James' Mac here again. OK, I've just about had enough of this "time for myself" thing. James has been gone since Wednesday, and although I like having time for myself, this is getting a little out of hand. A thin layer of dust is starting to settle on my silver casing. And what about my keys? Will they still have the same flexibility the next time he caresses them?
I'm starting to think that this "alone" thing isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I miss the warm sensation I get whenever NetBeans starts up. I miss my connection with the world through the LAN cable. And the way my external monitor lights up whenever I talk to it. Oh, the sorrow. How could he have deserted me like this? Aren't there more tutorials to write? Isn't there a user out there in dire need a new online Help topic? Is anybody listening to me?
Oh well, I guess I'll have to be patient. James will be back tomorrow and then it's back to business, baby!
This is James' Mac again. James is still on vacation in Eastern Bohemia. I'm sitting back and relaxing. Nobody'll be banging on my keys for another 48 hours at least. This is definitely the life.
Since I finally have the chance to make my voice heard, let me try to clear up a few myths about computers. I am a computer, so I can offer a unique perspective on the matter. OK brace yourselves, this might hurt a bit.
90 % of all computer malfunctions originate between the keyboard and the chair. Unless, of course, you're using Microsoft Windows, where this figure can be as low as 10 %.
James is somewhere in Eastern Bohemia this weekend. He left some scheduled blogs to be published, but since he's gone, I hope you won't mind me, his computer, taking over for a while. (When the cat's away, the mice will play.)
Well, uh, where do I start? How about a little background information? I'm a 17" MacBook Pro. James and I got together in October of 2006, after his ex, a Sony Viao, and he weren't getting along so well. He still has nightmares about all the blue screens he saw when he and his Viao were together. It was a horrible relationship. I'm happy to say that our relationship is a very stable one. No crashes to date, although Parallels does make me a little tipsy sometimes, and when I get tipsy I slow down a little.
Wow. I'm starting to like this blogging thing. It's allowing me to get a lot of things off my keyboard.
James takes pretty good care of me. He cleans my screen regularly, and he even still puts the original plastic liner between the screen and keyboard before he close me. I only wish he would spend less time with me, I mean, I have a life too. It seems like we're always together, especially before NetBeans releases. Oh well, I guess I'll get used to it.
It happened under cover of a snowstorm. The soldiers arrived, carrying their buckets and wipers. Soon the building was overcome with their presences. Old women and children hid in cellars. They rappelled off the roofs and into our lives.
Our homeland would never be the same; and the windows would be a lot cleaner.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Mar 18 2008, 03:29:22 PM CET )Permalink
Friday January 18, 2008
Friday Funnies: Stupid Stella
Hi all,
This is my third YouTube video. I recorded it last Friday right after I got up.
Let me know what you think.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Jan 18 2008, 10:24:53 AM CET )Permalink
Monday January 14, 2008
A Day of Mourning
Hi all,
San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24
The score says it all. The end of a season, for some the end of a career. For me, a day of mourning.
Oh, the pain.
See you tomorrow.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Jan 14 2008, 04:00:19 PM CET )Permalink
Friday January 11, 2008
My Second YouTube Video
Hi all,
Uh-oh. Now I've done it. This morning before I started working, I grabbed my guitar and recorded a music video. It's a song I wrote almost a year and a half ago: I'm in Love with My Dentist. I know that a lot of you are thinking that a dentist's office is not a place for romance. Normally I'd agree, but you never know when and where love will happen.
Click the video to see it.
