When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.

When the CAPS LOCK light is out, you never know if you're going to scream.
No, I don't know why I feel the need to put silly titles on weblog updates. I always have, and probably always will as I do tend to be a creature of habit. Bear with me won't you? :)

It's official, I'm hooked on City of Heros. CURSE YOU TOM! :) I was thinking that playing this game is going to seriously cut into my nerd time until I realized that gaming -is- nerd time. So I'll skip my OS nerdiness at home for a while, it doesn't mean I resign my position in the geek club. :)

Anyway. Tom and I have been discussing this relocation for a long while now, and we've agreed that I should move to Phoenix instead of him coming here. Every day I check for openings in the Phoenix office in desperate hope that an SSE position will come available. Of course I'm sure lots of other people would be interested in moving there too, but hey what can 'ya do right? I can't help I fell in love with him. You can hold him responsible for it, I know I certainly do. :) I'll keep checking every day though and keep hoping.

So the reason I have the Fight Club quote at the top of the blog is that I don't sleep very well. It's been a problem for, well, as long as I can remember right now. A number of years. I know I had the problem before I came to work here, and I've had it off and on since. Sometimes it goes away for a period of weeks or months and I sleep really well, but typically I only get a few hours of sleep a night. That's if I'm lucky.

The lack of sleep causes me to be a little grumpy some mornings. Well, I'm not sure if grumpy is the right word for it. I don't snap at people or anything, I just tend to be 'not very talkative' and caught up in thoughts. People mistake it for being grumpy, but in reality it's closer to being intensely focused on something. You know, what needs to be done for the day, for the coming week, long term plans (moving to Arizona!), working out world peace and solving the humanitarian issues around the globe. Important stuff.

It always happens though that at some point in my intensely focused little world, something steps in and yanks me back to reality and makes me smile. All the problems and worries fade away and I'm happy again and I come into work humming a song or something. :) This morning I got in my car and plugged in my Zen (mp3 player), and began the ~1.25 hour drive to the local office. (I could work from home if I wanted, have I mentioned how much I love this place? :) )

In the midst of my moodiness, one of the best songs in the world queue's up in the player (set on random), and I start to grin. :) It's as if God was reading my mind and decided to make me laugh. Everyone has probably heard "If I had a million dollars" by Barenaked Ladies, but if you haven't I suggest buying the cd or calling your local radio station and asking them to play it. It always makes me smile, who knows? It might do the same for you.
(2004-11-09 08:16:45.0) Permalink
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