Chris Saul's Blog

Sunday May 11, 2008

The CIA are hunting me down

There are two explanations...

a) The area I live is being covertly monitored by American special agents under deep cover. Being American special agents, they still have to look cool, hence the fact they all wear "Mean Looking Special Agent Sunglasses TM".

b) Someone has sold the construction labourers a job lot of sunglasses that make them all look like American special agents under deep cover.

They're on to me!

A real Land Rover

Here's a 'real' Land Rover.

The photo was taken by Captain Alexander Allan of the Grenadier Guards, during deployment in Helmand, Afghanistan. My father recently bought this and one other photo at an exhibition in Chelsea Barracks in support of the army's benevolent fund.

The squad is known as an MIT - Mentoring and Instruction Team. Their role was to mentor and train the Afghan National Army.

(The scan has clipped off the chap on the left, but it's still worth posting!)

I'd love to have the chance to drive one of these as well as one of the famous 'Pink Panther' Land Rovers, the first military vehicles to be adapted for the desert.

Photo from Topgear.com

Saturday May 10, 2008

Fixing fixing

We seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment with certain things in the flat.

After lots of fighting we managed to get the developers' sub-contractors to come and rectify various things that weren't finished properly.

Some things they did well, but the things they did badly are awful. Communication seems to be more of a problem than sheer incompetence, although the latter's playing a major role.

When the guys came round, I try to make it clear that whilst there are things I want to be fixed, I don't want them done if it means that what is supposed to be repaired is simply going to be made worse.

The end result is part a bathroom door frame being replaced with a piece of wood whose grain and colour is completely different from the original and a front door 'repaired' by being smeared round the edges with varnish that's completely the wrong colour.

I can't understand why a workman would just get on with a job, knowing that it's either pointless or is going to look awful. There seems to be some cultural thing going on - I think the workmen, who mostly come from India, are afraid to tell me when things really can't be improved, so they just get on with a complete bodge job instead.

In the UK, Mr Smith (or Mr Smithskynski these days) would suck his teeth and say 'can't make it any better, mate - that's the best it'll be'. That would mean I'd be able to complain to the developer about poor quality and whatever scratches or blothes would remain as they were. That'd be far better than having the scratches and blotches covered in brown varnish so that they looked like scratches and blotches covered in brown varnish, leaving me irritated, Mrs Saul distinctly unimpressed and us still having to complain to the developer.

In the garage again

I need to buy shares in our local garage.

Fresh from the radiator blowing up, the Wrangler then came out of a regular service with a 2,300Dhs bill ($625). Now it's been in again as the AC fan's not been working - that'll cost another 2,300Dhs.

The Range Rover's got a lot of wobble coming through the steering wheel at over 100Kmhs and hour and seems to have an oil leak - it is a Land Rover, after all. It's way off a service, but it'll have to go in to be looked at and will doubtless cost money.

The wobble irritates me - when it was being serviced I pointed out a very mild wobble and slight pull to the right to the garage. They did an 'electronic' wheel balance, but when I got it back it was clear they'd not tested it properly as the problem was still there. Now it's got worse. Dammit.

Wednesday May 07, 2008

Boris kicks off

Boris Johnson's kicked off his new term as London Mayor with a ban on drinking on London Transport.

I expect most Brits will generally knuckle down and behave themselves, as we tend to do what we're told, after grumbling a bit. I hadn't realised drinking was much of a problem. I would have presumed that there are already laws that protect people from behaving badly on the trains and buses, whether they are drinking or not. Shouldn't those laws simply be enforced?

I can't help feeling that this banning malarkey is all a bit un-British. Do we really have to ban things in particular? Don't we already have some nice laws which say, in essence, 'come on chaps, behave decently, will you?' Will a crowd of rugby supporters off to Twickers really not be able to sup a few ales on the way over?

I look forward to seeing a besuited City Gent sitting on the 18:32 to Guildford supping a particularly fine claret out of a brown paper bag.

More taxi chat

'Too much traffic Cairo, sayr. Dubai too much traffic?'

'Yes, too much traffic in Dubai.'

'Here in Egypt we have system...'

Horns blare all around us.

'...we have beeb beeb system!'

Fined

Dubai Police have, quite rightly, started to crack down heavily on speeding recently. The fines you pay have gone up severely. What used to be between 100Dhs ($27) and 200Dhs ($56) now appears to be between 400Dhs ($108) to 500Dhs ($136).

