laugh ... it is good for you and those around you. at the very least consider doing so for the next 3 minutes whilst you lurk amidst my ramblings. once done, consider laughing again at some point in time noting that the more innappropriate the occassion the funnier it is.

[big breath] [deep sigh] [inner child in check]

early on, when this litte bloggy thing was just getting it's legs, mary expressed a bit of curiosity as to just who this gonzo character was. to these types of inquiries i typicall reply, as i did on this occassion, "well, i'm just a dude. a relatively happy one at that ... or at the very least striving to be ... so," consciously choosing to let history be ... history ... for it is the present that is ... the now.

anyways, given that mary is a persistent soul indeed, visions of my past self uncoverred via nefarious tabloids haphazardly strewn between breath mints and stale gum i feel now is the time that i must come clean. set the record straight. come to grips and embrace my other self so to speak for i am ... zoolander. there, i said it.

way back when, being young and knowing not, i found myself living large as a man o f mystery.

it all started out innocently enough, doing cover shoots and the like.

finding myself lounging about and playing games simply for the sake of being.

anything to keep the self perpetuating image rolling. more. faster. brighter. the gigs were unstoppable. i was in the marlboro man's rear view mirror and he knew it.

soon, what now feels like not long after it all started, things became a blur. confusion was my only friend which, while making for interesting conversation, the day to day became redundantly circular ... hamster wheel laps(e) being my only outlet.

it came to a point when the assignments i found myself participating in ultimately caused a reflection point.

instantly, it all became clear. i had meaning. i, zoolander ... and now, i am cleansed.

in a flash of destiny visited i chose to re-invent myself as a relatively anonymous code slinger ... one who tends to keep out of the limelight solely for fear of what i could become ... again ... as the camera is indeed addictive. addictive indeed.

now that the truth is told, only time will tell if the international modelling world is secure enough to let me be. be me.

laugh ... you are free to stop now but do consider taking it up again from time to time. it is good for the world as we are surely in short supply.

note: the pics are real. the pics are me. i am real. everything else is fiction except for what is real.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Jimmy Pange And Robert Plant/No Quarter/The Truth Explodes

gems galore here in sun blogland! truly so.

jimgris is so spot on with this gem of ultimiate simplicity:

... People want to win. Win the argument. Out talk the other guy. This is an exhausting way to live. Over the long run, I bet the winners turn out to be the ones who engage in the debate with the intention of both educating as well as learning. ...

strive to learn something everyday, big or small.

learning is good. life is learning. life is good. simple.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Secret Machines/Now Here Is Nowhere/Light's On

rama provided a creativity link that i find both amazing and quite motivational. Thx Rama.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: The Cure/The Cure/Anniversary

for halloween this year trey has decided to give it a go at being spiderman which is bitter sweet. when he was 2 he was an unhappy/scared/etc bob the builder ... unhappy that is until literally the first candy hit the bottom of his little treat bag. last year he was samari jack which i really enjoyed as that is an ultra cool cartoon we enjoy watching together, shouting out "aaaakkkkkkkoooooo" (sp) and the like. this year, it's spiderman. not sure where this idea has come from as i don't watch spiderman cartoons with him. regardless, spiderman is cool so off we go.

so, we're out shopping for a spiderman costume and we find several choices as evidently spiderman is the hot costume this year. trey picks out one with a full hood and all, with only two little eye holes to see through. he tries it on for size and i must admit that i was a bit taken aback initially staring down at a little spiderman, in full garb, where my little smiling boy stood only moments ago ... that is until i saw his smiling eyes beyind the mask. ok, we get home and he has to put on the costume again before heading to bed and this is where the fun begins. he literally became spiderman, shooting little imaginary spider webs about the house and propelling himself with said webs onto the bed, down the hall and into our arms. it was pretty amazing to watch and i smile each time i recall the last evenings activities.

life is good!

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Talking Heads/Fear Of Music/Animals

Peer -To-Peer Payoff ... yeah, what he said :)

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: James/Laid/FiveO

we joined my brother and his wife for a saturday afternoon treck to view the elephant seals as they haul out at ana nuevo. we used to visit the park quite often, at least once a year during the busy season, which is just now getting underway, but for reasons unknown we haven't visited the park for several years. in any event, the ride to the park was slow and wet. slow due to the pumpkin mayhem that ensues annually and appears to be progressively growing at a steady clip year after year. this event all but chokes through traffic on the single lane 92 highway ... all in awe and honor of the great pumpkin :) it rained relatively consistently on the way there and back but fortunately it was quite clear while we were on foot. it's nice when things work out that way. trey walked pretty much then entire 3/4 mile trail coming and going, needing only a ride for the remaining 30 or so yards. he's growing up so fast. speaking of, the day started with tball at the ymca. trey is getting much more active in hitting and fielding the ball. uncle dava and aunt dong-bin came to see him play as well. it was quite fun. back to ana nuevo, only 40 or so juvenile seals were on shore at present but things should be picking up through the next couple of weeks and months as the adult elephant seals journey back to this beach, the males from up north and the females from due west. they are solitary animals as sea and i was told they hold the deepest recorded diving record for a mamal, beating out whales. pretty amazing. we do plan to make it back to the park early next year, likely in january to observe peak activity. on the way home we stopped over at duarte's to have green chile soup, an amazing grilled tuna and wasabi sandwich, and more. trey snarfed the frys, as usual. good times.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: James/Laid/One Of The Three

today is our 15yr anniversary. happy anniversary tam! here's to 15 more.

