6 YEARS AGO: This picture takes me back in time....we had some kind of "dress up day" at work (Emma was my accessory).  It was taken just days before I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer - which happens to have been 6 years ago today.

It's funny, even though the experience changed me so much inside, heart and soul, so much for the better, I don't look so changed on the outside...just a bit older. Oh, and I have hair again  

Please, no congratulations, just take time to reflect on how blessed we are to have this life before us...embrace it!!! Chase it, love it even on days that are challenging and frustrating.    

Please do me a favor,  if you aren't current, call today for your annual mammogram or PSA test.  There is  no time like the present to be aggressive protecting your health and life.  The only thing worse than finding out you have cancer is NOT  knowing you have it...

 

Hmmm.  Very interesting question.

Last night as I was settling myself in for the long flight from Denver to London, something was amiss.  I got to my seat, found the expected complimentary pillow waiting for me in 22A.  I stow my luggage, and start eye balling the overhead bins looking for a blanket.  After all, it's a long flight, and a blanket feels almost like a necessity.

As we are going through all the preflight preparation, the pilot announces that due to the Swine Flu (or whatever jumble of letters and numbers we are now supposed to call it), United has taken extra precautions to protect our health and removed the blankets.  Really, removed the blankets?  

Now, I know I am not an infectious disease doctor, but something is just not playing out for me.  Blankets, which are customarily used to drape over your lap, and yes, maybe on occasion tuck under your chin....these are removed.  But pillows, by the nature of their design, are most often used to support our head and neck are still available?  Last I checked, my mouth, which if I was infected with the flu, is the part of my body which would sneeze, thereby spewing flu germs over things right near my head ....duh, like the pillow!  

Now, maybe there is some totally rational explanation....it's just not clear to me....or maybe this is just what flying is about these days?  I feel as about "protected" by having the blankets removed as I do with taking my shoes off at security, and segregating all my liquids into a quart zip lock baggie.  Go figure.  

Anyway, off to see the Queen tomorrow!   

 

In October an amazing lady I was lucky enough to call my friend died.  Toni Rittmaster's life was very full, but her time on earth was far too short.  I met her the first time at Mountain House when I was hosting a Rocky Mountain Team Survivor hike.  This vibrant lady was in the midst of chemo but was still up enjoying nature.  

Toni had a huge personality.  She was "brave" enough to organize a trip for 13 of us to Africa.  (How she did this I have NO idea!!).  A couple of years back she had a serious recurrence with cancer, and was expected to die.  Toni, being Toni, decided that she just wasn't ready and was declared disease free, much to the shock of her doctors after a very risky surgery.  

All was well until early September.  Toni and I had lunch, she then went off to a dance workshop with her daughter-in-law, followed by a follow up at a big NY hospital.   The cancer was back, and it was everywhere.  6 weeks after lunch with my friend I had the honor of visiting her in Hospice.  Toni, Bev and I talked about Africa, and we watched her enjoy some chocolate ice cream. We held hands and just enjoyed being together. Less than 24 hours later she was gone.  

Last Friday was Toni's birthday.  Her loving husband invited a group of us to their home for a get together, in honor of Toni's life and birthday.  It was a very touching gathering.  By some force we all ended up in a circle, toasting Toni, and sharing stories.  Eliza, her very old dog, spent time in the middle of the circle.   We all knew for certain that Toni was with us.   

I haven't blogged about this because I really didn't think my words would do justice in honoring her spirit.  Today I received a "recipe" written by Bev which I think hit the nail on the head..... Toni, you are much loved and missed.  (Make sure and see a picture of Toni in Africa - it's her, full of life, as I will remember her.)