How do I know? Because we have two fines for speeding in the Range Rover.

Speeding's wrong so I can't complain. I would like to know how fast we were going and exactly where the fine occurred, but I can't get that info from the Dubai Police website at this point in time.

For five years we've been grinding along at 120Kmph in the Wrangler and Vitara, unable to go much over the speed limit even if we'd wanted to. Ironic that this new crackdown coincides with our getting a car that can actually go faster than 120Kmph on an empty road, in complete comfort and safety.

Supercharged Range Rover - not for dune bashing

Whenever a new Range Rover is brought out, news articles usually breathlessly report that Land Rover have conducted 'extensive testing' in the deserts of the UAE.

I've really no idea what those Land Rover engineers are actually doing, as the Range Rover, despite its many, many good points, is a car that has been hobbled for sand driving - it may be great in mud, water and on rocks, but it fails in the dunes.

Last weekend I got the chance to accompany a friend of ours, Mark Daffey, on a trip to the Empty Quarter to review a 2008 superchared Range Rover. Mark edits Portfolio, Emirates' business and first class magazine. It occasionally features a world leading columnist who also happens to be one of the most interesting bloggers writing today.

We went along in our Wrangler with Sharky, a friend from ME4x4, kindly offering to lead.

I was lucky enough to drive the Range Rover a fair bit.

First impressions were excellent - little's changed on the outside, beyond a new grid design for the front grill and gills. Our 2003 model's interior is beautiful and Land Rover have again left well alone - the addition of a simple cup holder to replace the Heath Robinson style holders of the earlier models, coupled with a few more air vents for quieter AC make a big difference. Getting in and out was easier as well - you have to be careful not to lean too hard on the plastic around the seat on the older model, but Land Rover appear to have positioned things better this time around. Some poor decisions still persist though - the plastic coating around the electric window controls and on the steering wheel appears unchanged. Look at any Range Rover over two years old and you'll see that this coating quickly starts to peel - not something you expect from a car this expensive. Look at a two year old Lexus 470 and I don't think you'll find anything peeling.

The new model sees the BMW 4.4 litre V8 replaced with a Jaguar based 4.2 litre V8. Our supercharged version has 400Bhp roaring under the bonnet. The ride that this delivers, coupled with the Rangie's air suspension, is incredible. This was the first time I've driven a car where flooring the accelerator actually pins you to the back of your seat. Doing this in a 2.5 tonne 4x4 on a rough track really is something else.

On tracks and gentle dunes, the Range Rover's ride quality is truly superb. Bumps are absorbed even at high speeds. I drove the car back down a track I had driven up in in the Wrangler, jolting and bumping along, deafened by AC fans at full blast and noise coming up through the floor. Driving back in the Range Rover was a revelation.

Sadly, when it got to real dune driving, the Range Rover was a colossal let down.

Much of the blame can be pinned on its low profile tyres. Sadly the dealer didn't swap them for higher profile tyres more suited to desert driving, which was a real shame. That said, although they look good, does the Range Rover really need such low profile tyres? 90% of owners will never go offroad, but part of the fun in owning a Range Rover is that you know that you could if you wanted to. Other comparable models - the new Lexus LX570 and even the three tonne Nissan Armada behemoth, for example - ship with tyres that look good but which are much more general purpose.

Whilst riding on gatch tracks and smooth sand was a pleasure, things went south when we tried something more challenging. Deflating the low profile tyres to 13psi didn't deliver a lot of extra grip, but things seemed ok at first. Turning sharply on dunes however filtered up awful grinding noises into the cabin that may have been caused the rims rubbing on the sand. Braking seemed to fail completely as well - touching the brakes at certain key moments felt like metal crushing metal. This may have been sand getting between the discs and brakes, but my Wrangler's front disc brakes have never made sounds like it.

Worse still was the fact that the car's electronics hobble it for this kind of terrain. Dune driving is not usually about approaching things slowly and surely - you need speed, torque and a driver in strict control of how to use it.

My 03 Ranger Rover has a five speed automatic gearbox, with high and low ratio and the ability to select gears 'tiptronic' style. The new model has inherited its offroad features from the LR3. There are various settings - sand, rocks, snow, etc. There's also a six speed automatic in addition, of course, to high and low range.

