Chris Saul's Blog

Tuesday May 06, 2008

Taxi chat

'Yes sayr, Cairo too much traffic. London too much traffic?'

'Yes, but I think drivers in London are a bit more polite.'

'Yes sir. British system for traffic. Egypt has also a system...'

Driver sighs as hotel car is nearly crushed between two suicidal Cairo taxis.

'...but Egypt system something quite different I think.'

Sunday April 27, 2008

Why not serve it in a thimble?

I can imagine how the conversation went in the boardroom at the French Bottled Water Company...

CEO - Zut alors, we need to find a way to make more money!

Enterprising Marketing Man - Bof! Why not simply sell smaller bottles for the same price?

CEO - Sacre Bleu! Noone will accept that! Why would anyone keep buying our water if we got rid of the 330ml bottle and replaced it with something smaller and charge the same outraaaageous price?

EMM - Why not give it a go, mon brave?

And, behold, it works - everyone trapped in a hotel room who wants something fizzy and watery that isn't beer, buys the teeny weeny bottles.

Why not take it one stage further and sell it in thimbles, for twice the price?

Another great business - the teeny weeny bottles of ketchup and mayonnaise that appear with room service these days. Gone are the little pots, filled with a reasonable portion from one big bottle, in are the 'use once' pepper pot sized containers. Average utilisation of contents of said teeny weeny bottles must be about 10%. An entire ketchup making industry based on the fact that the majority of your product simply get thrown away.

Istanbul again

After a couple of short trips and a nice few days off in Sri Lanka, work travel is starting up again.

Istanbul today, Ankara day trip tomorrow, then back home to Dubai on Weds. Off to Cairo next week, Oman the week after and a possible Croatia visit at the beginning of May.

Istanbul seemed incredibly exotic the first time I came - this is my fifth or sixth visit at least, so it's starting to be part of the normal quarterly trek. I always enjoy it though and get kept busy by the local team. It looks like we're near to closing a couple of good deals that will give us some good local references, rewarding the legwork done so far.

This time I'm in the Hyatt Regency, courtesy of Sun's excellent corporate rate. An early arrival meant my room wasn't ready, so I was upgraded to a bigger room overlooking the Bosphorous. The desk is positioned such that my back is facing this wonderful view, so Sun shareholders don't need to worry - I have been adding value moving forward all afternoon, with no distractions distracting from my value add moving forward.

I'm going to force myself to use the hotel gym. After making efforts to keep the old suit trousers fitting nicely I've become a bit lazy again recently, with the proximity of freshly baked cookies right next to the checkout at my local Spinneys not helping the situation... Time to get back into (reasonably) good habits.

Monday March 24, 2008

Kuwait Today

Kuwait for one night - my second visit and first time back for four years.

Where Dubai has a more European feel, Kuwait City, like Riyadh, has more of America in its styling. The arrivals hall offers every fast food known to man, with most Westerners I saw being US military or oil worker types. Short, army haircuts mix with long dreads - goatees are in abundance, doublechins common and blue jeans with ice-white trainers near ubiquitous.

Dubai has motorways, Kuwait has freeways - the kerplunk of road sections, the generous turns and the general sprawl of buildings reminds me of my journey from San Francisco airport down 101 to Sun's Menlo Park campus. But instead of a Somali, Sikh or Russian driver, I have an Egyptian at the wheel for whom the concepts of stopping distance and lane discipline are as alien as wearing a seatbelt.

Four years ago, the Chevrolet Caprice was everywhere, slightly sagging at both ends, bouncing through the beige like a mattress on wheels - but as in Saudi, smaller European and Japanese models now seem to be driving it away from its natural habitat. Larger American species are still out in force. Five child families are shipped around in Suburbans, Tahoes and Escalades, while smaller, nimbler Land Cruisers and Pathfinders edge their way around their heavy, lumbering competition.

The US influence, in terms of cars and appearances and in contrast to other Gulf states, interests me

Monday March 10, 2008

Travelympics - definitely off the team

Despite a winning last minute sprint, I am definitely off Mike Belch's Travelympics Team.

