FlexRex: Fictional Blogger

The principle for Day #86 on the 101-day book report says: "Keep your attention on your spirit."

Tomorrow I will say goodbye to this lovely place of Dresden. The week drew so many good friends together, both old and new.

Like all good journeys, I know this trip will shrink from memory. And the spirit goes on in the lives that touch.

It doesn't require evidence, but I've already seen photos that I don't recall being in.

The principle for Day #85 on the 101-day book report says: "Turn to a higher power for guidance."

You know, sometimes it feels like someone is meddling with my day. It's almost as if I was living a script and I can feel the spots where they scatched something out so they could pencil in a better idea.

And the key for me seems to be to embrace it as it happens and just see how it plays out, leaving expectations behind. Because in this movie, you can oversleep and expect your day to spiral into chaos. But just like that, you meet someone wonderful who must have weaved the same karma.

The principle for Day #84 on the 101-day book report says: "Avoid dictating to young people."

One of the cool things about my job at Sun is that I get to do tradeshows sometimes. This week finds me in Dresden at this little Euro supercomputing show.

So today a young lady asked me my job. I said I get to meet beautiful women from all over the world as I carry the torch for Sun in the Participation Age. It didn't start out as a line, but when you work in a robe there's just so much more you can get away with.

The principle for Day #83 on the 101-day book report says: "Love is the least threatening experience there is."

On the flight over to Germany they played back-to-back chick movies. Of note was this scene towards the end of Failure to Launch where they tie up and gag Matthew McConaughey so that he'll shut up and fall in love with Sarah Jessica Parker.

And I'm thinking that romantic love tends to do something similar to immobilize and silence our sensibilities. Maybe it doesn't seem threatening at the time, but don't let that fool you. If you follow the bread crumbs, enamored footprints lead the way to every disaster.

The principle for Day #82 on the 101-day book report says: "Practice generosity."

Foreign lands often mean strange food. In Germany, I couldn't find anything to eat besides brats and hamhocks for the past 24 hours. Vegetarians would have a really tough time here subsisting on sauerkraut.

The other thing I've noticed is that local people here don't seem happy. The soccer party I attended was library quiet and they watched the World Cup with all the jolliness of lions watching a herd of elk.

As for generosity, I just wanted to share one thing and do a Homer Simpson, who banged on his TV while yelling at it to be funnier.

"Come on, you guys, your team is winning. Be happier!"

The principle for Day #81 on the 101-day book report says: "Resist the need to be boastful."

I'm in this far away place called Dresden that I only knew about from reading Slaughterhouse Five as a kid. The city beautiful in it's quaint old-world kind of way, but riding into town I felt like I saw a ghost.

A huge brick building was being demolished on the corner. The smoke and dust of the final story was curling into the sky as a fire truck hosed it down.

The fire-bombing of Dresden is an unmentioned thing here. And the old cathedrals and government buildings seem a testament to what survived history.

It may not be boastful, but the allies of today are tourists to what they once burned to the ground.

The principle for Day #80 on the 101-day book report says: "Everything you are for empowers you."

RIF-wise, I learned today that the FlexRex stone will keep rolling here at Sun for a while. I must be still processing because I leave for Germany tomorrow and I haven't even packed.

There were hugs, there were tears, and there were goodbyes. Strung between were themes of freedom and powerlessness that came forth like waves with every piece of news.

And in our struggles to rationalize and characterize was this awful thing called forced change. It stripped away the comfort of the familiar as it carelessly smeared away our whiteboard futures.

But if we get behind this change, maybe somehow it will empower us. I'm not sure I'm ready to go that far, but come to think of it, the rain never asks my permission.

The principle for Day #79 on the 101-day book report says: "Comparison is not success."

We all get to define our own success. And if our lives were like a publicly held company, we'd have to do it quarterly.

So imagine that your analyst keeps calling on you to lose 25 percent of your mass. You blow him off as long as you can, citing various statistics that show that such cuts are not necessary. But one day, you realize you can't go on without liposuction.

Luckily, there are ways around this. And when Wall Street wakes up, they'll realize that the best way to look thin is to hang out with fat people.

The principle for Day #78 on the 101-day book report says: "To serve mankind is the highest good."

I think my favorite Twilight Zone was the one where a race of aliens known as the Kanamits land on Earth and promise "To Serve Man."

Now, I know you won't believe me, but I think this story is coming true.

Today I heard that Wendy's hamburger chain is replacing it's "Biggie" drink sizes with a "Large" bucket of 42 ounces. America will soon be slurping gallons of Dr. Pepper's corn syrup.

