POTATOES

Girl Potato and a Boy Potato had 'eyes' for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little 'sweet potato,' which they named 'YAM.'  Of course they wanted the best for her.

When it was time, they told YAM about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting 'half-baked,' so she wouldn't get accidentally 'mashed,' and get a bad name for herself like "HOT POTATO,' and end up with a bunch of 'TATER TOTS.'

YAM said not to worry, no SPUD would get her into the 'SACK' and make a 'ROTTEN POTATO' out of her! But on the other hand, she wouldn't stay home and become a COUCH POTATO either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her SHOESTRING cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told YAM to watch out for the 'hard-boiled' guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the FRENCH FRIES. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get 'SCALLOPED.'

YAM said, she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class YUKON GOLDS, or the ones from the others side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say 'FRITO LAYS.'

Mr. Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (That's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the CHIPS. She worked on her tan (her 'potato skins' turning a nice 'HASH BROWN') yet still graduated with honors. But in spite of all they did for her, one day YAM came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

"TOM BROKAW !?!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told YAM she couldn't possibly marry that 'flake' Tom Brokaw because he's just................ A COMMON TATER.

March 10, 2005 09:28 AM EST Permalink