The World Of Isa

ISAINFO
I am very mad! My mommy has resigned and she says I have to too! Manny, my boss, said that I didn't have to, that I am welcome to stay. If I resign who will be the ESE (Emotional Support Engineer)? Who will keep Mikey's nose clean, make sure Jeff learns to use his pager and who's going to make Afua smile? I DON'T KNOW!!!! Mommy said maybe I could come by every now and then to make sure everythings running okay... besides I like to run up and down the halls. I've worked at Sun my entire life and I don't even know if this new place will need an ESE, but they probably will... everyone does! Anyway I just wanted to say bye to everyone, cause I'm pretty sure I won't be able to blog here anymore... but if you need an Isafix you can find me at http://busybelle.blogspot.com. Love Always, Isa

I think it's pretty cool that Sun named a command after me! :-)

IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!
It's about time! It seems my mommy had been too busy to help me write my blog! Can you believe it! That is totally unacceptable... I have things to say!

First, my birthday is in March... mommy makes me homemade biscuits and I get new toys, which is really cool, but Sammy's birthday is on the 4th of July and everyone celebrates, there were even parades and mommy got vacation! I don't understand! There were fireworks and festivals all over town! I think Sammy is a special boy, but I think there should be the same kind of celebration on my birthday!

Anyway, we visited family in Oklahoma for Sammy's birthday. First we went to my grandma's, I got to see a cat, that was fun, and I love running up and down the stairs, but mommy failed to get out the camera. Silly mommy! Luckily when we went to see my grandpa she got out the camera. This is me telling the neighbor dogs on the other side of the fence what I think of them, my Uncle Max helped out some, sometimes Sammy helped. The neighbor dogs were very threatened by me... I didn't really need Sam or Max to help me, but the more the merrier. I know my Mommy, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Norm, Grandpa and Grandma Pat all enjoy hearing us all bark at 7am... really anytime, I'm sure it's a pleasure to hear our melodic voices. Oh and here's a picture of the dog house, if we had a dog, I'm sure it would be well used, but obviously, to this day, no dog has ever set foot in it. I think my grandpa's yard is big enough that I could poo twice a day for the rest of my life and never poo in the same spot!

We also enjoyed hanging out watching TV, I think my Aunt Teresa loves Sammy best... she even let him lay in her lap and chew a gooey rawhide. Not Fair! Here's a picture of my butt... it's pretty cute. Me just chilling!

Now, I have some thoughts... why is Tom Cruise on Oprah, jumping up and down, declaring his love for Katie Holmes.... doesn't he know we think he's acting stupid? Why is Tom Cruise on a interview telling people that there is no such thing as a "chemical imbalance" and he knows this become he has a "background in psychology", what that's suppose to mean? Doesn't he know I think he sounds stupid... I have to admit he did have some points, but I think that a "background in psychology" hardly makes him an expert.

Also I am a Chihuahua... I do not catch treats in my mouth. Sammy is a Cocker Spaniel he prefers to catch his treats.... I do not! Throw me a treat and it hits me in the head... I don't like that!

I haven't mentioned how hot it is here in Texas! I was wondering... when early settlers were traveling across the country who on earth ever stopped here and thought "let's just stay here in this blazing heat"... who doesn't enjoy day after day of temperatures near or above 100' and it plummeting down in the evening to a pleasant 90 something degrees. I was thinking that EVERYONE should migrate North in the summer and South in the winter.... I think we can learn something from birds! I really think it could work, everyone would have summer homes and winter homes... all business would have two sites. Not only could we all enjoy moderate climates all year long, but we would all be ready for disaster recovery! It's just a thought... Nibbles for now, Love Isa

they probably wish they could be our mommy
Sammy and I are home alone... aren't there rules about leaving children home alone? I hide under the covers most the time when mommy is gone... Sammy says he does home security, but I think he sleeps a lot! He stayed with Uncle Mikey when we went to Tallahasse and Mikey said that he would come inside and Sammy would be sleeping. Mikey and Sammy were going to go out partying, but Mikey got sick and spent most of the time with his head in the toilet. Maybe it was the other end, hard to tell the difference sometimes. Anyway, on Monday, Sammy had his appointment with his opthamologist, Dr. Munger, he is very nice... he gave Sammy and I treats. We don't mind going to see Dr. Munger because it doesn't smell bad at his office, he smells okay too. I don't think he rolls in dead worms. I also like his lobby, I can sit in my bag and bark at dogs when they come in... hee hee, sometimes no one knows I'm in the bag so it scares their mommies and daddies! hee hee! Once I start barking, Sammy starts barking, my mommy really enjoys having two barking children! The other mommies and daddies are very impressed too, they probably wish they could be our mommy! Speaking of mommy, I think the garage door is opening! I got to get ready to do my famous "belly dance", mommy loves that! Nibbles, Isa

