There are always so many choices to make. Every day. Every email you get. Every phone call you take (or don't take for that matter). Every conversation with your boss, your co-workers, your family and friends. None of this is revelatory, I'm sure. The reason I mention it, though, is that you really get to know somebody more based on the choices they make than by any other means.
Some people really don't spend a lot of time fretting over how the choices they make are perceived by others. On the other end of that spectrum is... well... me, quite frankly.
For as long as I can remember, I've always been overly conscious of how choices I make or things I say or do (or don't do) may affect those around me or how they may be perceived. As I got older, I kept telling myself that perhaps I should worry less about those things and worry more about making choices that were right for me without as much regard for whether or not those choices would be looked upon favorably by others.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I haven't been able to veer much from that state of being overly self-conscious despite all those years of trying to convince myself that it's OK to make "selfish" decisions on occasion. I say "unfortunately" because I've spent a good number of years getting to the point in my career where I am today, where perhaps I could have achieved this in far less time had I been a more aggressive advocate for myself.
On the other hand, though, I say "fortunately" for perhaps the very same reason -- that I am not only overly self-conscious, but am also overly *conscious*. I seem to have no choice but to over-analyze and dissect everything that everybody else says and does. What I see on a regular basis makes me wonder what would happen if *I* had said or done what this other person just said or did.
I suppose I'll never get beyond the over-analyzing, overly self-conscious persona that I've grown up with. At the end of the day, at least I decide that I can live with myself. That's about all I can hope for.
