Thursday May 03, 2007

Spider-man 3

And now for something absolutely non Java related....

Yesterday, with a few friends, we went to our local multiplex to watch the newly released Spider-Man 3 (Imagine that: it was released in Europe a few days before the US!). Quick background: As a teenager I grew up with Spidey and, like many at that time, I felt quite close to that nerdy Peter Parker. I also thoroughly, after years and years of waiting, enjoyed the first two movies. They succeeded in doing something pretty damn hard: updating a material from the 60s while staying faithful to its spirit and core appeal.

But that was then, let's see what we have now.

When the movie opens, everything is peachy in Peter Parker's life! Did I say peachy? Scratch that! He's pretty much on top of the world: He's sailing through his classes, the woman he's been dreaming about all his (admittedly short) life is absolutely crazy about him, and everybody, and I mean absolutely everybody, in town think his hooded alter-ego is the best thing that ever happened to the city that never sleeps. They're even going to give him the keys to the city, for crying out loud. The only shadow to that sunny picture is the fact that his best friend, Harry Osborne, is still mad at him because he believes Spider-Man killed his father. The nerves of some people! Meanwhile, Mary-Jane's life is going down the crapper because she got bad reviews to her latest Broadway production (yea, I know, don't get me started). At that point, if you have seen Spider-Man 2 you may think "Hey, this is the exact opposite situation as in the previous movie. How clever of them!". Well, not that clever if you ask me. You see, one of the major part of the character from the comics book and from the previous movies is that being Spider-Man is a curse to Peter. This is his cross to bear and what makes him so special. So, now, he's just another "man of steel". Booooring! The worst part is that it goes downhill from there.

There are many problems with that movie, the first one, as way too often, is the script. There is no focus whatsoever in that mess of a story. You have 3 villains, none of them remotely interesting or even developed, then you have a very poorly developed love triangle (actually 2 love triangles, a mess I'm telling you) and, to top it all, the return of the "dark side" (you know, the one that is so tempting, so easy to follow). And none of that works.

Second problem, the pace. That movie is way too slow and way too long. They could have cut 30 minutes of it without any problem. I'm quite surprised here, because until now Sam Raimi had a rather good track record on that front. Well, I guess there is a first time for everything. My 3 friends were as bored as I was during the whole movie. not good!

If all that wasn't bad enough, the acting is really sub-par here. I know, it's not a movie where you'd expect great performances, but the last two episodes provided some more than decent ones. Here, my best memory when it comes to acting, is Bruce Campbell doing an hilarious John Cleese imitation in the part of a French Maitre'D (I know it sounds ridiculous, but it works). All the main actors are going through the motions without delivering. The worst offender, to me, is Tobey Maguire during his "I'm bad!" stint. It was embarrassing to watch.

I could go on with a few minor things that annoyed the hell out of me, like the fact that the masks and hoods keep being removed and put back for no good reason and sometimes with a blatant disregard to continuity, not to mention any attempt at credibility. But I think you got the point. The 3 major flaws I mentioned above would kill any movie, so there is no real point punching more holes in that fast sinking boat.

Well, that was a disappointment. But I guess they had to adhere to the Hollywood law that says that in any trilogy, one of the episodes must be stinking bad. Mission accomplished, then.