This is a classic case of where men and women differ. During the course of this week, I attended a day-long staff meeting, a two-day Sun Leadership Conference, and then a one-day functional leadership conference. Tomorrow, I have another day-long meeting, since we're being cost conservative while everyone is in town. At the same time, I was planning a significant layoff of talented and gifted learning professionals. Since Sun has gone through a number of layoffs over the last five years, before I was here, these hurt. To get to this level of excellence in a Fortune 200 company, and especially at Sun, you need to have incredible smarts, drive, innovation, and respect for others. These learning professionals had that and more, and I will miss them dearly.

But we have to let some of these talented people go, because we owe our shareholders the confidence that their investment is safe with us. So as a manager, how do you deal with this awful paradox? My choice has been to communicate the news to my own staff as compassionately and with as much explanation of "why?" as possible. This isn't always easy, as we live in a litigious society, and the whispering solid advice of the legal department is not far away. So we feel constrained from expressing our true emotions, and the pain and human connection we wish to convey in saying good-bye.

After it's done, we as managers need to take care of ourselves. I worked at an aerospace company once that was accustomed to significant swings in employment, and went through yet another RIF. On one night, two managers died from heart attacks, possibly from the strain of the RIF notifications they had delivered that day. The life of an executive is not for sissies, to steal and paraphrase from Bette Davis.

So what do we do to take care of ourselves, selfish as that may seem at the moment? Guys, I'd love to hear from you. But personally, I think it's time for a new pair of shoes. I hear Nordstrom's has a sale going on, which you can't tell from their web site. But if I were in a really self-indulgent mood, I would buy these Sigerson Morrison flats. Way beyond my price range, but nice to fantasize about.

Now how many guys would buy shoes to deal with a bad week?  Maybe a few, and dear god, I love them.  But women, when they talk behind men's backs, they get that shoes are therapeutic.  A woman I didn't even know this week, at the Leadership Conference, told me about the Nordstrom's sale, and was practically drooling discussing some zebra-striped shoes.  And she's a cheetah girl.  Now I'm drooling.  Pavlovian shoe response.  Women get it.

Will shoes make this loss of great people better?  No. But it will help me move on.  And Sun is a company worth keeping.  For you, and for me.  So if you're from outside Sun, we've got some great people you ought to consider hiring.  They're the best of the best.  If you're inside Sun, and you're a woman, buy some shoes.  If you're a guy, sorry, but you're on your own this one time ...