Mark wanted to get some shots of the car driving along a simple dune. I started off using the 'sand' setting, but had trouble with the gearbox changing up at crucial moments, losing me speed and momentum and forcing me to turn sharply back down a dune that I should easily have been able to cruise along the top of, albeit at a sharp angle.

To counter this, I decided to try low range and manually choose the gears. In the Wrangler, most of my desert driving's done in low range, using third fourth and fifth. The extra torque gives you the power you need without requiring the speed that high-range demands to keep momentum.

Sadly, the Range Rover's gearbox only lets you manually select gears up to third, effectively making it useless for most decent dune driving. This video shows the Wrangler negotiating a fantastic bowl in Sweihan. I'm in fourth and fifth in low range for most of it. Doing something like that in the Range Rover would require you to be in full automatic the whole time, something that would rob the driver of the control he'd need to do it safely.

Third gear was fine for the simple dune we were attacking. At first I was pretty pleased - control and power were put back in my hands. Unfortunately, I kept hitting the kickdown button when flooring the accelerator, which pushed me down into second gear. I don't know if all automatics still have kickdown working when you're in tiptronic mode, but it was a real pain. When you're bouncing around in the desert, you're not able to keep your foot hovering just at the right position to avoid changing down a gear by mistake.

Another piece of electronic wizardry robs the driver of control in the sand. The Range Rover's air suspension can be raised to increase clearance from just under 9 inches up to 11 inches, as well as drastically improving the car's approach and departure angle. Unfortunately, drive over 30 miles an hour and it automatically lowers itself. This is the last thing you want to happen, particularly with a front bumper whose design makes it a big sand scoop.

We drove over a small bump that really shouldn't have been an issue - it certainly wouldn't have been in a Land Cruiser - and caught the bottom of the bumper, cracking it slightly and ripping off the plastic trim that covers the wheel arch.

We decided to call it a day at this point to avoid further damage.

Every review I have read says that the Range Rover is not just a beautiful luxury car, but a very capable offroad vehicle as well, with electronics that really helps the driver. Granted, higher profile tyres would have made a real difference, but the other problems suggest that when Land Rover engineers are testing Range Rovers in Dubai, they're either sticking to the wadis, enjoying the fantastic empty motorways or just making sure the AC works properly. I might take mine to Fossil Rock, but the Wrangler will be tackling future sandy outings.

I did see a local gentleman driving down Beach Road the other day in a Range Rover with fully modified front and rear bumpers and full sand tyres. His changes, coupled with the car's luxury ride, must make it great fun on the dunes. I wonder what he did with the water bottle though? For some strange reason it's embedded into the bumper, making modifications hard.

I should add that the dune driving we did was actually back at our usual stomping ground, Area 53. This was because shortly after airing down...

...we only spent 5 minutes in the sands of Liwa before Sharky was incredibly unlucky and wedged his Discovery. The sun was high and there were no shadows to give away a small dip, which he plunged into sideways, pushing his bumper and winch up a few inches, squashing his radiator. He was easily pulled out...

...but it would have been unwise to continue. Sharky headed home and we drove to Area 53 to get some shots and camp.

To be honest, given the Range Rover's poor performance in the sand, it was probably a good thing.

You can see a video of the Range Rover on the sand track here and pulling out the Discovery here>.

All in all, a good day out, if a little accident prone. Sharky's stuck, the Range Rover's bumper - my Max Air pump also broke, as did Mark's glasses! Maybe it was just not meant to be.

I must say a big thank you to Nick for letting me 'have a go'. Nick is Mark's colleague and he'll be writing the article for Portfolio.

Nothing to break and the driver's in full control:

This is probably your most reliable form of desert transport, however:

Tuesday May 06, 2008

Taxi chat

'Yes sayr, Cairo too much traffic. London too much traffic?'

'Yes, but I think drivers in London are a bit more polite.'

'Yes sir. British system for traffic. Egypt has also a system...'

Driver sighs as hotel car is nearly crushed between two suicidal Cairo taxis.

'...but Egypt system something quite different I think.'

Monday April 28, 2008

Are you a Goth?

This tragedy, as described via the BBC, beggars belief.