The words should be easy to understand. Here are the lyrics if you want to sing along:
I’m in Love with My Dentist
I’m in love with my dentist
She’s got the sweetest touch
She's fixing my cavities, I like it so much
She makes me feel so fine
I’ve had the same damned tooth filled 23 times
I’m in love with my dentist
I met her on a Saturday
I had a bad toothache that wouldn’t go away
Now I just can’t get enough
I think I’ll give up flossing and forget to brush
I’m in love with my dentist
I’d love to take her out but I’m too shy to ask
And kiss those ruby red lips behind the surgical mask
I’m in love with my dentist
I never want to leave her chair
I’ve never had a better cleaning anywhere
She’s using every tool on her cart
And drilling her way right to my heart
I’m in love with my dentist, I’m in love with my dentist
I think I’ll go and see her now
I’m in the strangest mood for another root canal
Don’t want a needle for my pain
I look into her eyes and I don’t feel a thing
I’m in love with my dentist
I think she knows that I feel something for her inside
I can hear it in her voice when she says, “open wide”
I’m in love with my dentist
I feel so good beside her
My mouth’s open wide but my heart is open wider
I know that she is worth my while
When she’s doing my teeth, I’ve get the biggest smile
She's so damned good you know, I never want to give her up
I was looking for some dental work, but I ended up finding love
This is my last blog entry for 2007, and it's going to contain a lot of griping. You see, I live just outside of Prague, in a small village which is very limited when it comes to Internet access. If I lived in Prague, I'd have several possibilities, each offering reliable Internet service at a competitive price. But no, my pastoral existence affords me only the services of O2 Telefonica, the biggest rip-off I have ever seen (when it come to Internet providers). If you are an O2 customer, you probably already know exactly what I'm talking about. Here's a quick rundown:
Service cuts out often for a few minutes (usually when I'm trying to check out something via CVS). O2 maintains that this is just part of life with ASDL. When you call their call center, after waiting for more than an hour (sometimes even longer), you get a sorry explanation that ASDL is not a dependable technology and that your contract states that such "loss of service" is tolerable if it doesn't exceed 24 hours.
Each user is subjected to what they refer to as the Fair Usage Policy. This means that data transfer is limited according to the type (and more importantly the amount) of the contract. The FUP for each month starts on the first of the month, and if you're unlucky, you'll exceed your limit before the end of the month. For the remainder of the month, you'll have to deal with dial-up speeds, making the downloading of anything of size nearly impossible. Some contracts have a FUP limit of 5 GB, the highest 40 GB. The pretend idea behind the FUP is to keep users from sharing movies, music, and such, which tends to hog bandwidth. The real reason for the FUP is to get the user to subscribe to a more expensive package. Wonder how I know this? When you call their call center complaining about the slow speed, they immediately launch their sales pitch for the more expensive version of service. Other Internet providers have long since abandoned FUP, but not O2, especially where they have a monopoly.
O2 has a weird policy on making changes to user accounts. For example, just visit any one of O2 branches and try to change anything on your account: address, phone number, etc. The documents they required to make the change can vary from residency permit or passport to conformation from landlord to birth certificate. I supposed it's better to play it safe and have everything with you. Even then they might come up with something completely off the wall.
So I sit here with my dial-up speed Internet, waiting until midnight tonight when the fast service is supposed to kick back in.
I've finished griping for now.
I wish you all a wonderful New Year's Eve and a happy, successful, and healthy 2008.
See you tomorrow in 2008
--James
Posted by branajam
( Dec 31 2007, 01:09:45 PM CET )Permalink
Friday December 28, 2007
Meeting Friends
Hi again,
Today I got the chance to meet up with some friends who are also fellow alumni. Those of you who read my blog know that I'm an alumnus of Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon. Today, three of us got together in Prague for a couple of beers. We had a great time talking about what we've been through since graduating. It was a nice trip down memory lane.
It's funny where our lives have led us. I never thought I'd end up as a tech writer for NetBeans. I guess I've been a bit lucky, haven't I?
See you tomorrow.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Dec 28 2007, 09:05:18 PM CET )Permalink
Monday December 03, 2007
Bowl-bound Beavers
Hi all,
My alma mater (Oregon State University) has done it again. They surprised the University of Oregon in the final game of the season. For those of you following Pac-10 football, this means that the Beavers finish in third place in the Pac-10. Not bad for a team that was supposed to finish in the bottom half of the conference.
I'm as proud as can be. A third-place finish means a decent bowl game, not one of the meaningless post-season venues like in the past. I'm looking forward to seeing where the Beavs will be playing.
Tomorrow's blog entry will be a very special one indeed. Something huge is happening today, and you should find out about it in a couple of hours. I'm sure you know what it is, but I won't spoil the surprise for you if you don't.
See you tomorrow.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Dec 03 2007, 05:04:47 PM CET )Permalink
Sunday November 04, 2007
The Game
VS.