ISA'S HAIKU FOR GARDEN WORMS!
I saw were my friend Minou once wrote a haiku for her baboon.... I thought this was very clever and I hoped that some day I would be inspired to write one too. I was enlightened this morning!

Isa's Haiku for Garden Worms

before innocent

rain, worms, texas sun, dead worms

rolling, much pleasure

Mommy thought it was much smelly! This is my first attempt to write a haiku, I might try again later! Nibbles, Isa

Maybe I'm watching too much Oprah!
Did you know that you could be wearing the wrong size bra! I didn't.... but I am a Chihuahua and I don't wear a bra! According to Oprah's sources 85% of American women are wearing the wrong bra size! I thought this was alarming! Even though it does not concern me, my mommy could be wearing the wrong size bra! OMG! There was a lady on the show they called the cleavage cop, she was an expert on fitting bras. I had no idea about the horrors of an ill-fitting bra... straps falling down, bands riding up, wires digging or STUFF FALLING OUT! Sammy and I thought this was VERY SCARY! The minute mommy got home we made her check out the cleavage cop's website.... thank goodness we intervened in time! There's really no way for me to know, since I'm just a Chihuahua, but Sammy and I think this could be life threatening, we urge anyone who wears a bra to take appropriate action.

A few days later Sammy and I were watching Oprah again.... who knew Tom Cruise could be so annoying! So he's in love.... who care's! This does not affect my day! Wake-up, poop & pee, eat, play, sleep, etc. Sammy and I thought he was so annoying, jumping up and down, standing on the furniture... only little girls and boys like myself and Sammy should be standing on the furniture! Well I think Manny's looking for me, he probably has more work for me to do! Nibbles, Isa

ISA'S AIRPLANE RIDE!
Yes, I'm okay and so is Mommy! Minou's concern is much appreciated, and in the future if I don't respond you should check out my Aunt Teresa. Sammy and I think she might be plotting ways to get us.... she's crazy about Coo-Coo Spaniels and Hells Belle, a.k.a. me!

Well, as you know, if you read my blog, I went to Tallahassee to get my sissy! I got to fly on the big airplane and I was not scared and I did not poop all over myself. (my mommy was worried) I even waited until I got all the way to Tallahassee, then my sissy took me outside and my butt exploded! That felt good! Everyone on the airplane thought I was cute! After take off, Mommy set my bag in the middle seat where no one was sitting, that was better, I didn't like being under the seat in front of her! Anyway, I got to run around FSU campus and through the halls of some building! I met Dr. C, I think he fell pretty hard for me and I hope he's okay now that I left. Being so cute really is a curse! I had lots of fun while in Tallahassee, but I didn't enjoy my ride home! We drove my sissy's truck all the way back to Dallas! It's about a 14 + hour drive, but Mommy has a lead foot so we were able to shave it down to 12 ½. That was still too long! I thought I might die of boredom! I would much rather fly! I was so happy to be home!

I thought the ride was bad, once home, I got an ear infection! My sissy took me to the vet because Mommy was working! I do not like the vet! He stuck something up my butt and it was very embarrassing! I do not think it's nice to stick anything up my butt! Then he cleaned my ears and that hurt! He gave me a shot! That hurt! Then he put all this gooey stuff in my ears and I've been working real hard to get it out! I think I'm gonna go work some more on that right now! Nibbles, Isa

WARNING FROM ISA!
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! OMG! It's all very silly, one of Mommy's coworker, not to mention any names, Jeff, was trying get her to do isometrics... I'm sorry, but clinching your butt while walking down the hall isn't really gonna do the trick! I never clinch anything and I look great... besides if you ask me Mommy's butt looks fine, unless she's fixin' to sit on me! Now she's constantly whining about her glute! Mommy bikes 25+ miles a couple times a week, but she can't clinch her butt and walk! What's up with that! What a whimp! Now I know Jeff is walking around clinching.... that's too much information! Nibbles, Isa

ISA ON HAPPY HOURS!
I am so mad!!! Mommy is going to Happy Hour tonight and I don't like it one bit! This means I am expected to wait to go pee and poo! I'm not so sure that's going to happen! Why do they call it Happy Hour anyway? I'm not happy! And if I'm not happy... no one's happy! I make sure of that! I think if she's not home by 7 I will just go poo and/or pee on the rug in the bathroom... that will show her! She will think twice about going to another Happy Hour!

