I've been reading the book Crucial Conversations (see the related web site for more info). It's about how to carry on a fruitful conversation when that conversation gets difficult.
Why is this relevant to the topic of usability?
In my experience, most usability folks work with folks in other disciplines. And of course those folks approach the shared project in very different ways. This, almost inevitably, leads to conflict. And the best way to deal with that conflict is to learn to deal with the conversations fruitfully.
I enjoyed this book a lot, because it seemed to offer a variety of good advice about dealing with these "crucial conversations" in a form that I think I can use.
Here is a diagram I drew for myself of the content of the book. I've added my own interpretations in places, and so a diagram you make after reading the book may be quite different from mine!
As wtih all such "self help" books, the hard part is going to be to put the ideas into practice. This is why I took the time to make the diagram... so help internalize some of the ideas and to give myself a cheat sheet. Before going into a meeting I can look at one part of the diagram and say "this is the skill I will practice today".
For me, personally, the thing I found most useful was a strategy for when I feel unsafe in a conversation. The idea they suggest is to override the stories I am telling myself about the motivations of the other people and present my side of the story... lead with facts, then present my interpretation of those facts. This sounds obvious, but it is actually remarkably hard to do in the heat of the moment.