Worry is one of the most common forms of emotional distress in our culture. Almost everyone spends a considerable amount of present moments worrying about he future. And virtually all of it is for nothing. Obsessive worry will never make things any better. In fact, such worry will very likely help you to be less effective in dealing with the present.
In order to reduce worry, it is necessary to understand the subconscious psychological "payoffs" for choosing to worry in the first place. "I can't do a thing. I'm too worried about ..." This is a common lament, and one with a payoff that keeps you standing still and avoiding the risk of action. Clearly, it is easier, if less rewarding, to worry than to be an active, involved person.
By worrying about someone else, you can label yourself as a caring person. Worry proves that you are a good parent or a spouse ("I can't help worrying -- it is because I love you."). A handsome dividend, although lacking in logical, healthy thinking.
If you weigh too much, you may eat more when you worry; hence, you have a good reason for hanging on to the worry behavior. Similarly, you may find yourself smoking more in troublesome situations, and can use the worry to avoid giving up smoking. The same neurotic reward system also applies to health. It may be easier for you to worry about chest pains than to risk finding out the truth, and then having to deal directly with yourself.
Worry can bring a lot of deseases such as tension headaches and backaches. While these may not seem to be payoffs, they do result in considerable attention from others and justify much self-pity as well. And some people would rather be pitied than fulfilled.
Now that you understand the psychological support system for neurotic worry, you can begin to devise some measures for reducing the number of troublesome worry bugs that breed in this erroneous zone.
Begin to view your present moments as times to live, rather than times to worry about the future. When you catch yourself worrying, ask yourself, "What am I avoiding now by using up this moment with worry?" Then begin to attack whatever it it you're avoiding.
Ask yourself over and over, "Will the future change as a result of my worrying about it?" Try to remember how many of the things you once worried about never become real at all. Also ask yourself:"What's the worst thing that could happen to me (or them), and what is the likelihood of it occurring?" You'll discover the absurdity of most worries in this way.
Act in direct conflict with your usual areas of worry. If you compulsively save for the future, use some money for your own enjoyment today. Enjoy life; don't waste the present with immobilizing thoughts about the future.
These are some techniques for minimizing worry in your life. But the most effective weapon you have i your own determination to drive this neurotic behavior away form your life.