I am happy though, because I get to fly to Tallahassee to get my sissy! I've never flown before, I don't think that flying will be fun... I hope I don't get scared and poo myself... Mommy hopes so too! Once we get there it will be fun though, I am going to run around on campus like any other college girl! I am probably much smarter than a lot of them! Hee hee! I hope Sissy's professor's don't develop a crush on me, student and professor relationships are strictly tabu! I wish I had a pretty outfit to wear, my friend Minou always had cute outfits, but so far I haven't been able to get stingy Mommy to spring for any cute stuff off Minou's website! That's just wrong! Sammy is going to stay with Uncle Mikey, he can't ride on the plane. Mikey is already talking about taking him to bar's to attract women... Sammy is, after all, the Gangster of Love! Sammy hasn't done much bar hopping, but he's certainly into bed hopping! Anyway, we don't have to fly home, because we are going to drive back! That will be much more fun... we can turn the radio up really loud and sing our favorite songs, we like rock! I don't think Mommy isn't very happy about the gas prices... she's gonna make Sissy pay for the gas! Well, I've got to get back to napping, Friday I have to go to work... my boss Manny is a slave driver. Please don't tell the authorities, I wouldn't want him to get in trouble for violating Chihuahua Labor Laws! Nibbles for Now, Isa

INTRODUCING ISA'S GUEST BLOGGER PIERRE
Hello. My name's Pierre Abrams, guest blogger. People often describe me as an incredibly handsome and trim black and white cat with amazing green eyes. But-- I am pretty modest, so I'll skip the description. Back when I was CEO of Kinko's, in the cush corner office overlooking North Dallas, I was little Isa's neighbor. In fact-- my girlfriend Brigitte once dated Isa's brother, Sammie. And Isa's "sissy", Lindsay, has fed me a few times when my mom took a "Pierre sabbatical". How ridiculous. I don't need someone to feed me. I am a CEO! And--I know when my mom leaves, she just wants to get away from me and I consider it quite rude of her.

Anyway, I wanted to write because other cats could learn from me. I am the Horatio Alger of cats. Or-- the Donald Trump of cats, if you will. But my fur looks a lot better than that nasty old nest of hair The Donald has. Yuck. By the way, I am named Pierre for my stylish French-ish goatee. C'est tres chic!

A little about me: I clawed my way to the top at Kinko's, only to be struck down when new ownership (FedEx) decided cats apparently weren't good enough for them. I was fired. Gone were the limo rides to work, reading the WSJ (turning the pages with paws is tough) and watching Bloomberg. No more executive litter box, expense account sushi business lunches or my execu-cat assistant.

After the bad news, I slept a lot. For several months. Nearly 24 hours a day. Then, I got a call from my lawyer that I had won a class action suit (Kinko's had fired other cats, as well.) against now FedEx-Kinko's. I was reinstated as CEO--- WITH back pay. But my job seemed a farce. People looked down on me! As if I didn't belong.

So-- I went out on my own to found a new delivery company called Pidge-Widge.It's an alternative to FedEx for shipping nationwide. I'll tell you more about it another time, but let's just say I can't get near the workers, as they fear for their lives. I work from home, nocturnally, so my mom and new dad aren't even aware that I have a job, let alone that I am a CEO! Genius! I don't want to help pay the mortgage of this new house they bought.

My message to all the cats out there today is that, You Can Do It! Don't let your mom or dad tell you you're just a housecat! Get out there and make a name for yourself. Be careful crossing the street and stay away from dogs, unless they are really, really little, like Isa. She's scared of EVERYTHING.

I've got to run. Big conference call I have to take. Thanks for taking time from your "busy" day to read my blog.

next time, maybe some info about my hot taupe-furred, blue-eyed girlfriend, Brigitte. I try to bite her privates all the time. I don't see why I'm not getting anywhere. But--more on that--LATER.

FYI: attached is my most recent Pidge-Widge corporate headshot.