I remember when I was around 16 and 17, cycling around and sitting with friends around Richmond town centre. You'd regularly get groups of what we called 'Kevs' (short for Kevin) roaming around looking for 'Goths'. Goths appeared to mean anyone who wasn't wearing a shellsuit and a baseball cap and didn't live on any of the nearby council estates. We had 'The Whitton Lot' and 'The Ham Mob', amongst others. When they weren't fighting eachother and drinking Special Brew, they were drinking Special Brew and looking for 'Goths'.

It goes without saying that not everyone from the local council estates was a shellsuit wearing moron, but the Kevs all happened to come from there.

One evening I remember being approached by a bunch of Kevs. 'Are you a Goth,' they asked. Being incredibly quick thinking under my floppy hair, I simply replied 'No, er, I'm not'. 'Cheers mate. Do you know where there are any?' was the odd reply.

I wasn't able to inform them as to the whereabouts of any local Goths.

One evening I got punched in the face by one particular Kev who sat down next to us for a bit before standing up and belting me. We ran off and got the Police, who came back down to the riverside instantly after interviewing us. I identified the guy who hit me and he was arrested and charged. I also made it, with the two friends I was with, to Richmond Magistrates' Court. He'd pleaded not guilty - standard practice, as advised by defence solicitors for these kinds of crimes as the witnesses don't usually turn up. We were there though and he changed his plea, being ordered to pay me around £200 at about £5 a week.

The Police praised us for bothering to turn up. Most witnesses didn't bother and they were pleased to nail this guy, who was a repeat offender, but never convicted. I'd thought he was in his early twenties, but he turned out to be just fifteen years old.

It seems in this, clearly far more tragic case, the Police did their job well too.

I really have no ideas how this kind of awful behaviour can be stopped.

Sunday April 27, 2008

When elephants attack

We spent the last week but one in Sri Lanka, visiting various places and generally enjoying ourselves.

The view in Ella -

One afternoon was spent at Udawalawe national park.

I have a nice point and shoot digital camera that also takes quite good video clips, but I don't bring it with me if Mrs Saul's bringing her much better Sony. This was one occasion where I will forever regret not having taken a video of the elephants we saw, but hopefully Mrs Saul's excellent photos will convey what happened...

Based on the last time we went on safari in Sri Lanka, I was expecting to enjoy the automotive wildlife more than anything else. True to form, plenty of classic Land Rovers were on display.

Last year there were even some old Series 1s still in use. This herd featured some 'newer' Defenders. I love seeing these old things still going and still making money for their owners, even if there's hardly a newer one to be seen on the island, now that Toyota have well and truly stolen Land Rover's market. They all seem to rattle along regardless of load. Ten Sri Lankans, a drive and a guide were no issue. I also found it interesting to see a diesel engine at work. We rode over some hefty ruts in ours and it just kept pulling along, even in two wheel drive - apparently the front differential was broken. I think the Wrangler would have had to been put in and out of low range, less convenient than just trundling along.

I hear what you're saying though - get to the elephants and stop wittering on about old Land Rovers and diesel vs petrol.

Ten minutes into our drive and we stopped by a group of elephants enjoying a mud bath right next to the road, something our guide told us we were lucky to see so close up.

We spent a while looking at them while they enjoyed their bath. There were no males in the group, as males get kicked out and have to roam around on their own, unless it's mating time. Quite right too.

Two of the adults were pregnant.

After a while they began slowly crossing the road, right in front of the Land Rover. I began to think to myself that we were really a bit too close and seemed to resent our presence.

We watched them cross over for a minute or two as they headed away from us.

Mrs Saul was clearly thinking along the same lines as me and asked if they could be more dangerous when pregnant. Just as our guide told us that was the case, the driver switched on the engine, which turned over for about 20 seconds before growling into life.

This clearly spooked the herd. The senior lady in charge turned around and started trumpeting, causing the others to turn and follow her lead as they began to walk towards us.

They then lined up very close to the car and started behaving more and more aggressively, trumpeting loudly. I began to get a bit worried at this point. Our guide did too, it seemed. He held out his hand towards them - I couldn't help thinking that doing so was unlikely to do much good if things turned uglier. The outstretched hand certainly didn't seem to calm things down at all.

The trumpeting got louder and they moved closer towards the Land Rover. Mrs Saul ducked down closer to the cab and I did the same, shouting at the driver to drive off. The guide was saying the same thing to him in Sinhala. He duly drove off, but promtly stopped again after only a few metres, grinning back at me from the front cab.

At this point the herd was starting to march up to us in a line, trumpeting loudly and generally making it clear we were not welcome.