Recipe for Remembering Toni

Start with one awesome woman

Add 2 cups of her strength and courage

½ cup each of her flair and vitality

¼ cup of her humor and

Stir vigorously

In a separate bowl combine I cup each

Of her zing and zest and beat until soft

Sift in enough of her generosity and

Thoughtfulness to make 1 cup

With an electric mixer beat until soft peaks form

Whisk together 1 doting husband

1 little dog named eliza and

a generous helping of friends with numerous fond memories

Mix altogether,  add more wine and champagne if necessary

pour into a life size pan and bake on high for 2 ½ hours

from 5 – 7:30 p m  preferably on jan 16^th

let cool  before removing  from pan

drain off any remaining tears and cut into friendship size pieces 

garnish with lots of love and laughter and serve immediately

this recipe will last indefinitely if left uncovered

and nibbled on at regular intervals throughout the year

***Recipe written by Bev Melius*** 

 

What a great day for good news!  I just got a text from my friend Dennis, who you might remember from previous cancer posts.  He has metastatic prostate cancer, and you wouldn't guess by looking at him, especially when he's out for a spin on his Harley....I know he has really tough days, and was recently hospitalized for an infection, but all in all he is doing really good.

Here's the exciting part, especially following my post from earlier today - Dennis just had scans and things are looking really good!  WOOO HOOOOOO!  Big time happy dance.  I can't help but thanking God again for all this!  

Dang, I'm going to sleep really well tonight.  Just so happy for both my friends, knowing that chemo works, and it's working for alot of people, not just these two beautiful people !!!  Yup, happy happy happy.

I am just jumping for joy in my chair...(yes, I know, I am quite talented!)  A cancer friend of mine has been undergoing chemo for stage !V breast cancer.  In the fall things took a turn for the worse, the cancer spots had shown up in her liver, as opposed to just her bones. 

She started aggressive chemo.  It's really taking a toll....she has no hair anymore but is sporting a really cool and sassy wig.  She is really fatigued, but somehow she still looks marvelous. Mabye because her shining spirit overshadows everything else?

So, why am I jumping up and down with joy?  Well, the chemo that is kicking her butt is killing the cancer in her liver.  Yes, yes, yes!!! Her most recent scan showed ZERO evidence of any cancer in her liver.  Gone, evacuated, it's left the body.  This makes me just want to yell at the top of my lungs  "Praise God!!!". 

This news has just made my day.  I can't imagine what it did to her 's. 

Ok, one more time, all at once "Praise God!!!"

Last night I stopped by a friends house for a small informal meditation.  The ladies in attendance are friends I've met through the cancer experience. 

As sometimes happens at the end of a busy day we might find ourselves wrapped up in our own little world of relatively insignificant issues.  Then, you get slapped across the face.  One lady uttered these grateful words: "I don't have any new brain mets".  She had just got the news from a recent scan.  (Brain Mets = cancer that has metastasized - 'making tumors, spreading' - in the brain due to cancer in another part of the body).

Ok, let's all just think about it.......what is making us have angst right now and not live our life as fully as we are capable?  Is the house a mess?  Is your job stressful?  Are bills piling up?  Did someone cut you off in traffic?  Did you argue with a loved one about whose turn it is to do the dishes? What about that extra 5lbs?  Did very many of us get up this morning and say, phew, at least I don't have any new brain mets?  (I know some people face this, and the equivalent of such things every day....but most of us are BLESSED with nothing like this in our life....).

This post wasn't meant to be a downer, but just a reminder to please pause and reflect on all you do have....and to not sweat the small stuff. 

Here's the good news - it's almost ALL small stuff!   ((( ))) <-----virtual hug to you all! 

Note:  In spite of Thin Guy's request to post photos of the breast reconstruction (for purely scientific purposes) I'm choosing to continue to discuss the 'project' with out providing picture back up. (ha!)

So here's the tattoo update after a week:  WOW !  

I was warned that the first few days the tattoos would be fire engine red, which they were, and then in about a week the irritation and little bits of scab would fall off and the color would be just about perfect.....which has happened. 

It really is hard to explain how amazing this process is, and how natural and real the accessories look with out pictures, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.

I can't wait to go the gym and change my clothes with out hiding in the corner !!!

22 months since my first surgery....countless appointments for follow up, fills, reworks, crafting and scheduling.....came pretty much to a close yesterday with the completion of the last step of my breast reconstruction....the tattoos. 