My flight to Zagreb last week was cancelled and I was moved to another flight, losing my business class seat.

The flight to Bucharest went smoothly, but then disaster struck. After a couple of years using e-tickets, this trip was all on a paper ticket, which managed to get lost somewhere down the line despite my usual care and attention when it comes to these things. No problem, I thought, as I rocked up to catch my business class seated flight to Athens from Bucharest. Problems there were...

Although I was in the system, I couldn't get my seat without my slip of paper. Lots of 'discussions' later, it became clear the only way I'd get on the flight was if I bought a new ticket. I duly bought an economy seat, leaving my travel agent the task of getting a refund on the other seat. The comment from the airline rep was quite funny - 'don't worry sir, you can simply use that business class one again once you've found your ticket and need to fly from Bucharest to Athens again'. I can't see that happening in a long time.

In Athens I had to go to the Emirates office to get a new ticked issued. This was an e-ticket, which meant I could collect it at the airport - hooray! Paid E33 at the aiport as punishment for losing my ticket and was rewarded with a last minute sprint to the finish with an upgrade to business class.

How did people manage to navigate the world with paper tickets before? I dread to think how many people ended up stranded simply because a slip of paper got left behind in a hotel room or taken by mistake at the gate.

ps I have no idea why I had business class seats for two legs of this journey. Sun is resolutely economy only, unless you're lucky enough to get a free upgrade. We do get to keep our miles for our own use though.

Tuesday March 04, 2008

The mysterious omelette management process

Why do some hotels offer omelettes 24x7 when others restrict them to 'breakfast'?

After travelling for most of the day and evening, I usually fancy something light - an omelette usually fits the bill. Some hotels will serve them, some won't, with those that don't never quite explaining why.

This evening I was lucky - the room service chap who brought me my omelette at 2330 told me that whilst he was happy to make it, I shouldn't always expect one after midday, as it was a management decision not to serve them. I asked what the reasoning behind this management decision was and he told me he didn't know and that he didn't want to risk his job by asking why. I think something may have been a bit lost in translation, as asking why you can't serve omelettes after midday shouldn't really be a sacking offence - unless there is some secret EU omelette conspiracy going on. Have I inadvertently stumbled on a dark hospitality industry secret that has been kept hidden for years?

In the States I was once told I couldn't have an omelette as the ingredients had been - wait for it - 'moved to another fridge'. I asked for them to be moved back to the original fridge and duly got my omelette twenty minutes later.

In Slovakia the phone was slammed down on me when I called room service and asked for an omelette. My request for two eggs beaten with a dash of milk and fried in a pan nearly made it past security, only to be found out for what it was at the last minute - a pathetic omelette subterfuge.

In the Middle East you can have an omelette whenever you want one...

Why is it not allowed in some places and allowed in others? I don't understand why you can usually order a steak and chips at three in the morning, but not an omelette.

I demand answers.

Monday March 03, 2008

Travelympics failure

I fell at the first hurdle today. Mike's travelympics committee would have struck me from the team.

No upgrade to Vienna and someone digging his knees into the back of my chair, prodding the touchscreen constantly and turning my seat into a mini catapult every time he got up, grabbing onto the headrest in an apparent attempt to ping me forward into business class. I stayed remarkably calm for a change.

The flight onto Zagreb was cancelled, but I did get onto the next flight out three hours later, meaning a total of seven hours waiting in the lounge - at least I got an upgrade on this section, making the wait more bearable and the short one hour hop a bit more comfy.

Not a complete disaster, but a long day. After tomorrow's meeting in Zagreb I fly to Bucharest in the evening and then on to Athens on Tuesday evening, returning back to Dubai on Thursday. On Sunday I'm off to Algiers, Tunis on the Weds and back home again on Thursday. Sunday off to Doha, back on Monday, then Kuwait the following Monday, back on the Tuesday.

My two weeks' working from home are being paid for in full...