Sincerely,

Pierre Abrams

CEO and Founder

Pidge-Widge

Plano, TX 75093

ISA's BACK! :-)
Hello, it's me Isa! I was on my way to work with Mommy the other morning when I heard on the radio that Whitney is back in rehab! Who's Whitney! Who cares? I have so many other concerns.... are my toenails too long... will Sammy sit on me while I'm under the covers.... when's Mommy coming home so I can lick her face! These are important things! We went shopping Saturday and people were constantly stopping Mommy telling her how cute I am, I barked at some very small people.... who knew they were baby people and this would be frowned on!

Then the other night Mommy went to the Annual White Trash Party. I KNOW! It's bad enough that she and her friends dressed up all “white trashy” and went to the silly party, but worse yet Sammy and I were left home alone to watch TV again! Watching TV with Sam is a real chore, he's constantly surfing through the channels! I wanted to watch CSI, but Sammy was moving through the channels so fast my little head was spinning! I felt like the little girl in the exorcist! He did stop and watch Anna Nicole Smiths TrimSpa commercial! Is TrimSpa crazy? I'm just a little Chihuahua with a brain the size of a pea and I know that women buy more diet products than men, so I don't know who they are trying to target. I would never buy that stuff... not that I would ever have to since I weigh less then 6lbs. Anyway, we did watch my favorite show, “What Not to Wear”! I think Sammy likes to watch that too, he has a crush on Stacy, one of the hosts. I think the other host, Clinton, has pretty eyes. I think all humans should watch “What Not to Wear” so they would look better, not everyone has the fashion sense that I, or my pal Minou, have! Well, I have to get back to work... I hope Mommy stops going out! Nibbles, Isa

ISA'S NEW FRIEND MINOU!
Wow! I have a new friend! She is a Chihuahua just like me and she has a blog too! Her name is Minou and she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia. I was looking at her website were she models the clothes her Mommy makes.... it's so cool! Minou is a great model, she has many different looks and the clothes are soooooo cute! I am going to talk to my Mommy and see if I can get her to order me something! I really would like to have an outfit, something in the style of Daisy Duke. I think I would look very cute!! I think I could be a model, Mommy thinks so too, but she said I couldn't do runway because I am too short. I don't understand why I am so short. Mommy is 5'9” and my sissy is 5'11, heck Sammy is 1'2”... I don't get it! Speaking of my sissy, she is off at Florida State getting her masters and I am really worried that she might fail. In the past I have always helped her with her homework. Her professors think she is very bright, but they don't know that I was just spoon feeding her. I taught her Chinese... that was like pulling teeth, she can be very slow sometimes! I helped her with all her reading and research. Oh, her papers... I wrote them! Now, without me to help her, I just don't know how she'll manage! Oh! oh! Last night my Mommy and I went to the airport, I didn't know that was where we were going at first, but when we got to the terminal I was so excited! I thought we were going to pick up my sissy... the last two times I went to the airport she was there, but we picked up Mikey and Nick instead. That was fun too! I sat in Mikey's lap and licked his face, I even stuck my tongue up his nose! I think he likes that a lot! Mommy's at work, I hope she comes home for lunch so I can do a belly dance! I think I will just hide under this blanky until she gets here! Nibbles, Isa

ISA ON HOUSEWORK
What is housework anyway? I know I don't like it at all! I don't like it when Mommy is moving around from room to room, she needs to stay put and play with me! I especially hate it when she changes the sheets on the bed! It's very scary, what if I were to get tangled up into the sheets and thrown in the washing machine! Or scrubbing floors.... I hate that too. The floors get all wet and smell really bad... Mommy gets all mad at us for walking through where she's already cleaned! Most of all I hate the big terrifying vacuum sweeper... Mommy calls is Monica, not sure why? Sometimes when she's cleaning house I just go upstairs and hide under the blanky on the couch until she's done! I really think that cleaning is a useless activity... what's wrong with a little Sam and Isa hair, here and there? I see nothing wrong with paw prints on the floor or nose smudges on the glass doors and windows! Sam and I keep the crumbs off the floor and I think that is all that needs to be done! Nibbles for now! Isa

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FROM ISA
Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Nibbles,

