Saturday morning, my youngest daughter looked at me and said "dada." My heart skidded to a halt and a smile of smiles found my lips. We all clapped and cheered. Now we just need to work on "mama."

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Published: (2006-03-13 12:52:04.0)

Another storm system came through the Bay Area yesterday. The clouds were low and hugging the hilltops by my house, and the occasional break would allow sunbeams to light up sections of the hills. A small cloud was particularly low, and my daughter said "Look daddy a puff of smoke." "Hmmm yeah. That's actually a cloud." I replied. She was fascinated. Earlier she had wanted to go to top of the hills to see the cows. I explained that the hills were too steep and muddy. She then said "if we could go up there we could touch the cloud." "Yep, we sure could" I smiled. She was silent for a moment and kept staring at the cloud. Suddenly she told me "we could ride the moon up to the top of the hill. But it would have to be this shape" and she made a shape with her hands. "Oh does she have to be full?" I asked. She shook her head "no it has to be this shape" and she tried to make a half moon shape. "Oh. Why does it have to be that shape?" "So we can sit on her and not fall off. She would come down and we would sit on her and she would take us to the top of the hill so we could touch the cloud" she patiently explained. "Yep I think that would work" I nodded seriously to her. She nodded in return and went back to staring at the cloud.

» Tag:Parenting, Daughters

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Published: (2006-01-31 15:31:49.0)

My oldest daughter is 3 years old, and I love having conversations with her. I have no idea what she will say, but I'm sure I'll be surprised.

Conversation #1
Daughter: I am the boss.
Mommy: No, you are not the boss. Mommy and Daddy are the boss. When you grow up and move out of the house you can be the boss.
Daughter: [pauses to think this over] When you Mommy and Daddy are old and have grey hair, I will be the boss.
Me: [stifles a giggle] Sure honey, as long as you change my Depends, you can be the boss.

Conversation #2 (while driving home from school)
Daughter: [staring out the window] Daddy, the moon is following us!
Me: [smiling] Oh yeah? You think so?
Daughter: [nods while staring at the moon] When we stop at the light, she says "She's stopped. She's round. She likes to be round."
Me: Yeah I think you're right.

Conversation #3 (while driving home from school again)
Me: Look sweety there's a rainbow.
Daughter: It has pink!
Me: [As the sun sets the rainbow disappears] Where did the rainbow go?
Daughter: I don't know
Me: Did you put it in your pocket?
Daughter: [smiling, checks her pocket] No it's not in my pocket.
Me: [Rainbow reappears] There it is, way up in the hills by the cows.
Daughter: [gazes for a moment] The rainbow doesn't like cows.
Me: Really? Why not?
Daughter: Because it is shy. So it will go way way up into the hills to hide.
Me: [As usual, never saw this coming] Oh ...

» Tag:Parenting

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Published: (2006-01-19 09:09:08.0)

Reading the article on how children are moved from home to home via an underground network was tough. The allegations against the Schmitzes are horrifying. But when I got to the "Disrupted Adoptions" section, there was such a strong emotional reaction I had to bite my lip to keep from yelling. Considering my two daughters are from China, this quote in particular elicted a cold fury:

"Deslauriers, Tom Schmitz's attorney, says his client took in two Chinese children unwanted by the adoptive father - an attorney - who said they were not smart enough."

I cannot fathom how a father could simply abandon his children ... @#$%@# !!!!!

» Tag: Adoption

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Published: (2006-01-18 14:20:15.0)

My oldest daughter has a knack for saying something that will absolutely leave me flustered and scrambling for a response. Take the other night for instance, when she was playing dress up in her new princess outfits. "Ok I am a princess" she tells me. "Yes you are, a very pretty one" I respond. "Ok you are the prince." "Sure" I say with a laugh. Then she smiles very sweetly and bats her eyes, then asks "Will you marry me?" "Wha ... er ... um ..." I sputtered. Gah! At least my wife enjoyed it.

Tonight, while brushing her teeth, she paused and told me she loved me. "I love you sweety" I responded. Then came "I am a dream in your heart." You could hear the air exhaling from my lungs - but there weren't any words. I needed a moment to collect myself. "Yes, you are a dream in my heart. You're a dream come true" I managed to sputter out. She smiled and went back to brushing her teeth. I wondered if anyone could hear my heart pounding. My face felt flush.

Lucky, and grateful I am.

» Tag:Parenting

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Published: (2006-01-10 06:00:00.0)

My 3 year old daughter, upon seeing a bruise on my arm, and in a very serious tone, asked me "Dude, what happened to your arm?"

» Tag:Parenting

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Published: (2005-10-26 11:52:40.0)

My daughter wanted to help me water the garden, so I handed her the hose and told her where to spray. I turned around to survey the yard, and when I turned back she was intently focused on spraying her foot. "Um sweety why are you spraying your foot?" I asked. In a very matter of fact tone, and not bothering to stop to look up, she replied "my big toe is thirsty." After a moment to consider this, all I could muster was an "oh." The logic of children is a beautiful thing.

» Tag: Parenting

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Published: (2005-07-28 10:32:27.0)

While traveling to The City in the car (radio on) yesterday, my daughter asked "is this Daddy's music?" "Yes it is" we replied. She then asked us to turn it up. Then my wife asked "do you like Daddy's music?" Pause. "Yes. Its cool." I believe that is all the evidence and testimony I need your honor. I rest my case.