It should be a good couple of weeks though - lots of customer and partner meetings in areas with huge potential, plus the chance to dust off my French and murder the language of Moliere, Racine, Corneille and Camuus as I grind through my accented explanations of Sun's desktop solutions, something I always enjoy.

Wednesday February 13, 2008

Transaction cancelled

Back home to Dubai from Jo'burg, ready to give my bank a rocket for blocking some simple transactions on my cards. Both my HSBC visa and my Citibank were blocked at one point or another during this trip. No call from HSBC to check where I am and only a belated call from Citibank after I'd been obliged to use another card. Irritating!

Sunday February 03, 2008

Back home

Half way through the trek back to Dubai after this week's training. I'm pleased to report that the return journey was nicer than the one here in terms of bellowing security staff, although a marked lack of 'please' and 'thank yous'
is still in evidence.

I was selected for 'random' security screening at San Francisco. I'm more than happy to be double checked, considering the route I am taking, but I wish they wouldn't pretend that calling me aside is 'random' when it blatantly isn't!

Monday January 28, 2008

Welcome to the US, scumbag

Let me make it clear from the outset that this post is not an anti-American rant. If I were anti-American, I wouldn't be working for the company I work for, or travelling to the US in the first place. What this post discusses is the impression made upon visitors to the US, when this kind of thing happens. In my experience, this does not happen when people arrive in the UK, or other countries equally concerned and affected by the current 'terror' situation. It is totally unnecessary and does nothing to improve the US' standing in other people's eyes, at a time when some positive PR would doubtless be a rather good thing.

Today's arrival at JFK was the most unwelcoming and downright insulting I have ever experienced on coming here.

On leaving the plane we were told that immigration officers would be checking passports. Fair enough, although I don't see what the point of this is when we're all going to be going through a 'proper' immigration check later anyway. Never mind, somebody supposedly knows what they are doing and thinks these checks worthwhile.

Posters from the US immigration control plastered around JFK claim that the organisation pledges to greet people cordially and explain processes clearly. Sadly the two officers who 'greeted' me and everyone else did neither.

Their supposed welcome made me feel as if I were a prisoner, disembarking from some kind of airborne prison transport vehicle, as opposed to a perfectly legitimate visitor to the US. I expect other people felt the same way. I also expect that US citizens probably felt even more annoyed than me, as everyone was treated with the same disrespect.

Officers Mo Ron and Half Wit stood at the end of the gate, checking passports. Whilst doing this we were subjected to loud shouts of 'get in line', 'form two queues', 'come on so we can get this done' and other semi-coherent, shouted grunting. There was no 'please' and no 'thank you' and their tone was distinctly condescending. There were no efforts to speak in clear English, despite the fact that it was English was not the first language of the majority of the passengers getting off the plane. I'm a native English speaker and I found it hard to understand what they were saying half the time.

After my passport had been examined and I'd been grunted at, I stood near the end of the gate, waiting for my colleague. At this point the officers seemed either to give up checking people, or had found someone they were looking for, as they were walking towards me with someone who had been sitting near me walking next to them. They were talking away at him in a hostile manner, again making no effort to speak clearly to someone who was clearly having difficulty understanding them. "Dintyouhearmesayyougottagetyawpassportout!??"

When they saw me standing at the end of the gate, one of them grunted at me loudly, saying something I failed to understand, not being fluent in New Yoik immigration officer grunt-speak. I asked him politely to repeat himself.

"Gowalkdownthecorridor, donstandthere!" was the shouted response.

"I'm just waiting for my colleague - he's right behind you", I replied.

"Walkdownthecorridernow! I told you to walk down the corridor!".

I shrugged and walked slowly down the corridor.

"Man see a man in uniform he supposed to do what that man say. I say it five times already, walk down the corridor but he don' do it!", went the general discussion behind me, obviously intended for my benefit.

What is the point of making people like this the 'face' of the US? Being secure doesn't mean shouting at people, being rude, being aggressive and being unwelcoming.