It's here. The game of the season. Tonight. The 8-0 New England Patriots visit the 7-0 Indianapolis Colts. Only one team remains undefeated.
I'm very nervous, and you bet that I'll be watching this one.
See you tomorrow when the Colts are 8-0.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Nov 04 2007, 06:59:21 PM CET )Permalink
Wednesday October 31, 2007
Another Useless Holiday
WARNING: COMPLAINING AHEAD!
Here we go again. Central Europe has once again embraced a another minor holiday celebrated in English-speaking countries. Walking into my building this morning, I encountered a Czech receptionist wearing a huge witch's hat, just like something right out of the Wizard of Oz. If I had been walking into a building in the States, I might not have even noticed, but this is the Czech Republic. Illustrations in Czech literature have always depicted witches differently than in English Literature. No pointed witch's hat. No warts on the nose.
Having lived in this country for more than 12 years, I've watched with disdain how American holiday icons have been replacing traditional Czech icons, and in some cases, creating a whole new holiday. First it was watching the image of Santa Claus creep into all the stores; then St. Valentine's Day became all the rage. (If you don't buy your significant other a gift now, you'll be in the doghouse for forgetting a holiday that didn't even exist here 15 years ago.) Now it's Halloween. I remember teaching high school back in the 90s. Some Czech kids had never even heard of it. Now the same kids - adults now - argue over which Halloween party to attend.
And it's all because companies want to sell more candy.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Halloween...or Christmas ... or any holiday for that matter. (Halloween at least actually has deep roots in Celtic/Anglo-Saxon culture.) I just don't get the commercialization of our customs and traditions. But even this bothers me less than watching customs and traditions of other countries succumb to the same commercialization and even watching these traditions disappear.
Tonight the Carolina Panthers become the next group of football felines to be trampled by the Colts.
I'll be watching this feline fiasco.
See you tomorrow when the Colts are 7-0.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Oct 28 2007, 03:32:10 PM CET )Permalink
Tuesday October 23, 2007
Some Things Never Change
Hi all,
I am even fortunate to have been able to travel to Czechoslovakia while it was still communist. I remember those rainy days in Prague in May 1987: Skoda, Lada, and Trabant cars leaving a trail of dirty smoke in the air as they passed me. There were no emission standards back then. If you had a car, you drove it, regardless of what chemicals you were pumping into the atmosphere.
Now it's 2007. While Trabants are Ladas have become less common, the same Skodas are still pumping poisonous gases into the air, for all to breathe. I know what you're thinking: With the European Union's very strict laws on automobile emissions in effect, these "smogmobiles" must be long gone from the streets of Prague. Wrong. People in this country have and always will find a way to circumvent any law that might have any effect on their lifestyle. They do this with bribes.
A good friend of mine recently took his car in for its biannual technical inspection. The car, a Skoda built in 1985, failed the inspection due to bad emission levels. Upon being notified of his car's poor results, there were two things he could have done: he could have had the car repaired so that it would pass the inspection, or he could pay a small fee to the inspection service (via a third person) and pass the inspection with flying colors. My friend, disregarding advice from me and others, chose the latter. It cost him 1,600 Czech Crowns ($80) to get through the inspection, repairs would have cost him three times as much. Now the car is back on the road, leaving that same trail of smoke wherever it goes. One more problem solved by an international phenomenon called corruption.
The Czech Republic - along with several other Central and Eastern European countries - is known for its corruption. The country has consistently ranked high on corruption indexes which published from time to time. Despite many laws enacted by the Czech and European parliaments on the books to fight it, corruption is alive and well in this country. Simply put: old habits die hard.
Here are some everyday examples:
When you apply for a loan or a mortgage at a Czech bank, you bring a gift for the loan officer. Society dictates the type of gift: some years it's a couple of bottles of very good single-malt Scotch, other years it's a mountain bike. By the way, the gift is to ensure that you loan or mortgage application is considered for approval. It is by no means a guarantee that you will get the loan.
When you visit the doctor or the dentist, bring along a small gift. A bottle of some alcoholic beverage will do fine. It will also get you on the inside track the next time you need the same doctor or dentist. It's called "state-run health care with a twist (of lemon)."