Somehow this time just flew, and in other ways I feel like I've been in the middle of this for forever....needless to say I AM THRILLED, just THRILLED to be at this point. 

The procedure yesterday didn't take any more than an hour and a half.  More time that not was spent mixing the just right color, looking at my skin tone, reviewing old "before" pictures (those will have to be burned...) and making marks on me with a pen.  Oh, and the numbing shots....which were really the most uncomfortable part, but not all that uncomfortable. 

A day later the only problems I am having is with the band-aids....that old tape problem again.  I just decided the new art work can go commando, so off with the covers.  The redness and welts caused by the adhesive are far more bothersome.  I may have to go back in for some touch ups - I'll know more in 6 weeks - but for now I'm calling this DONE!

And, no regrets, nada, zilch, zero, ixs-nay, etc..... 

....and I am so ready to be done with this chapter of my life!

I met with Dr. McIronman yesterday to see if the headlights were ready for the final touches....which is tattoos to provide that "just like real" look for the reconstructed breasts.  While I'm not looking forward to getting inked (I think this is the right slang) I am really ready to only see McIronman at triathlon training events.  

I did check with him on how his most recent IronMan event in France was.....he said with surprise in his voice "it was hard".  It was hard?  Hello?  It was an IRON MAN!!!!  Anyway, he's a great guy and I'll see him in the water at the Rez tonight.

Then Monday morning I'll drop by his office for the finishing touches.   Ouch. 

I met my friend Dennis for lunch today.  You might rememver from a previous post that Dennis is battling metastatic prostate cancer.  He is between chemo treatments. 

We were supposed to meet at 11.45.  I got there a bit early and got us a table.  I sipped my water and waited.....and then I waited some more.  I started to get concerned....after all Dennis had chemo last week and might not be well.  I called, got voice mail.  I worried some more.

I pondered my options.  How long do I wait?  Do I go to his house?  And then a Harley pulled in the lot.

I realized I was worrying about my friend who just pulled up the restaurant on his Harley.  Big, blue, with lots of chrome. 

All I can say is the face of cancer sure doesn't look like you think it might......

Today I met my buddy Dennis (not his real name) for lunch.  Dennis and I have worked together for years, our offices near each other when I worked on campus.  No doubt, he is one of the good guys. 

Dennis faced cancer almost 10 years ago, and now he is facing a battle with metastatic prostate cancer.  This means that the previously localized cancer has metastasized to other areas of his body, and is considered incurable by most doctors, but possibly manageable.  He is undergoing chemo treatments every three weeks, and the good news is that while chemo is nasty stuff, it is doing it's magic in Dennis' body, reducing the cancer.  A miracle is likely what is needed to eliminate the cancer....and since I believe miracles do happen Dennis has a shot of being cancer free someday. 

I am truly honored at the conversations we had and what Dennis shared...we talked about things that I've never discussed with anyone.  He broached subjects most of us would consider either taboo or theoretical. 

We talked about his desire to know how long he has left, but his fear of asking this directly to the doctors.  Maybe a year he thinks, which would make him happy.  We weighed the pros and cons of asking.  Ultimately deciding that what's the point of asking, the doctors really don't know. 

We talked about the side effects of Taxotere, a chemo drug we've both enjoyed.  Fatigue, bone pain, crankiness. 

We also talked about getting out for a bike ride next week.  Getting his house ready for sale.  We talked about changes in my life.  We laughed and laughed...Dennis so hard he spit out the tea he was attempting to drink. 

I told him he looked great, no one would ever guess he is 5 chemo treatments into a battle.  I wasn't lying...I actually think he looks better now than he did years ago, and he's always been a nice looking guy.

It's odd that metastatic disease can look so normal on the outside and be so destructive on the inside.  If you pray, please keep Dennis in your prayers.  I'd love nothing more than to blog about a miracle..... 

When I learned I had cancer I stopped living in the future or past.  My full attention was riveted on the "now".  I remember talking to ladies who were many years out, thinking I cannot even wonder about tomorrow or next week, let alone 5 years.  But with all the thanks I can offer, here I am, alive, well, healthy and kicking.  