Palo Alto for the week

I have just arrived in Palo Alto, ready for a week's well deserved training in Sun's Menlo Park campus, staying in the Sheraton.

The marathon trek wasn't too bad and went more quickly thanks to having a colleague from Sun Dubai travelling the same route. The first time I came this way from Dubai I flew with Lufthansa the whole way via Frankfurt, with no in-flight entertainment, no iPod, jammed in the middle aisle, an experience it's not hard to improve on.

Minor irritations were the guy next to me on the Emirates flight from Dubai to New York and the stewardess on the United flight to San Francisco. Major irritations I will write about in another post.

Every twenty minutes after our 0230 take off, the chap next to me on the Emirates flight would shift position, delivering me a massive jab to the ribs in the process, making sleep impossible. After an hour of this I woke him up and politely asked him not to poke me in the ribs every twenty minutes, although I appreciated he was probably doing it accidentally in his sleep. He apologised and managed not to do it again. Whilst I was pleased that he didn't, I did wonder why he was doing it in the first place? Did he know he was elbowing me? If he'd been doing it accidentally, then surely it would have continued? Odd.

The stewardess on the flight from New York seemed to conform to all the stereotypes of bad service I've encountered on US flights, the overriding impression being that as a passenger in economy you are an irritation for the cabin crew and are simply to be tolerated for the duration of the flight. I'm always lead to believe that America is such a customer focused, service lead kind of place, so it always surprises me when I find exactly the opposite.

Relating the story of how she annoyed me sounds a bit petty written down here now, so I won't go into the details of how a simple misunderstanding over a glass with ice ended up with me fuming. Suffice it to say that it was totally unavoidable and bloody irritating.

Oh dear, this is a grumpy post. I'll leave on a high note - I'm really looking forward to the training I'll be on this week, particularly as I'll be meeting lots of people I either only know via email or who I've only had the chance to meet once or twice before.

Monday January 21, 2008

Sana'a part two

My trip to Sana'a last week was probably the most interesting I've had for a while.

The full set of pictures is here, but here is a subset.

As mentioned in my earlier post, all the buildings stick to similar 'design rules', meaning even newer, cheaply constructed places fit in.

Here's a 'new old' set of shops.

And here's a building in the Old Town. A much older Old Town than the Old Town I live in!

Lunch was delicious. We started off like this -

I was given a plate and cutlery in the end as I wasn't managing very well eating with my fingers directly off the table. The side dishes in particular were excellent and included various dips and sauces I've never eaten before. I wish I could describe what went into them but I honestly have no idea. The bread was particularly impressive - basically a huge naan bread that's just folded up and put on the table, rather like a scrunched up bread table cloth.

After lunch.

Pudding was some kind of flaky cakey thing with local honey and bananas. I think I consumed more sugar in one day than I usually would in a month.

As expected, I saw lots of people chewing qat all over the place, but wasn't able to get a picture of anyone with their cheeks full of leaves. Bits of qat were everywhere, including the stairs to our restaurant.

Whilst the traffic wasn't bad, driving was a bit erratic for my taste.

Sadly I was only there for one day and had to leave the next morning, after being woken up at at 6am by the call to prayer and kids' chanting from the school next door to the Movenpick I was staying in. I've never been woken up to people shouting 'Long Live Yemen' before.

Leaving was quite exciting - I literally had to fight my way through the first baggage x-ray machine, jumping over people's bags and slipping between people who were pushing and shoving each other to get through. At the Emirates check-in a fist fight broke out in the group of 50 or so Chinese labourers who were flying to Dubai. I've never seen anything like it.

Can't wait to go back.

Wednesday January 16, 2008

The Dirtiest Hotel in Britain

I was in stitches today after a friend forwarded me this news.

I can't believe the good old Nanford (to be pronounced in a gruff, scary voice) has moved up from number 2 last year to number 1 as the dirtiest hotel in Britain. How can you not clean up your act, so to speak, after being so publicly named and shamed? Brilliant.