Isabelle

http://www.superlaughecards.com/val/puppylove.htm Or Click Here

ISA's AWAY
Most of you who read this blog know that Isabelle usually writes it. Well this morning she is off to the Four Seasons Spa to get a Swedish massage and a “Paw”nicure! So today I, Sammy, am taking over! You probably know me as Isa's big brother a.k.a., The Gangster of Love, Hunka-Hunka Burnin' Love, The Saminator, Sambert Einstein, Samwise and that's just to name a few! I know she's told you all about her work and her days, but let me tell you how it really goes down! First, I wake Mommy, Isabelle is so small she couldn't wake a fly, but let me tell you, Mommy knows when I'm up and ready to eat. There's absolutely no rolling over and going back to sleep when I pounce her a couple times with all 36lbs of me! Dats fer sure! Then I spring around on the bed to make sure she's up and moving! Once I get everyone up, I make a dash out the pet doors to talk to a man about a dog! ;-) Isa is afraid to go through the pet doors so Mommy has take her out, very silly! Mommy puts medication in my eye and gives us our food, I think she might be trying to starve me, I don't think she would like it if I gave her just two scoops of food a day! When Mommy leaves, I start patrolling the perimeter. Sometimes Isabelle helps me, she has very keen hearing. I can't hear much because I don't have any eardrums.... a result of a childhood illness. Regardless, nothing gets past me... there are no noisy squirrels prancing around on the terrace, all the people walking by, keep on walking! Then after a long day of patrolling and napping, Mommy comes home! Mommy says I'm the most perfect boy... I never leave the seat up, to get my attention all she has to do is pick up a ball. I'm a great cuddler, and I love doing things with her! And I'm always willingly to put my head through my choke collar when necessary! I understand these are important attributes for any guy! Now there are some things I do that the average guy probably shouldn't. For instance, I like to walk around with a tennis ball in my mouth while wearing just my housecoat. I also smack when I eat, which would drive my Mommy nuts if it were anybody but me. I like to stick my nose in the AC vent in the car and hang my head out the window. I also snore... just a little, I do enjoy a little drink from the toilet from time to time and I do a lot of construction work outside, but I don't think my mommy finds it desirable! Gotta Run, I see Isa coming! Chow!

My grandmommy sent us this, I think it is outrageous!

ISA ON THE COST OF AUTO REPAIR
I've been so rattled because I've had to listen to Jeff drool on about “Elektra” for DAYS, I forgot to tell you about my mommy's trip to Goodyear!

Friday started off bad when Mommy's truck wouldn't start! Well, actually it wouldn't stay started... it would make the big vroom sound, but the minute she let her foot off the gas it died. She tried a few times, no luck, so she tried calling Jeff and Eric, hoping that they could come get us, no answer! I could tell Mommy was getting upset, fixing the truck is usually costly! So, I told her to call the nice guys at the local Goodyear, they are always very helpful. While talking to them, I could tell she was getting even more upset, her voice was cracking and her eyes were tearing up. You have to understand my mommy is not a big baby, but she is very sensitive i.e., she commonly cries watching Oprah, Emergency Vets and paying bills. :-) Anyway, after talking to the Goodyear guys, she decided to try to drive the truck to the station by just riding the gas all the way. We were lucky, only one red light, and we made it,I was exhausted! Once there, Mommy's tears were gone, she explained the problem to the Goodyear guy and he said “you were the lady that was crying”, well that did it, Mommy's eyes started to get all watery again. Trying to console her, he said “it's just a car”, she said, “it's not the car it's the money”... he immediately knocked 10$ off the diagnostic fee. Jeff came by and picked us up, he told Mommy that they were going to rip her off at this chain store. Mommy's been going to this store for years, I thought they would be fair, but who knows? So, about a hour after we got to work, Mr. Goodyear called and said the truck needed a new fuel pump. He quoted her a price for the fuel pump, labor and the oil change and inspection she had asked for, the inspection was due in August 2004. After he heard Mommy gasp he waved the diagnostic fee. She said to go ahead, after all, what's a single girl gonna do? Jeff said his guy would probably do it cheaper, so he called him. Soon, Jeff's guy called him back with a quote for just the fuel pump and labor, that turned out to be higher than the total cost of everything our guys were gonna do! We felt good about our guys at the Goodyear. So, to sum up the story, crying helps! Mike and Jeff decided that Mommy and I should take their vehicles in when they need repair. Mommy said they should just try crying, they decided that they would probably just be charged more for being whimps! My Mommy's got it going on! Nibbles for now, and don't forget to bring on the tears! Isa