Monday June 21, 2004

I like marketing. No, not being a marketer but trying to make sense of marketing claims. This blog is by no means complete, but here are some marketing claims and some rather simple-minded analysis. Sometimes we just have to have fun (and this is all tongue-in-cheek).

IBM: IBM should be renamed to "International Business People" or "IBP". A majority of their revenue is in selling people, not machines. IBM's claims are so outrageous that they make an easy target. I couldn't leave it at just one.

IBM: Autonomic Computing. If this were true, IBM wouldn't be making so much money on people. HP & Sun also have their initiatives, but I personally don't think the claims are quite as bold.

IBM: Self Healing. Who installs the self healing patches? Better yet, when will self-healing install patches in general? Why does IBM have a services arm if computers are self-healing? Throw Autonomic Computing and Self healing together and you have the Terminator. Be really, really worried when IBM changes their name to sky-net.

Dell: "Easy as Dell". It doesn't take many Dell servers and desktops before it becomes very hard (and very expensive). It should be "Easy for Dell." How hard is it to throw a label on others equipment?

HP: "HP Invent". Now that's an oxymoron. I have been trying to think of what they have done in the past decade that has really turned the industry on its head. Hmmm. Itanium. Yeah, that's it, Itanium. Yes, they turned the industry on its head. And then dropped it from 10 feet. Luckily, the industry is self-healing.

BEA. "Liquid Computing". This is definitely marketing with an imagination. I'd personally like to see BEA marketing stand in a pool of water and apply electricity. Then we'll see how "liquid" computing really is :) Another twist to liquid computing, anyone know what the computing equivalent to this is?

Oracle. "10g Grids are everywhere". See my blog "Grids Gone Wild!". That says it all

EMC. "Where information lives". It must also be "where information dies". Unless, perhaps, they cryogenically freeze their data. Those big boxes are really freezers. Those service guys are really adding freon.

Sun. "The network is the computer". Ah, that would explain why my home network runs at 2.4Ghz.

Sun TV Ads. If you don't blink during a golf tourney, you'll actually see one. I watch one of our ads and think I am really watching the bloopers. Just wondering where the real commercial is.

Now remember, before you comment, its all about just having some fun.