Chris Saul's Blog

Monday August 18, 2008

Single point of failure

During Mrs Saul's absence I've been pretty good at cooking for myself rather than ordering takeaway.

Tonight was different - my planned trip to our favourite Indian grill to enjoy their delicious mutton seekh kebabs was put on hold due to an unexpected conf call in the middle of the evening. Since I was all fired up for some kebab deliciousness, I ordered a takeaway instead.

There seems to be a common theme amongst Dubai's resturants when it comes to deliveries. Even if the restraurant relies on deliveries for most of its trade, the same business plan is always in place. I find it completely baffling.

1. Always make sure the guy on the phone is the least able to communicate in any language. It goes without saying that the person you entrust with a large portion of your revenue should be the most junior and incompetent member of your staff.

2. Make sure that the customer tells at least three different people what his location is. Make sure that whoever's talking to the customer doesn't write any useful location information down, however. Simply shout 'go left at circle?' or 'signal straight?' at random intervals, then pass the phone to someone else with no prior warning.

3. What little location information that has been gleaned from the customer should be kept a secret from the delivery boy (actually a middle-aged man with a moustache who has not been a boy for thirty years or so). This should mean that the delivery boy has to call the customer whilst driving his motorbike, repeating the entire location discussion whilst he drives past each exit he needs to take.

4. Make sure something's missing or wrong in the order. (No mutton kebabs for me - chicken instead. Poor me).

5. Make sure the delivery boy has no change whatsoever, apart from a torn 5Dh note stuck together with sellotape.

This grill makes fantastic food. It is truly first class and is extremely good value for money. Sadly, despite having been in business since 1971, they still haven't cracked the delivery side of their business!

Non-Voice of Britannia

Most Pakistani taxi drivers here have their radios tuned to one of two AM stations, I'd noticed.

I finally asked a driver which stations they were, expecting them to be stations broadcasting out of the Pakistan. It turns out that one is Voice of America's Urdu service, the other is the BBC's Urdu offering.

Which is best? The BBC seems to be preferred, based on a poll of two or three drivers. Not very scientific, I know, but I am obviously somewhat biased. Voice of America's channel has more lighthearted stuff, but the BBC's news and other content is trusted more.

But! Voice of America broadcasts 12 hours a day, whilst the BBC only manages a one hour broadcast between 1900 and 2000.

I know that World Service broadcasts have been massively cut back in recent times, cost and the internet being cited as reasons for this. I know too that the BBC have an excellent online presence in many languages.

That said, I can't help but wonder how radio cutbacks will affect British interests in the years to come.

The average Czech who might have enjoyed the World Service ten years ago has ample access to online content from the BBC.

AM and SW radio broadcasts in Urdu, however, are obviously not targeted at people sitting in front of their Apple Macs looking at the BBC News' Urdu articles. If the US think it's worth broadcasting an Urdu service 12 hours a day, they clearly think there's an audience for the message that's being sent out.

I suppose the bigger picture here is whether Britain wants to invest time and resources to make its voice heard. The simple answer seems to be that unless the recipient is online, it doesn't. Does that matter? I expect that will become clear in twenty years' time.