Given the heat wave in Colorado I'm looking for any reason to allow myself to just sit in cool water.  So, I managed the perfect solution....borrowing the nephew and niece-ette for some quality fun Auntie time at rec center pool.  

I just relish the time I spend with these two delightful little human beings.  Especially just me and them.  Not that I don't love the kids parents dearly, and treasure time with them as a family (or with my girlfriend 1 on 1 as one of my bestest friends), it's just that some things are even more remarkable when shared independently.  My godchild loves to be held by me, and the nephew-ette, now 5, loves showing off his new aquatic skills.  I love throwing Jack the big rubber shark so he can dive after it, and swinging Elizabeth through the water, or cuddling with her in the shallows, smelling all that wonderful toddler smell.   I cannot even believe how blessed and fortunate I am to have these little angels in my life, and that I'm actually allowed to borrow them.   How cool is that? 

All of my life, up until recently, I wanted to have kids more than anything.  I obsessed about it, planned for it, dreamed about it and tried to structure my life around that goal.  What I learned is that sometimes no matter how much we want things and do what ever "think" we need to do, sometimes it is just not meant to be.....that God has a different plan.....that sometimes we just don't always get what we want.  I'm not exactly sure what God's plan for me is, but by me not actually having my "own" kids I can spoil these two kiddos with love and fun like nothing else, and that I have time that I can commit to the Eldora Special Recreation Program and work with the disabled community.  Maybe this is what God had in mind?  I don't know, but I'm sure there is a reason. 

Regardless, letting all that go has been one of the healthiest things I've ever done for myself.  I really never thought I could get here....and I have.  Go figure....!!!