today is also my mom's anniversary. happy anniversary mom and tom! to the future and beyond.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Peter Gabriel/Shaking The Tree/Here Comes The Flood

jxta demo's

use it - learn it - do it

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Meat Beat Manifesto/RUOK/Horn Of Jericho

reality check

indeed! well said!

now, let's get down to working together and moving the computing industry forward ... collectively and collaboratively.

btw, sony cameras rock!

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: The Verve/Urban Hymns/Space & Time

my bro mike lands a gig in my home town as a teacher. good deal and congrats. the lad has way more degrees then i do, has tended wolves, spent a year in mexico, rode down the west coast with another brother on mt bikes, drives my grandma's forest green '64 volkswagen ... hey, he's done *way* more then i have.

speaking of the other brother, john has escaped cube farm. go big compadre.

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Orb/Auntie Aubries Beyond The Call Of Duty/System 7 Sunburst Orb Remix

i truly suspect eitan's simply put perspectives is that of the silent majority. the folks that simply desire to build out next gen apps using the best tools available knowing that there are very few things in life that are "free." free. such an enabling world yet completely hijacked with subjectivity galore. there are bigger issues that we, collectively, need to address vs petty squabbling. really. consumer quality systems are not what they should be for the price we are paying. period. i believe a few are banging drums loudly and others simply mind numblingly march along to a tired old tune. the arguments are so 2000. get over it already. on the upside, most folks are picking up the pieces and collectively moving the computing world forward, rationalizing and resolving the issues enroute. it's fun. it's liberating. it's the way it should be. i choose the later and so should you.

go big or go home!

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Orb/Auntie Aubries Beyond The Call Of Duty/Sun Electric Red Summer Orb Koskiewicz Mix

trey (cute little lad way up to the left) has enrolled in both tBall and karata classes. the former is pretty loose and casual yet it is at 9am (awful morning) on saturday and i fear trey has inheritted his fathers "morning allergy" genes. that aside, it is fun and he's pretty good at it albeit shy. parent involvement is encouraged which is fun.

karate, on the other hand, is quite disciplined and, frankly, has overwhelmed the trey'ster, that is up until today and man where his parents proud. he's in a class of 10 or so with age ranges from 4 (trey) to 9'ish. most of the kids are towards the upper range. based on the first day's experience we decided tam should take the class with trey, which she enjoys and i'm and a bit jealous about ... until i realize just how clumsy i would be at which point i'm happy to observe from behind the glass wall. the second day was bumpy and getting his new outfit didn't help all that much which suprised me given he and i are *huge* fans of samari jack (hmmmmmm, can't find the home page ... odd) and in fact he *is* samari trey for halloween. anyways, we practiced a bit at home, got him used to the outfit, etc and today he totally, i mean *totally* rocked ... alongside his ultra-cool mom.

man, that was fun to watch. gud tymz!

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Orb/Auntie Aubries Beyond The Call Of Duty/Time Unlimited Men Of Wadodem Orbital Mix

tried out netbeans 4.0b today. very nice!

when it comes to slinging code i'm a minimalist ... command line when possible, not a fan of mousing, green-on-black all the way baby. i'm likely addicted to anything beta as well. not sure what the attraction is but tweaking something that is taking shape before my eyes, vs spit-shined to a nice glossy gleen, is, well, fun. surf the edge!

anyways, i sliced a bit'o time today to tool around with the latest nb kind on the block ... and i'm impressed. very much so ... keeping in mind that i come from the minimalist camp. nb4 feels like it won't get in my way and does it's steady best to meld to my style, for better or worse. it happily slurps up my system and process agnostic ant files and maps the principal targets to nice little buttons. it looks to be quite configurable and should i dive in deeper there looks to be a ton of extremely enabling features, plugins, etc.

i like beta!

i converted our jnlp files to no longer pin to 1.4 now that tiger is on the prowl. the default ui is sweet and there looks to be some fixes in the mix (eg JEditorPane/HTML rendering) that makes the cutover worth the effort ... which was beyond painless. that and now my application's jnlp and associated instructions are significantly streamlined, as in "just click" simple.

now, where is the 1.6b?

Java == platform independence
XML == application independence
JXTA == network independence

Secure End-to-End Computing

in my ears: Underworld/Second Toughest In The Infants/Air Towel