We're being fattened up, I tell you. Lord only knows what horrors Pizza Hut will roll out in response.

And when the aliens take over, we'll be too fat to fight. Don't say I didn't warn you; "To Serve Man" is a cookbook!

The principle for Day #76 on the 101-day book report says: "When listening, put the 'I' away."

When someone is telling me their troubles, I often want to relate my own experience. "Oh yeah, I know what you mean. One time I had a bad day too, let me tell you."

But when I really want to be helpful, I try to resist this temptation and give them the you the response that they need for a while. "You sound very upset about this. How does this change this make you feel?"

Maybe this is just being a good friend. It takes some effort, but the way I got it figured, when was the last time I had anything meaningful to say about someone else's life anyway?

The principle for Day #76 on the 101-day book report says: "You are here to love and be loved."

You know, there are times when you just don't "feel the love" as they say. And somehow, in sync, merchants overcharge, dogs growl, and road ragers flip you off.

But if you can get to that next intersection and just wave somebody through, the curse is broken. And for some reason I can't explain, even the force field around Starbucks this week couldn't resist the Karma that turned into my free cup of coffee.

At times like this, I have to wonder. Has the world changed around me in some kind of quantum blink of an eye, or is it just that my thermometer is broken?

The principle for Day #75 on the 101-day book report says: "I am not what bothers me."

It has been a long week and work crept into my vacation. It's made for some late nights as the home fires kept burning.

So if I am not what bothers me, it seems to follow that I am not what I have left undone. And like a double negative, the resulting ambiguity is the real curse of leisure.

The principle for Day #74 on the 101-day book report says: "You are not what you do."

I used to tell people that I do marketing. Most would just kind of blink and try to figure out what that meant without wanting to ask.

So now I just tell people I'm a promotional rebel. And if you want to know what I'm rebelling against, just ask the competition what they've got.

The principle for Day #73 on the 101-day book report says: "Your life is evidence of the divine within you."

The other day, an old friend reminded me how often good fortune falls in my lap. It's not like I haven't noticed it before, but it usually seems to cycle in after bouts of bad judgment.

So that's why I really don't need to accept this notion of divinity within me. The truly fortunate just see it in others.

The principle for Day #72 on the 101-day book report says: "Appreciate the beauty around you."

Vacation days are like our canoe, I'm thinking. This whisper of a lake serves stark contrast to the stormy waters back home. There's a wild turkey on the shore, but the boy pays no mind as he peers over the side, his net at the ready as his pollywogs await the more.

Forward and peaceful in it's progress, this is one long and narrow boat. But still I'm wired to events ahead, typing up some semblance of order for a customer show half a world away.

It's a shame I couldn't really leave the world behind, but when I do hit the shore, I think I'll take this moment with me.

The principle for Day #71 on the 101-day book report says: "Release fear of disapproval and get on with your purpose."

I'm returning to my roots in Wisconsin this week. And having grown up there, it's kind of like visiting the cheesy haunted house that once filled me with fear of disapproval.

Do you remember how important it was to be accepted back in high school? And now that you've matured and are comfortable in your own skin, can you remember the last time you even cared if you were accepted by anything?

These are questions I'm pondering now as I wait for news of the RIF that Sun is planning. My ego is braced for the ultimate disapproval, but one thing is sure--this summer I'll either be celebrating Independence Day or Passover.

The principle for Day #70 on the 101-day book report says: "Beliefs restrict you. Knowings empower you."

Today's principle comes back to the idea that beliefs come from outside of you. No matter how nice these beliefs are or how rooted they are in your cultural background, somebody handed them to you like a stick of gum.

Because knowings come from inside of you, they are a tougher animal to corral. And I think that the old saying "What do we know anyway?" brings home the point:

By definition, I can't know what you know--the best I can do is turn your knowings into beliefs. At worst, I can look around at this unfathomable world and admit I don't know shit.

The principle for Day #68 on the 101-day book report says: "Don't do your best--just do."

I'm going to go against my initial gut reaction to today's principle and turn it into practice. And the reason why has to do with hindsight.

I've always liked the doing mode much more than the talking about doing something mode, which makes meetings rather painful for me sometimes. Flex officing has greatly helped me in this regard, as it enables me to read, write, and even rip CDs while I listen to people talk about doing things.

So to get back to the matter at hand, I think I've just had a big revelation--the only time I claim to have done my best is when I've failed.

The principle for Day #68 on the 101-day book report says: "Everyone that comes into your life is valuable."

Conflict is at the heart of any good story. It keeps you flipping the pages.