After finishing at Keble I stayed at The Nanford two or three times when coming back to see friends who were still studying. I found it by accident - I can't remember if I just knocked on the door or found it in the phone book, but it was very cheap and fitted my budget.

Even ten years ago it was, quite frankly, awful. But cheap. Not quite that awful for the cheapness to be worth it though, on reflection.

The first time I stayed there was after Keble Ball in 1998. I'd booked a room with a double bed by mistake, having asked for a double instead of a twin, not knowing much hotel lingo back then. The landlord, who was probably in his late thirties and who matched the comments made in , looked at me and my friend very oddly when we both turned up. I always got the impression that he didn't really want to be there and had inherited the place somehow and decided to stay on.

San'aa

I'm in San'aa for one night - finally, after more than five years in the Middle East, I have made it to Yemen.

I'll post some pictures later, but here are some first impressions.

- The men you see on the street are mostly wearing traditional dress: a thobe with Western style jacket, dagger and belt and Yemeni style headscarf. It's quite fun to see a mobile phone handing on the belt, next to a dagger.

- The buildings, including newer ones, are still decorated in the traditional style. This means that even lower cost buildings fit in and look better than they would elsewhere.

- Toyota is king, with many vintage Land Cruisers grinding through traffic.

- Driving styles are interesting.

- You can see lots of people chewing qat from the early afternoon, one cheek balooned out with the leaves.

- No guns. Apparently you're not allowed to walk around with your gun in San'aa any more. Up to a year ago, most men carried their AK47 around with them.

I spent today with two excellent customers, having exactly the same discussions I would with sophisticated European customers, but the faces and sites outside were quite new to me, like nothing I've seen so far in this part of the world.

We had a delicious lunch with various dishes I've never seen before and which were delicious. I felt a bit wary not having a knife and fork and eating straight off the table, but I was given a plate and cutlery, which made it a lot easier to feed myself. My fingers don't bend enough to be able to break off bread, dip it in a sauce or pick off a piece of meat.

Monday December 10, 2007

Exciting luggage news

My trusty wheely suitcase has served me well for three years, carrying my underpants across the world, from San Fran to Tashkent, Warsaw to Addis Abbaba and Heathrow to Milton Keynes.

Lately though, it's been frowned at by check-in staff for its size, its wheels have started to seize up and it's begun to look a bit tatty, so I decided it was time for a change.

What did I want in the case that was to replace it? Well, I'm a professional traveller who wants value without sacrificing performance. I needed designers who had applied this philosophy to every piece in their collection, including new business and lifestyle silhouettes designed to enhance both my trips and my trade.

I popped into Jashanmal in Sprawl of the Emirates and got a nice new Victorinox bag for 25% off.

It's pretty cool - super lightweight, easy to wheely along and with a nice suit carrier thing built into it. It also seems to have the same capacity as my old one, but looks smaller - something that will be particularly useful when trying to persuade the check-in staff at Emirates in Vienna that it's going to be carry on luggage. (Emirates staff elsewhere don't seem to mind, but their Viennese colleagues always seem fanatical about the subject).

The only problem is that my laptop bag keeps falling off the top of it. My old bag's handle had two poles, providing a nice platform on which another bag could nestle. This bag has one central pole, causing anything on top to lost its balance. I could strap the laptop bag on lower down, but that won't be so practical.

There is, of course, another answer - buy a new laptop bag! As Mrs Saul wisely pointed out, my current laptop bag has lots of space, which apparently means I just fill it up with rubbish and make it too heavy. I will be rushing down to Jashanmal this weekend to see if I can find a smaller one that matches and is designed to integrate with the case, giving me two 'luggage solutions' - and doubtless yet another 'lifestyle silouhette' to enhance both my trips and my trade.

I'm not usually one for getting excited about spending cash on this kind of thing, but for the first time in my life I feel I can splash out on some cool luggage. No plans to emulate Mr Aaron however, with his huge collection of bags of varying capacity, wheel count and side pocket for every possible trip length and type.