and what was motivating me at the time. And without exception, none of them seem like good reasons any more.

That's the thing about the needs of the one and the many. However we distort their importance, time renders them all to dust.

The principle for Day #49 on the 101-day book report says: "Catch toxic thoughts as they start."

Some fellow named David O. McKay once said,"Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny." So I decided to take him up on that.

A while back I did two things: I wrote down some goals and started making a conscious effort to stop complaining. And while your results may vary, it seems to me that now I have a lot loss to bitch about.

The principle for Day #48 on the 101-day book report says: "Curb judgmental thoughts."

Saturday night I went and saw this reunion of a band called Mel in Portland. The Ash Street Saloon was rocking with a whole assortment of drunks, punkers, and various characters straight out of Twin Peaks. It was like being home in Wisconsin.

Later on, as I was hanging out in the back of the crowd and enjoying the music, this GQ guy walks up and says to me,
"Dude, this band rocks! Where are the rest of the normal people?"

Somehow, in that judgmental moment, I suddenly found myself segregated from all these misfits having the time of their lives. And when you're on the outside looking in, conformity is the pits.

The principle for Day #47 on the 101-day book report says: "Give more of yourself and ask less in return."

One of the Great Tests of Friendship comes on moving day. In Sun terminology, this is where your Network meets the Participation Age and finds importance in other plans.

So I got the call yesterday from a friend in trouble. Her friends, family, and even movers-for-hire were no-shows.

When I arrived, I got the special duties that come with not having a bad back. And while I feel good to have given more of myself, the universal truth seems to be that it hurts to move today.

The principle for Day #46 on the 101-day book report says: "Keep a journal of the things that annoy you about others. Then review it on occasion and consider how judgmental it is to condem the world for not being the way you want it to be."

I see the point here, but I can just imagine people's reaction to me pulling out a pen and paper whenever i got pissed off:

"Hey, pinhead. What are you writing there--a hit list?"

Having seen this, I would probably still be laughing after I drove into the ditch.

The principle for Day #45 on the 101-day book report says: "Notice the goodness in others, even your adversaries."

I can always count on certain people in my life while others can be downright disagreeable. But somewhere in between is their capacity to change places.

So maybe that's why we're just supposed to notice goodness when it happens--looking for it is just a test for echo.

The principle for Day #44 on the 101-day book report says: "Curb your need to be right."

We all seek validation. We can:

* Right our wrongs.
* Stand up for what's right.
* Fight for what's right.
* Do the right thing.

But when we say we're right, we're only claiming it. And when we really wise up, maybe we'll discover that our enemies already know this about themselves.

The principle for Day #43 on the 101-day book report says: "Spend moments in awe."

I think there is something awe-inspiring about this gorgeous Spring day--warm breezes, blossoms on the trees, and the smell of brats on the grill. Maybe I'm just tuned in because of something I heard the other day.

On NPR Sunday, This American Life did a show about life in prison. Parts of it were really gruesome.

And then this guy came on who was locked up in South Africa for something political. He described how "undead" he and his fellow inmates became as malnutrition dulled even his ability to see colors.

When he got out, everything was fresh and bright and magnificent. But he noticed that the people around him didn't see the colors. They had become zombies to their own self-involvement.

So maybe awe has it roots somewhere deep in our suffering. Like a masterpiece yet to be painted, it's just a reflection of something that's always been there.

The principle for Day #42 on the 101-day book report says: "When you get into a conflict, remove yourself from turmoil for just a moment and think about your higher purpose."

I remember a great revelation I had some years back while I was going through my divorce: I am going to lose every argument I get into from here on out. It didn't matter how valid my case might have been at the time, I was just screwed. And like a lawyer in some kangaroo court, I wised up and stopped objecting.

If you get into it with somebody, be it your boss, your spouse, or your teenager maybe, just excuse yourself for a moment. Go outside and think about how little spilled milk is going to mean when you retire on the golf course some day.