Should a policeman stop you for any number of reasons (or for no reason at all, which is perfectly legal and quite common), prepare to grease his palms. Not paying him in cash will usually result in a much higher fine, as will asking for receipt for the cash you paid. Pay in cash, and never ask for a receipt and you'll do fine.
These are just four examples of how life works here. If you were born here, you're used to it. If you come here to live, you get used to it, or leave.
Just venting.
See you tomorrow.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Oct 23 2007, 08:56:57 PM CEST )Permalink
Sunday October 07, 2007
The Bucs Stop Here
VS.
It's football day again, and I'll be up again tonight, watching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers get beat by the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts are looking to go 5-0.
I know that a lot of you are thinking that it must be boring, watching your favorite team win every week. Well, it's not (and the Colts do everything they can to keep it close).
See you tomorrow, bright and early.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Oct 07 2007, 09:39:25 AM CEST )Permalink
Sunday September 30, 2007
Battle of the Horses
VS.
Another group of felines is about to trampled by the Colts. The Carolina Panthers are this week's victims. The game starts in about 2 1/2 hours.
And once again I'll be watching.
See you tomorrow when the Colts are 7-0.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Sep 30 2007, 05:55:43 PM CEST )Permalink
Thursday September 27, 2007
James' Greek Ass
Hi all,
I've just returned from beautiful Crete, where I soaked up a lot of Cretan sun (and even more Greek food). We had a wonderful time there, and I must say that I've never met friendlier people than the people we met there.
As the title of my blog implies, Cretan animals were very friendly as well. We ran into this Greek ass while we were descending Mount Ida, the mythological birthplace of Zeus (in a cave). On the way up, a man offered to let us ride his ass for 15 Euros, but we decided to walk instead. We opted for a photo on the way down. The ass was certainly grateful, and felt obliged to pose for the pic you see at the top.
Now ask yourself: Have you ever seen a prettier ass?
I had at least one heart attack last night while watching my Colts squeak by the Tennessee Titans 22-20. It was not pretty. But a win is a win is a win. The Colts are now 2-0 and face Houston (2-0) next week, after which I'll be doing my victory dance once again.
Sharat, I hope your Redskins win tonight at Philadelphia.
Last week, I was on vacation for a couple of days. I spent the time traveling around the Czech Republic, visiting castles and other historical sites. I had a great time, but made one major mistake, and it really got my goat, so to speak.
The mistake happened on day 1 of the trip. We were visiting the Helfenburk Castle ruins when I noticed a small group of goats grazing in the castle courtyard. I walked over to the goats, and while I was engaged in interesting conversation with a couple of them (international politics), a larger goat walked up to me and starting rubbing itself against the side of my body. No big deal, I thought, but by the time I realized what it had done it was too late. And nothing could have prepared me for the stink that was to come.
As a child, I grew up in a rural area, and became familiar with lots of different animals. However, goats (and the smell associated with them) never made into my learning curriculum. So, I have an excuse for my lack of "goatlore." I have to say that everything was OK at first, but when we arrived back at the car, my social status quickly plummeted to that of a pariah. A little bad judgment on my part led to a weekend of nostril nausea. Simply, no-one had ever told me that goats tend to stink. Now, I'm not talking about the aroma of a fit of flatulence or even the scent of a simmering cesspool, flatulence fades, and you can walk away from a cesspool. I'm talking about blunt force nasal nastiness that followed me everywhere and refused to go away. The give that keeps on giving, if you will. I tried nearly everything to get rid of the smell, and almost went through a whole can of deodorant.
The weekend was long for all parties involved.
So now I've learned my lesson. And now you can learn from this writer's adventure. Don't let a goat near you until the last day of your trip. And even then, be prepared to walk home.
Aaaahhh. Fall is in the air. I can smell it. Leaves are falling from the trees, there's a crispness in the air, and footballs are starting to fly. Last night, the 2007 NFL season began, and my life has just become a little more perfect.
Before I start bragging about my team, let me give you a little background information. I became a fan of the Indianapolis Colts American football team in 1984 when they moved to Indianapolis (the nearest big city to where I lived) from Baltimore. Before that I had been a Cincinnati Bengals fan (owing to the same reason). The first years were very tough for Colts fans. Losses were much more common than wins, and for several years, the Colts were the laughing stock of the NFL.
