Tuesday August 31, 2004

AXIOS - He is worthy!

Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a murmuring against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Then the twelve summoned the multitude of the disciples and said, "It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables. Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word." And the saying pleased the whole multitude. And they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit, and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, a proselyte from Antioch, whom they set before the apostles; and when they had prayed, they laid hands on them. And the word of God spread, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were obedient to the faith.

Acts 6:1-7

God-willing and with the blessing of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese, on September 14, 2004 (the Feast of the Elevation of the Holy Cross, the altar feast of his parish), my godfather Frank (Photios) Dickos will be ordained deacon.

I've got him beat, in that regard, by just under 20 years.

He's got me beat, in every other regard well-pleasing to God: for "many who are first will be last, and the last first." (Matthew 19:30)

AXIOS - He is worthy!

(2004-08-31 20:55:33.0) Permalink

Saturday August 28, 2004

Pitch Black at 8 PM

Time is passing, and despite the heat and humidity, summer is almost over.

Most significantly, we took my Lizzie to college yesterday... and left her there.

I'm still in something of a state of shock. The actually dropping-off part was easy enough. Some nice kid helped Marta and Lizzie carry everything up to her third floor room while I circled the campus looking for a parking space, so I dodged a bullet on that one. (You see, the set of stuff contained in 'everything' is much heavier, high-tech-er, and more expensive than the clock radio I showed up with twenty-seven years ago!) When I got there, Marta was lining the drawers with some kind of drawer-liner-paper, and unpacking the suitcases. After I returned from a long expedition in search of a men's room on the girl's floor, I occupied myself by sort of pacing around the small double, trying to stay out of the way. My interpretation of being helpful and parental, supportive but not intrusive. Shortly thereafter, Lizzie announced "okay guys, we're in good shape here, time for you to go!"

(Actually, I forgot to mention the part where I sprinkled her room with holy water and chanted the Troparion of Theophany, "When Thou, O Lord, wast baptized in the Jordan...", which you sing at house blessings. I think she threw us out just after that.)

So that part was mercifully easy.

In fact, the only crises of the day were not having a co-ax cable to plug in the TV/DVD player (see what I mean?) or a cord to hook up the phone. (Obviously not a big deal since she has a brand new cell phone and unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes.)

There have been a few more crises since -- I won't go through the list, 'cause what could be more horrible than having your new friends read about you in your dad's blog (kind of the 21st century equivalent of him showing them your baby pictures) -- but I think they've taken a bigger toll on me than on Lizzie. On Marta too. (Not sure where Joe and the dog stand on the whole thing.) Suffice it to say that it's harder sending your kid off to college than it is going yourself. By an order of magnitude.

Anyway, the nice folks in her dorm handed me their newsletter as they pointed us back to the parking lot. And included in the advice from parents past was a book recommendation, Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller, which is now on order from Amazon.com.

If I could solve all these crises by sending money, I would. Something tells me they're going to be much harder and more interesting than that.

I'll keep you posted!

(2004-08-28 18:22:48.0) Permalink

Tuesday August 24, 2004

Glutton for Punishment

I had dinner last night at one of my very favorite resturants, Evvia Estiatorio. Had the "Arnisia Paidakia - rib-cut, mesquite-grilled lamb chops", which were absolutely brilliant. So rich and well-seasoned, in fact, that I woke up with a bad case of what I do not fondly call "Pascha Belly", that very specific form of early morning dyspepsia you get after eating lots of rich food on Pascha (the Greek/Orthodox word for Easter) after having fasted from meat for some 50 days prior. Spectacular at first, weapon of mass destruction shortly thereafter. Anyway, I haven't been fasting from meat, but my lamb chops were outrageous enough to provoke the same response.

So imagine my surprise this morning, on the exercise bike (a sort of physical means of repentance), when Screwtape writes:

My dear Wormwood,

The contemptuous way in which you spoke of gluttony as a means of catching souls, in your last letter, only shows your ignorance. One of the great achievements of the last hundred years has been to deaden the human conscience on that subject, so that by now you will hardly find a sermon preached or a conscience troubled about it in the whole length and breadth of Europe.

Letter 17

Great. Nailed. By a guy who passed away when I was three.

Fortunately, there was some good news for me further down in the letter. Apparently, delicacy -- fussiness over what you eat, however much or little -- is a much bigger deal than the pigging out itself. In fact, Screwtape tells his nephew, "Mere excess in food is much less valuable [to the demons] than delicacy."

Phew.

"Its chief use is as a kind of artillery preparation for attacks on chastity."

Oh crikey...

Watercress salad for me tonight then, for sure.

Or maybe tomorrow. Tonight, I'm off to Kabul, quite possibly for whatever they call lamb chops in Afghanistan. Maybe I just need a Zantac before I go to bed!