It's ok. Let them land on the deck and declare their empty victory.

The principle for Day #41 on the 101-day book report says: "Be still and know."

Silence is one of the recurring themes in the 101 Ways to Transform Your Life book, and I think there's a reason for that:

In our culture, experiencing silence is really hard. Even at home, it seems like the TV, radio, iPod, and cellphone just want to be turned on. And if we step outside to get away, we don't even seem to notice that coffee shops can be as noisy as a race track.

But silence has rewards--it just takes a conscious effort to make it possible. And today as I flick off everything and just sit in this quiet room, the tapping at the window is just the notion that I'm missing out on something.

The principle for Day #39 on the 101-day book report says: "Practice giving without receiving."

I was trying to think of something I could share with you all (without receiving). So here it is:

Neil Young is streaming his entire new album on his web site. The CD is called Living with War and I can only hope his message of peace reaches you somehow.

The principle for Day #39 on the 101-day book report says: "Find your calling and then use your talents to make it so."

You get your genes and your toolbox from your parents and your upbringing, but I think your calling stems from a completely different source. And if philosophy was my calling, I might even have read a book that explains what that source might be.

But growing up, I always considered myself a writer, even before I had any skills. And when my High School English teacher told me that I'd never be a writer because my penmanship was bad, I realized that a lot of assholes miss their calling, too.

And there's the rub; you don't get to pick what your calling is--you only get to decide whether to face it.

The principle for Day #38 on the 101-day book report says: "Silently recite the word "love" whenever you encounter someone."

I tried today's principle and I couldn't quite pull it off.

So I went out to listen to some jazz and have a couple of beers to see if that would help. It did. In fact, it didn't take too long until it was easy to love everybody.

Then somewhere along the line, I flashed back to a play I was in back in 1972. My hippie third grade teacher showed us a reel of Yellow Submarine and we all thought it was colored with magic. And the best part was singing along to "Love is all you need."

When I snapped out of it, I went home to type this in and I made the mistake of reading my email. The messages were laden with Bcc: politics, fate-tempting bear traps, and self-serving skullduggery.

Maybe love is all you need. When success brings you to a minefield, it's the only thing that won't blow up with you.

The principle for Day #36 on the 101-day book report says: "Stop believing in your shortcomings."

Once upon a time, the great king decreed that everyone should wear t-shirts produced by the royal vendors. All the shirts had strange letters on them, but no one could read what they said. But being loyal subjects, the people wore the shirts anyway and went about their business.

And then one day, a young man happened to look in the mirror while wearing the shirt. It said,
"I'm not tall enough."
"I'm not smart enough."
"I'm not good looking enough."

So he went to the king and complained that these things were all true, but he wished he could wear something else. The king argued that no one else could see the words, but the man persisted.

Reluctantly, the king relented and gave him a new shirt. Then he ran home to put it on.

When he looked in the mirror, it said,
“Our shortcomings are the eyes with which we see the ideal.”

The principle for Day #36 on the 101-day book report says: "You can't have a better past."

They say that hindsight is 20/20, but I think there's really a distortion effect involved. There are times when I can't seem to remember my successes or what they felt like. There are also times when I forget that my Technical Writing professor told me to never start a sentence with "there are."

I sometimes want to be from somewhere else than Milwaukee. Then people wouldn't guess I was from Fargo.

And I really don't think I'm alone in this regard. Maybe we all want the better past that we can't have. But luckily, depending on who we're with, we can just paint it with different colors.

The principle for Day #35 on the 101-day book report says: "Tell your loved ones that you love them."

A little girl became very enamored with my son today at the park. They played on the swings and ran around for an hour so and then it was time to say goodbye. She climbed out of her car twice to give him a hug, so I asked him what her name was.

"Oh, I love him, but I haven't told him my name." she said.

As for us adults, I guess the flip side is that it's hard to say you love someone. And, like it goes in that Del Amitri song, it's hard to say you don't.