But I stuck with them. Then they started winning. They have made the playoffs eight years in a row, and last year even won the Superbowl. Funny, I now see a lot of Colts sweatshirts, baseball caps, and other gear whenever I go to the U.S. I guess that Colts fans are everywhere. But how many of these people were fans when the Colts went 1-15 (1991), 3-13 (1987), or had to endure the Jack Trudeau years (1986-1993)? Very few. Even after winning the championship last year, Colts fans had to put up with off-season commentary about how other teams were better, and that they would stumble this season.
Indianapolis 41, New Orleans 10
I guess you could call last night game a stumble. If anything, the Colts stumbled all over the New Orleans Saints, trampling them in the process. The first half was a little close, but then the Colts blew it open in the second half, scoring 31 unanswered points. It was definitely worth getting up for. (The game started at 2:30 a.m. CEDT).
So I make my prediction now: The Colts will repeat as champions.
See you tomorrow.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Sep 07 2007, 12:22:35 PM CEST )Permalink
Saturday July 14, 2007
A YouTube First For Me
Hi all,
Today I was sitting here thinking that I was probably the only person in the world who hadn't uploaded a video to YouTube. Well, not anymore. I picked up my guitar, turned on the video camera and went to it. I decided to record a song I wrote a few years ago (in 1996). It even won a song-writing award, which really surprised me. It's in Czech, which probably surprises a lot of people. Click on this link (Nuselské Blues) to see the lyrics and an English translation. Enjoy!
By the way, Nusle is a part of Prague, and where I lived when I first moved there.
(If you're reading this blog entry from a site other than blogs.sun.com, you might not be able to see the video. Please go to James' Blog to see it.)
Since returning from my vacation, I've received several emails asking about my trip. I thought a blog post would be a good way to answer them all at once.
We started out on Saturday and drove in a big circle: Prague > Sobotka > Rychnov > Broumov > Litomyšl > Olomouc > Kroměříž > Valtice > Mikulov > Znojmo > Prague. We saw lots of wonderful things, did some biking, and tried some great wine. Here are some of the highlights:
Biking in beautiful Český raj (Bohemian Paradise), visiting the castles Trosky and Kost (above photograph)
Biking around Broumovské stěny and Adršpašské skály (natural sandstone formations) near the Polish border. It was a very hot day, and we biked about 80 km (50 miles)
Historical Litomyšl, home of Bedřich Smetana, one of the most famous Czech composers. We took a tour of the chateau there as well
Kroměříž was fabulous with it huge chateau and gardens.
We went to a winery in Valtice, a city famous for its wine. We tried 16 different wines and were lucky to find our may back to our bed and breakfast. I ended up buying three bottles of Rulandské šedé, but it will be a while before I start drinking wine again.
Mikulov: Too many things to write here, just visit it and you'll see what I mean
For my colleagues in the U.S. interested in visiting this beautiful country, I'd love to show you around. To give you an idea about how expensive it all was, here is a quick price breakdown:
Accommodation (per person, per night) at bed and breakfasts: least expensive 200 Czech crowns ($9.40), most expensive 550 crowns ($25.80 including breakfast)
Meals (per person, including beverage): least expensive 110 crowns ($5.25), most expensive 180 crowns ($8.45)
Evening at winery including wine-tasting, live music, and food: 350 crowns ($16.50)
Right now you're probably thinking: "Why haven't I already booked my flight to the Czech Republic?" Well, only you can answer that question. Keep in mind, however, that Prague is much more expensive than the rest of the country. I'll be happy to help you find places that are reasonable, and show you around as well. So think about it Visual Web Team!
See you soon
--James
Posted by branajam
( Jun 27 2007, 10:15:45 AM CEST )Permalink
Saturday June 16, 2007
Vacation: Biking, Hiking, Wineries, and Dineries
Hi all,
My week, my JAVA_HOME will be set to somewhere in the Czech Republic, where I'll be hiking, biking, and visiting wineries and dineries .
See you on June 25 when my recovery from the above mentioned activities officially begins.
--James
Posted by branajam
( Jun 16 2007, 03:32:27 PM CEST )Permalink
Sunday May 04, 2008 
VS.
VS.
VS.
.