For me, and for many of my cancer friends, this anniversary doesn't cause us to want to celebrate with a big party or woo-hoo's or high fives.  I want to enjoy each moment of my day today being fully present, and and just thankful.  I want to reflect on all the positive ways cancer has changed my life, and set aside the losses and not dwell on those.  

I think I'll go run 5 miles now, a mile for every year passed from "C" day.....to honor of all those who were by my side through out this 5 year journey.....to remember all those who did not get to have a 5 year anniversary from cancer.  God bless you. 

....so to speak. 

Since I decided the accessories are on there own, each girl for herself, I've been feeling much better.  It took a while, but it's working out just fine. The swelling from lymphodema in my back is almost all gone, and while I'm still "marked" from the tape, it is slowly healing. 

Apparently the installation of nipples was more robust than I was led to believe, at least in my case.  I've been reasonably careful (for me), but all the safety equipment was ditched two weeks ago, and no crisis. 

Tomorrow is our end of the year Eldora Special Recreation Volunteer Appreciation Party.  Good food, good friends, and likely some great skiing.  I'll continue to be "reasonably" careful....but the bumps might be calling my name, and I might need to answer.....

As I stated yesterday I would feel either good or bad following my PT appointment for the lyphedema swelling in my back....and I was right.   (How's that for brilliant??)

The work Kristie at Pinnacle did was great and worked.  Which is why everything hurt last night and today.  No, this was not some kind of deep tissue massage, but the softest, most gentle massage, barely moving the skin to encourage the fluid to move on out and leave my body.   From experience I know this will pass and I will feel better, it's just a process. 

I'm doing lots of easy stretches and little massages to the areas I can reach.  Chugging water and cranberry juice.  And just being thankful for all of you, my family, my friends, my doggies and all the love and caring I have in my life.  Grace and Peace....

First, thanks to everyone for all the suggestions on the challenges I was having protecting the reconstructed nipples.  I was facing a double whammy - first was the problem with tape irritating my skin.  The second, which I hadn't blogged about, was lymphedema symptoms in my back and shoulder area. 

At the time of the original cancer diagnosis I had most of the lymph nodes under my left arm removed.  Our lymphatic system is a silent hero in our body, a passive process which removes toxins,  This system is somewhat mysterious...some people do just great with lymph nodes removed, others face debilitating swelling, and some, like me, face intermittent issues which flare up from time to time.

My issues don't seem to be typical.  I fortunately do not get swelling in my arm  like many women, but if I wear a bra, or any type of remotely tight/elasticy garment around my mid section I get swelling...in my shoulder blade area. 

My solution to combat the tape irritations was to alternate between wearing a bra to hold the protective pads in place.....which worked ok for a couple of days, as long as I kept an eye on things.  However, as the last two weeks progressed the build up of fluid became more severe.  Painful.  Nauseating.  I tried wearing snug tank tops or jog tops as an alternative, but they wouldn't hold the pads in place. 

So, Friday afternoon I decided enough was enough.  The new accessories are on their own. No more tape, no more bras.   I'm being careful, if you don't count skiing both Saturday and Sunday (hey, i didn't do bumps!), and my body is feeling sooooo much better.  Wow. 

I do have a PT appointment this afternoon with a wonderful gifted therapist who is an expert in breast reconstruction recovery, and a lymphedema expert.  She'll do some gentle massage to encourage the fluid to move.  That will either feel good or bad, but for sure in the long run it will be better! 

Or, more specifically, my skin is.  As a result of the nipple installation I need to attached protective devices to the area, and my skin does not respond well to tape.  Medical tape is making me cranky.  

I've tried three different types of tape - paper, cloth and the regular first aid variety.  I continue to move the tape around so it isn't always in the same area.  Regardless, I have broken skin and welts everywhere tape has been stuck. 

Bottom line is I'm finding this part of reconstruction process really tough.  Who would have thought?  How is this more challenging than a mastectomy/reconstruction surgery?  Maybe it has to do with expectations....I was prepared for that to be a big deal, and it really turned out not to be anywhere as bad as I expected...and in this case I wasn't prepared at all for the tape issues around nipple recovery. 