(2004-08-24 19:03:17.0) Permalink

Monday August 23, 2004

The Power of Nothing

When I go on vacation, I find it takes me a few days to wind down. (Since weekends are a small, two day vacation, this can be a real problem!) There's always the temptation to pop into the home office, fire up the workstation, and see what came in the mail. Even when I don't really want to, I find I'm drawn to check in, even to catch up on mailing lists ('aliases', in Sun-speak) I don't need to read, and didn't -- until just suddenly -- feel the urge to catch up on.

I guess C. S. Lewis observed the same thing in himself or in others around him, observed how powerful this attraction to 'Nothing' can be.

Screwtape writes:

The Christians describe the Enemy [God, from Screwtape's perspective] as one 'without whom Nothing is strong.' And Nothing is very strong; strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance asociation has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off.

How bad can this be? Focusing on 'Nothing', instead of on something -- anything! -- that's real, that matters, that pertains to the present moment or to eternity? Anything, even, that brings real joy? Screwtape writes to his nephew:

You will say that these are very small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one -- the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

Letter 12

Something to think about, next time I get the unexplained urge just to "check messages"...

(2004-08-23 09:39:43.0) Permalink Comments [1]

Saturday August 21, 2004

Thy Will Be Done

I teach the adult education class at St. George Orthodox Cathedral, and classes start up again on September 12. For most of the last two years, we worked -- and I mean worked -- our way through Fr. Alexander Schmemann's The Eucharist. It was a brilliant book; as Father's life's work, it could be no less. But as it was unfinished, and therefore, unedited, at the time of his death in 1983 (half-way through my three years at Seminary, so I did study with him in the classroom and in the chapel), it made for some rough going, even for very dedicated and theologically curious parishioners.

So this year, we decided to tackle something a little lighter, a little more fun -- and chose C. S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. I'm re-reading the book in preparation for the class (my secret of teaching is to stay one chapter ahead of the rest of the class at all times -- don't tell!!), having read it for the first time probably 30 years ago. And as I'm reading it, I'm realizing how much it has colored and affected my own sensibilities, and how bits and pieces of it have, unconsciously, worked their ways into my sermons over the past 20 years.

I'm only part-way through, but a passage struck me yesterday, and I wanted to share it with you. It has to do with facing fears and bearing crosses, with which things anyone living in this day and age and "the present anxiety and suspense" are certainly familiar, even if they use different words to describe them. Screwtape, an old and experienced devil, and under-secretary of a nameless department in the service of "Our Father Below", is writing to his nephew Wormwood, a junior tempter in the same service, giving him advice on the temptation of Wormwood's "patient". So when he says "The Enemy", he is in fact referring to God.

Screwtape writes:

Your patient will, of course, have picked up the notion that he must submit with patience to the Enemy's will. What the Enemy means by this is primarily that he should accept with patience the tribulation which has actually been dealt out to him -- the present anxiety and suspense. It is about this that he is to say "Thy will be done", and for the daily task of bearing this that the daily bread will be provided. It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross, but only of the things he is afraid of. Let him regard them as his crosses: let him forget that, since they are incompatible, they cannot all happen to him, and let him try to practise fortitude and patience to them all in advance. For real resignation, at the same moment, to a dozen different and hypothetical fates, is almost impossible, and the Enemy does not greatly assist those who are trying to attain it: resignation to present and actual suffering, even where that suffering consists of fear, is easier and is usually helped by this direct action.

Letter 6

How less anxious would I be if I resigned myself to the featherweight cross I actually bear, rather than the dozen redwood-sized "different and hypothetical fates" I find myself losing sleep over? And how much more "direct action" could I avail myself of if I asked for help with the things I really need to deal with, versus (to borrow an image from Harry Potter) the boggart in the closet?

This is why so many Orthodox refer to the Anglican Lewis as "our father among the saints."

(2004-08-21 08:25:19.0) Permalink Comments [2]

Wednesday August 18, 2004

Olympic Magic

Well, I'm here doing what I used to do every four years (when the Summer and Winter Olympics fell during the same year), and now, every two (as they alternate): staying up way too late each night, unable to tear myself away from the unfolding dramas. I have to force myself to sit down each night to watch. Not because I don't enjoy it, but because it's so easy to try to catch up on my email, pay the bills, putter around the house (work on the blog... :) -- and it's so important to watch what's going on on this global stage. Even if it's keeping me up, night after night, way past my bedtime.

With a few occasional exceptions -- like Tanya Harding's crew going after Nancy Kerrigan's knee with a hammer a few years back -- it's all about the sport, all about these beautiful kids, representing their countries and their generation, ultimately representing all of us, and the best in us. Yeah okay, I'm sure there's a lot of messing around when it comes to picking the host cities. But those are the grown ups. The kids, they're just in it to see how far they can push the envelope, how far they can push themselves.