I screamed at the driver to go and so did the guide. We moved off slowly, with me wishing the 35 year old Defender had been designed to go a little bit quicker.

I have to admit that I was pretty scared. For obvious reasons I don't have much experience with elephants, but had expected the guide to know what was what. The guide seemed pretty scared as well, which suggested that the whole experience had been a bit unnerving for him as well.

Were we in any danger? I've really no idea, but having several elephants walking quickly towards you, trumpeting and stamping their feet was quite an experience. I wish I'd been able to video it all - the trumpeting is loud!

The rest of the trip was uneventful, though we did pass the same herd on the way back, at a much safe distance this time.

You can see some more pics from our tip, all courtesy of Mrs Saul, here.

( Apr 27 2008, 10:55:29 PM GST ) Permalink Comments [1]

Why not serve it in a thimble?

I can imagine how the conversation went in the boardroom at the French Bottled Water Company...

CEO - Zut alors, we need to find a way to make more money!

Enterprising Marketing Man - Bof! Why not simply sell smaller bottles for the same price?

CEO - Sacre Bleu! Noone will accept that! Why would anyone keep buying our water if we got rid of the 330ml bottle and replaced it with something smaller and charge the same outraaaageous price?

EMM - Why not give it a go, mon brave?

And, behold, it works - everyone trapped in a hotel room who wants something fizzy and watery that isn't beer, buys the teeny weeny bottles.

Why not take it one stage further and sell it in thimbles, for twice the price?

Another great business - the teeny weeny bottles of ketchup and mayonnaise that appear with room service these days. Gone are the little pots, filled with a reasonable portion from one big bottle, in are the 'use once' pepper pot sized containers. Average utilisation of contents of said teeny weeny bottles must be about 10%. An entire ketchup making industry based on the fact that the majority of your product simply get thrown away.

( Apr 27 2008, 06:41:30 PM GST ) Permalink Comments [0]

Istanbul again

After a couple of short trips and a nice few days off in Sri Lanka, work travel is starting up again.

Istanbul today, Ankara day trip tomorrow, then back home to Dubai on Weds. Off to Cairo next week, Oman the week after and a possible Croatia visit at the beginning of May.

Istanbul seemed incredibly exotic the first time I came - this is my fifth or sixth visit at least, so it's starting to be part of the normal quarterly trek. I always enjoy it though and get kept busy by the local team. It looks like we're near to closing a couple of good deals that will give us some good local references, rewarding the legwork done so far.

This time I'm in the Hyatt Regency, courtesy of Sun's excellent corporate rate. An early arrival meant my room wasn't ready, so I was upgraded to a bigger room overlooking the Bosphorous. The desk is positioned such that my back is facing this wonderful view, so Sun shareholders don't need to worry - I have been adding value moving forward all afternoon, with no distractions distracting from my value add moving forward.

I'm going to force myself to use the hotel gym. After making efforts to keep the old suit trousers fitting nicely I've become a bit lazy again recently, with the proximity of freshly baked cookies right next to the checkout at my local Spinneys not helping the situation... Time to get back into (reasonably) good habits.

( Apr 27 2008, 06:00:52 PM GST ) Permalink Comments [0]

The Economist on where I live

This week's copy of the Economist has a nice cover photo featuring some of the skyscrapers that can be seen in the region.

I'm a bit disappointed - although you can see the Emirates Towers, you can't see the UP Tower, where we used to live. The UP's right next to Emirates Towers and is a nicer looking building than some of the others that are featured.

Still, having your former next door neighbours' building on the cover of the Economist is still pretty cool.

Photo courtesy of The Economist.

Pop over here to see the view from the top of our new neighbouring mega tower.

( Apr 27 2008, 02:49:56 PM GST ) Permalink Comments [0]

Thursday April 24, 2008

Web 2.0ey Googley mashuppy serendipityiousness 3.0

I had a quick play with Google Earth today and typed in 'sweihan' for fun, Sweihan being an area we've done two trips to recently.

Sweihan duly appeared and I noticed that someone had associated a video with the location in Google Earth. Clicking launched a YouTube video - looking closely I recognised a stylish and particularly well driven Jeep Wrangler. Mine! It turned out that the video had been taken by Dimitry, who'd been on the first trip we'd done and had posted a short video onto YouTube. Cool!

Here's the vid -