I didn't write this post to complain and elicit sympathy (however feel free if you are so inclined), but to ask all my blog-o-sphere readers if anyone has any suggestion?  I can't possibly be the only person in the entire world who has faced this!!  Any and all help welcomed....

My blogging friend Christin is having a really tough go of it, and I sit here and shake my head. Her hubby David, 32, underwent a really complicated surgery to remove cancer from his abdomen area. One challenge he faced is that the kind of cancer isn't 'garden variety', but very rare. Not that we all aren't unique, but his case is extremely unique.

Bottom line is that he is still sedated due to blood loss and in ICU. The tumor was larger and more ugly than anticipated, even after extensive chemo, and that he is facing life with two bags, one each for #1 and #2. He will need to have even more chemo when he recovers from the surgery.

Christin is facing a very dark time right now, which I totally get. What is hard to get is how this stuff happens to people. Today, when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or you get frustrated at work, or you dog makes a mess on the carpet, or your spouse annoys you, thank God that this is the worst thing you are facing today.

And, please keep Christin and David in your thoughts and prayers.

This is by far one of the oddest experiences of the entire breast reconstruction process - nipple installation. 

Previously I had been told this part of the process primarily included gathering some skin and stitching to create a nipple....a laid back office procedure. 

In reality the process included scalpels, blood, the Bee-Gee's, and nursing pads.

It all started with Dr. McIronman using his very favorite purple making pen to outline the areas requiring attention this afternoon.  When he was done it looked like he had drawn eyes where the nipples will be...big cartoon disney shaped eyes, minus the lashes.  Next he proceeded to numb the area with a REALLY BIG NEEDLE. 

Then on to the room where I thought there would be some gathering and stitching....

Where in reality there was cutting.  And blood.  Dr. McIronman cut around most of the "disney shaped eye's" he drew on my new perfect breasts.  He left a tiny bit attached....and from that flap of released skin he crafted, through a series of stitches, a nipple.  And, no people, not your average nipple.  Something more like what you might see in an x-rated cartoon.   (Over time, and hopefully quickly, these will recede to more traditional sized attachments).

All while jamming to the Bee Gees....and other late 70's dance music coming through the sound system. 

Did I mention I was stone cold sober, minus a very tiny valium like pill???

The final oddity is the need to use nursing pads to protect the x-rated nipples.  Yup, ironic.  Finally, I'm buying nursing pads, but no baby.  No "real breasts".  But, porno nipples!

I'm really ok with this, it cracks me up.  I can't stop grinning when I think of all the irony and twists of fate.   Really, we do NOT control our futures, we only can manage the cards we are dealt.  We can do it with humor, love, sharing, and a glass of wine.    Or we can climb in bed and pull the covers over our heads, which would be a total waste of our most precious lives. 

More later, I'm off to bed, but not to pull the covers over my head and hide.  I'm being filmed for the Today Show tomorrow.  (And, now, it's not because of my porno nipples!)  I'll keep you all posted on that, but let's say the story includes skiing.  Yeah Ha!!! 

Woo Hoo! Breast Reconstruction continues, and I am getting to the final stretch. On Friday I'll have nipples "installed" (or more accurately "created"). This is an office procedure, so no nasty anesthesia for me. I'll be restricted from running or swimming for a bit, but I'll be allowed to ski, which is a very good thing, as I'm an addict. Apparently this is procedure is the part of reconstruction most likely to fail. Dr. McIronman essentially creates a nipple by puckering and stitching skin together, trying to create scar tissue that won't be absorbed by our bodies, as this is what our bodies like to do with scar tissue. So, just one more stage in this adventure.....my goal is to have the reconstruction complete in conjunction with my 5 year anniversary of breast cancer diagnosis, which is in early May, just a few months away. I'm sure you'll all here more on this topic....