» Tag: Parenting

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Published: (2005-07-25 14:23:17.0)

The title is in a sarcastic tone in regards to my daughter. She woke up again last night, crying and telling us she had a bad dream. Nothing will wake you up quicker than your child's sudden screaming in the middle of the night. You'll find yourself in their room before you are really aware of what you are doing.

So where do the notions of monsters come from? I was startled when my daughter started to talk about them, because I had never mentioned them. A revelation came when we saw the cover art for Where the Wild Things Are, my daughter pointed and told me the name of the book. I raised an eyebrow and asked "how do you know about that? Do you read that at school?" She nodded yes. That explained alot.

On that topic, there's an interview with the book's creator available on NPR, "A Conversation with Maurice Sendak." His favorite subject? "Scaring children." From my point of view, he's got that down pat. Bastard ( *shakes fist and smiles ruefully* ). Also it looks like they are making a movie out of the book, directed by Spike Jonze. Unfortunately information is thin on the project.

And lastly, via Drawn! The Illustration Blog comes Monster Engine, which sets out to answer the question, "What would a child's drawings look like if painted realistically?" I have to say the results are pretty freakin' scary. Now I am going to have nightmares.

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Published: (2005-06-06 10:22:29.0)

Today is my daughter's Gotcha Day. Two years ago in China, she was placed into my wife's arms for the first time. I have to look back at the video to remember the details of that day, because I was overwhelmed and stunned, and I don't remember much. I pretty much just walked around in a daze taking pictures. What I do remember though is that she fell asleep in my arms on the bus trip back to the hotel. My wife kept asking me if my arms were tired and I responded "no way!"

We'll be going back to China in a few months to greet daughter #2. Last time we didn't get to do much because of SARS (we were one of the last groups allowed into China), but this time we should be able to visit the Fuling orphanage and do some other sight seeing. We haven't seen her picture yet, but I'm anxious, because I know she's there, waiting for us.

Love has no borders!

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Published: (2005-05-11 10:07:20.0)

A few of my distant team members (she and her were there) were in town for the week, and I invited them over to my house for dinner one night. All was well, until the subject of the seven dwarfs came up with my daughter. She knows the names of all the dwarfs, something I am rather proud of. So at one point, someone asked her "well what dwarf does he look like?", pointing at my boss. "Dopey!" she exclaimed. We laughed so hard that we scared her, and it took me awhile to convince her that she had done nothing wrong. Even if Daddy was probably going to fired. ;p

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Published: (2005-04-21 18:05:14.0)

So, suddenly one day, The Why's arrived. And I was rather unprepared. My daughter started off asking "why?" a few times one day ("how odd" I thought), but by the next day they were everywhere. "Uh oh" was my reaction when I realized what was happening. I really need a handy dandy timetable for these sorts of things - you know, something wallet sized.

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Published: (2005-04-21 17:44:00.0)

So while getting my daughter ready for bed, she started to talk about The Monster. She's only 2 and 1/2 years old, so I was a bit surprised that she already knows about them. So I took it very seriously, because I know all about monsters (I used to be plagued by horrific nightmares.) Instead of blowing it off, I decided to talk to her about it. "So sweety where is the monster?" I asked. "In my bed!" she replied while pointing. I look over, "Really. So is he a nice monster? Like Elmo?" She shook her head, "no!" So I'm starting to get a bit concerned. "He's not? Well what does he want?" I ask. "He wants to get in my closet." Uh oh. Now I'm really concerned. "What does he want to do in your closet?" I tentatively ask. "He wants to try on all my clothes!" she says rather angrily. Her reply surprises me, and I have to bite my lip so I don't start giggling. Monsters are serious stuff, but the thought of a cross-dressing monster is rather humorous. We kept talking about the monster, and I told her if the monster was not going to be a nice, well, we would have to talk to his Mommy and he would need to go home. She nodded, and proceeded to scold the monster on her own.

All of this brought back a memory for me. I remember lying in my bed, totally freaking out over a scratching noise in the dark. It would come and go, and I kept trying to peer in the shadows to see what it was. Eventually I called my Dad. My father was in the Marines for 30 years, so at that point in my childhood, admitting fear to him was something I did not do lightly. He came and asked what was wrong. And in a very frightened voice I told him about the noises. "Really? I don't hear anything" he said in a soothing tone. I then explained how it came and went. "Ok" he said, then sat in the bed next to me to wait. After a few minutes, the scratching noise returned. "There! there!" I exclaimed. He got up and started to track the noise, and got down on his hand and knees by my dresser. "Ah. Ok I see now" he calmly explained. Turns out it was a piece of paper caught behind my dresser that would rustle and move when the heat went off. "There you go. All better know?" he asked. I nodded and smiled.

So you see, monsters are a serious business. And to a child (and even adults) they are very real and very frightening. Even if they are cross-dressers.

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Published: (2005-04-13 15:52:29.0)

While giving my daughter a bath the other night during our normal goofing off, I put my face very close to hers. She giggled, then her eyes got very big and she became very quiet as she stared into my eyes. Puzzled, I asked "what do you see sweety?" No response. I didn't move, wanting to understand what was going on. Then it hit me. "Oh, you see yourself don't you?" She slowly nodded, not blinking. Finally she said "I see pictures!" I laughed and replied "Oh yeah? You see pictures of you? Pretty cool huh?" She smiled and said "Pretty cool."

Another moment passed, just us staring into each other eyes. Finally, I whispered "You know what? I see the world in your eyes." She seemed very pleased by this, and we went back to the serious work of goofing off.

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Published: (2005-03-21 12:39:40.0)