I think that's why antagonists, bad guys, and petty tyrants all have roles to play in the comic book of our lives. They make us miserable. They make us suffer. But without them, even a superhero soon discovers that he's his own worst enemy.

The principle for Day #67 on the 101-day book report says: "Replace negative thoughts."

I've got some things at home and work that aren't going so well at the moment. All together they probably don't add up to a hill of beans in this world, but collectively I swear they've driven me to start betting on black.

At the same time, misfortune seems to be busy elsewhere as well. Someone I know even moved to Texas to work for Dell it was so bad. It's almost like chaos is hell-bent on seeking out and destroying order. Maybe it hired Joel Schumacher to direct or something.

So it's high time for a vacation, I figure. I'm taking the boy to Wisconsin where no one breathes a discouraging word, at least until Packer season starts. And maybe that way, negative thoughts will give way to something wiser that never, ever bought into that bag of goods we called job security.

The principle for Day #66 on the 101-day book report says: "Success is an inside job."

While it kind of spooks me that my entry #66 in this series comes on 6/6/06, I think I'll just file it under "way too weird."

Success makes me uncomfortable and I don't really know why. Maybe I've got a distorted view of what success really is. So let's take a look at what it is not:

* Success is not what is parked in your neighbors driveway.
* Success is not Star Wars episodes I, II, and III, even if they made a billion dollars.
* Success is not a having a drunken crowd chant "trophy wife!" when you walk by with your spouse.
* Success is not a workforce reduction.
* Success is not getting what you want.

I'm sure you could all think of another one, but the number of this beast is best left at five.

The principle for Day #65 on the 101-day book report says: "Tune within."

I can't really decipher what my inner voice is trying to tell me. First, I had this dream that I was back in high school and I forgot my locker combination. And for some reason it was a big deal.

Then I rolled over and spent the next dream trying to get my old girlfriend back. Except she first needed to hear some magic word that I didn't know.

So then I woke up and couldn't find my keys to get to work. And it really freaked me out until I figured out it was just another dream because I work at home.

And when I went for a walk today to sort things out, a white rabbit went by in a silver Mercedes convertible. I'm sure it's easily explained, but now I've got this sinking feeling that just maybe I've been awake the whole time.

The principle for Day #64 on the 101-day book report says: "Trust your intuition."

I kind of like to take my day where intuition takes me. And if you ask me why that is, it probably has to do with the reasons I totally disdain planning:

* Plans are only as good as the assumptions they're based on.
* Most assumptions are crap that's pulled out of the air.
* Ignored variables have a nasty habit of becoming exponent.

Despite this, we corporate monks spend lots of time planning because we know that's what our bosses like to see. But when circumstances call for action that lies outside of the plan, all kinds of stress ensues.

So my gut feeling tells me to have a Jerry Mcguire moment--unite my life plan of following my intuition with my go-to-market plans. And if I phrase it just right, they won't even know the difference until I jump up and down on the couch.

The principle for Day #63 on the 101-day book report says: "Take full responsibility for all the events in your life."

When it comes trouble, I think most adults can deal with the idea that we reap what we sow. It takes longer for some, and all the while nature keeps weeding out the stupid.

But me, I really have trouble taking responsibility for all the good events in my life. Surely the weight of my goodness does not render me worthy of all this abundance.

So I try to keep my good fortune in mind on the days when karma traffic tickets rain from the sky. And when one leaves you standing, remember that you can get three of them in one night and still have good time.

The principle for Day #62 on the 101-day book report says: "Simplify your life."

Models help us understand our world. So I've designed a model to help me noodle out the upheaval going on at Sun right now.

When you're in a big company, it's like being part of a train. You carry different kinds of loads or get hooked to new lead cars on occasion, but mostly you just keep moving forward at the same speed as everybody else.

So after a while, the train becomes part of your identity. You carry your weight and you like to think that the train needs you.

But when the train can't seem to get anywhere, they unhook a bunch of cars and leave them with the hope that they'll find a new train. Trouble is, a lot of engines get cut loose by mistake.

So today I'm looking up the tracks and I swear they look familiar. And whatever comes round the bend, chances are it too thrives on oversimplification.

The principle for Day #61 on the 101-day book report says: "Make love the focus of your life."

When did love turn into a term to be avoided? Someone told me yesterday that she and her new boyfriend made a pact to never use that word. I don't know about you, but the alternative verbiage is just laughably hard for me to imagine coming out of a guy's mouth.

So then I started wondering if this neo-Oprah notion of romantic love is somehow going to spill over in terms of having compassion for our fellow human beings. And if we can't just teach our kids something as simple as love thy neighbor, what will be left but Duck and Cover?