I had my post-op visit with Dr. McIronman (aka Dr. Hartley) today and he gave me the thumbs up to start working my endorphines again, pending I avoid high impact sports, ala running.  The good news is I can ski the cruiser runs....bad news is I'm gonna be stuck on some machine in a gym, my least favorite form of working out.  But at least I'll be moving my body and sweating. 

I wonder how long it will take me to get back up to 10 miles running again after a month long hiatus?  Oh well, easy come (hahaha), easy go.

As I've been recovering from the surgery on Monday I've been resting.  Part of my recovery program includes icing the surgical areas to reduce swelling....which means sitting around.....which led me to watch daytime TV...which helped me to fully understand how totally brain numbing TV is....which is why this blog posting won't have any more content that what I just wrote...Duh. 

At least I'm feeling pretty good....

 

Things usually never turn out as difficult as your mind might make them, and the surgery I had today was not an exception (Thank God!). 

All went well.  I'm resting great, with only a bit of "minor discomfort" which is to be expected.  The anesthesiologist did a great job and I'm feeling far less stoned that the last surgery in June.   I'll take it easy this week, work from home, and get lots of rest. 

Life is good...!

It's been 6 months since I had the swap surgery to remove the very uncomfortable yet functional tissue expanders under my pec muscles and replace them with silicon implants. I recovered quickly from this surgery, in spite of an anesthetic hangover that lasted 5 days.

As the swelling decreased and my body settled into it's new shape my left breast just didn't look right.  Now, under high necked clothes everything looks great, but put on a swim suit or lower cut top and things look unnatural....now, you might be thinking, hello MountainGirl - it's silicon, how natural can that look?  We'll, let me tell you, darn natural.  My right breast is truly a a work of art and gorgeous. (Dad, I'm sorry, I'm sure you are blushing as you read this, so please sign off if need be....)  Dr. Hartley (aka Dr. McIronMan) is gifted, that is for sure.  

Over the last couple of months I went back in forth in my head about whether to leave it as is, or have it fixed.  One day I just looked in the mirror and decided if I've done all this work to avoid a new primary breast cancer and to be reconstructed, I might as well get things how I like them.

On Monday I go in for a procedure that will first remove some scar tissue bands that are unsightly, and to add some kind of mesh around the edges of the breast to soften the edges.  (Right now there are a few more dramatic angles than one would find in a typical breast, including my own reconstructed right one.  Yup, angles and breasts don't go together!)

I was hoping to finish up soon with the last two (let's hope it's only two) lengthy office procedures that would close this chapter on the reconstruction, but I found out I'll need to wait a number of months before proceeding.  Entering into this I knew the process would be long, but of course, it always feels different when you are in the middle of it.

Keep your fingers crossed things go well, and I will not be in a fog for a week do to the meds, that was the hardest part last time!

The Susan G. Komen foundation sponsors a HUGE event in Denver each year called the Race for the Cure.  This organization raises money to fight breast cancer, and is especially active in providing mammograms for under or uninsured women.  I participated in the event 4 years ago when I was still in chemo and all I can say is it is very moving.  My friend Sue organized a large team called Barb's buddies and we all walked together.

This year I've been debating about going. While it is an amazing and worthwhile event, it is also a complete and total zoo.  Today however, I proudly was able to participate today as a volunteer for a couple of hours.  My friend Andy is very active and committed to this organization.  In addition to running his own successful web design business and being a kick butt back country athlete, he designs and maintains the Komen-Denver site.  I was glad to lend a hand at the booth set up this afternoon.  Here is a shot of Andy standing proudly in front of a banner he designed.

 

I'm crossing my fingers and toes that tomorrow will be a typical lovely Colorado fall day, and all the snowy cold stuff that has been predicted will bypass the area.  I hope the event is a marvelous success!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to point you to a blog written by a Neuroscientist (and daughter of my friend Dora) called Health Taken Seriously.  Please check out the recent post on plastics.  In our world today we are surrounded by all kinds of toxins and carcinogens.  For our own health it is imperative we educate ourselves so we can make the best decisions for our health.  

If you don't want to read the entire post,  jump to the last paragraph.  It contains some very valuable recommendations. 

Stay well!

I'm in Raleigh after my brief stop in the Mountains.  I talked to a friend today.  The conversation took me back over 4 years when I was given the news that I needed to see a surgeon because of the "highly suspicious mass, consistent with malignancy".

When time stopped.  When my body was heavy, so heavy I didn't feel I could stand up.  So overwhelming I can only vaguely remember the dazed and confused feeling.  Numb.

My friend is facing some potentially terrifying news about their physical health.  The kind of news that really causes you to stop.  Reflect.  Remember.

And be thankful.   

Thankful that your biggest issues is the extra 5 lbs you can't seem to shed

Thankful that your mind is bothered by meaningless, insignificant crap.  

Thankful that you go to bed without wondering if you will wake up tomorrow.

Thankful that God's got your back....and you are free.

Don't wait, be thankful today.  Right now.  All the little stuff really really doesn't matter......trust me on this.

Great News!  Dr. McIronman cleared me to get active again!  I am so thrilled.  I had great plans for a lunchtime mountain bike ride yesterday, but the rain and light hail kept me inside.  (wimp... but heck, there might be lightening!).

I plan on taking full advantage of this clearance starting tomorrow!  I might even get out the new road bike that's been patiently waiting for me...all shiny, brand new, and never ridden.  Yipee!!

Yippee! I woke this morning to a clear head.  The anesthesia and medication fogginess is no where to be found.  I might even be able to string more than one sentence together!  I would make such a bad druggie -  the floating foggy feeling really doesn't work for me.

Elsewhere on  a physical front I'm healing nicely.  My biggest complaint is that I need to sleep elevated on my back to minimize swelling.  As a curled up side sleeper this doesn't work so well.  But, let's be real, three days after surgery and that is my biggest complaint?  Things are going real well. 

The permanent implants are so much more comfortable than the tissue expanders.  They look, feel and move like real tissue.  Pretty amazing science.  Dr. McIronman did a great job.  He removed alot of scar tissue that had accumulated.  He also listened to me about size.  I didn't want to be too large.  I didn't undertake this surgery so I could be enhanced, I did it to remove the risk of a second primary breast cancer.  A few friends of mine have complained that their docs made them too large.  So, I was firm......go on the small side. 

For the swap surgery the doc has available about 3 different size implants.  They open you up, remove the tissue expander under the muscle, and then figure out which implant fits the best in the cavity created by the expander.  They sit you up on the table.  The plastic surgeon makes a judgment call on what he thinks looks good.  (Which is why I think many women end up being larger than they want   So, I was firm, I don't need to look like I've been enhanced....I was ok with my size beforehand.  And, these things don't age or sag....I don't want to look like a freak when I'm older. 

Bottom line, no regrets.  I feel great!

Today was a great and wonderful day following surgery yesterday.  I took it very easy, napped, rested, napped, iced the impacted areas frequently and napped some more.  I'm still foggy from the anesthesia and pain medications, but that should lift in a day or two.  I only took Motrin today - no narcotics! 

I hope to get out for an easy walk tomorrow.  The wildflowers here at Mountain House are starting to pop and I want to get some pictures.  I'm not the best flower picture taker, but sometimes I get lucky. 

They jellyfish sting hasn't been too bad either.  Something they gave me to prevent swelling from the surgery brought down the inflammation in my arm.  Nice when the side effects are positive. 

Today's swap surgery went extremely well.  We checked in at 7am, I was happy on medication by 8am,  back in recovery before 10am, and home by noon.  I feel amazingly well right now, however it would be ill advised to sign any legal documents given the dope legal narcotics in my bloodstream.  

My plastic surgeon, aka Dr. McIronman as he is known in the Boulder area cancer sorority, is not only a great plastic surgeon as evidenced by his work, but a nice person with a good personality.  He decided to become a plastic surgeon after his mom developed breast cancer.  He is about my age, and last year prior to my first phase completed an Ironman Triathlon event in England.  He spent Sunday at the 5430 Sprint Tri, while I slept in and got over not being able to participate.  

Regardless, I feel really good, but a bit sleepy and dopey.  Back to bed for me!