Though they obviously still have their issues -- and big ones -- the North and South Korean teams marched into the Olympic Stadium together last Friday during the opening ceremonies. Wouldn't it be cool if the Israeli's and the Palestinians could do the same thing? The US and... anybody but Great Britain?!

I have this feeling that if all those guys out there chanting "Death to America" could put together an Olympic team, and just play with the rest of us, things would be better. If we all could just set aside our differences for two weeks, and sit back and enjoy watching the world's best doing what they do best, I suspect anything would be possible.

Hey, Paul Hamm just took gymnastics gold and proved it. (And just as cool -- you can read all about it in The People's Daily!)

(2004-08-18 20:55:53.0) Permalink

Tuesday August 17, 2004

Walkie Talkie

Would you believe I forgot to mention, in my review of the Sony Ericsson T637, it does Bluetooth?! (As well as infrared, GPRS, USB, etc.) I picked up this snappy little Motorola wireless headset today, and by setting up voice commands on the phone, I can pretty much call anybody without taking the phone out of its case. Push a button on the headset, say a name, and it's dialing for dollars. I can even check my voicemail, now that I've uncovered the secret of the missing 'p'.

Okay, I think I'm finished now. :)

[GET IT]

(2004-08-17 19:46:28.0) Permalink

Sunday August 15, 2004

Sony Ericsson T637 Camera Phone

Way back when, I mentioned that I had my eye on a new cell phone. A (literally) shiny new Sony Ericsson T637 camera phone. Its color is described as "Liquid Black", and the designers used black, clear, and mirrored surfaces to great effect: this is one snappy gadget. Yeah, I gave in last Thursday and traded up from my "old" Nokia 3560.

Overview: Ostensibly, I traded up because I wanted to switch to a Cingular Wireless calling plan with Rollover Minutes (what you don't use this month carries over for use in subsequent months), and the only way they'll put you on a new plan these days is if you purchase a GSM phone, as they're trying to migrate their subscriber base over to the better technology. (I'm not actually sure it's newer -- the US is seriously lagging in this regard, with the rest of the world having standardized on GSM years ago.) But I also moved because of the more obvious Java support (like a big Java Powered logo that takes the screen when you launch a Java app, and a smaller logo in what would be the menu bar area on a PC), and the included killer Java app, a real Instant Messenging client. The whole network connection model (GPRS) is different and better, with usage based on packet transfer rather than the sort of clock-is-ticking, "dialup connection" provided by the older Nokia. Also... just look at the two of them. No brainer doesn't begin to cover it. Looking at the Nokia is like looking at my leisure suit high school graduation picture from... em... a while back. What was I thinking?! (Let me be fair, though. The Nokia did what it did flawlessly, and I had it thoroughly customized to my tastes and preferences. And at the time I got it, which was not all that long ago, it really was state of the art, including Java. I'm sure if I compared the new phone with last year's Sony Ericcson, their older phone would suffer equally by comparison.)

Migration Issues: It took a couple of days to get (mostly) migrated over to the new phone. The bulk of the transition was obviated by the VoiceConnect service I described in an earlier posting; i.e., with the exception of the ten or so entries I keep stored on the phone itself, everything else in my Pilot address book is in sync with the VoiceConnect service. One glitch: when they moved me from my current calling plan to the new one, they initially neglected to transfer VoiceConnect to the new contract. (Not for lack of asking on my part. :) While it only took one call to customer service to reenable me, I appeared to VoiceConnect to be a new customer -- i.e., empty address book. Would have been a big bummer if it wasn't all in my Pilot, quickly restored upon the first new sync. You can tell VoiceConnect to confirm any changes and deletions prior to completing the sync, which is always a good idea. (My nightmare scenario was VoiceConnect 'updating' the Pilot to a clean slate, but it did the right thing and worked flawlessly.)

On the down side: I miss the one-touch dialing Nokia offered, for nine select numbers in my phone book. You could press and hold the numbers 2 through 9 and the linked entries would be automatically dialed. With the Sony Ericsson, you hit 2 through 9 and then press the Call button and the same thing happens, but it's two touches instead of one. If you press and hold 2 through 9, the phone book opens up to the entry beginning with the associated letter of the alphabet. I.e., press 2, and the phone book opens to 'A'. On both the Nokia and the Sony Ericsson, pressing and holding 1 connects you to your voice mail. Which brings me to the second thing I didn't like, or at least struggled with. There's no documentation on how to enter a 'p' (short pause) in your dialing string. Without said 'p', retrieving your voicemail means that after auto-dialing the phone number, you have to enter the rest of the lengthy sequence by hand. Not good, especially with me behind the wheel, and all the problems I have walking and chewing gum and such. Fortunately, the second guy I talked to at Sony Ericsson (Cingular and the first S.E. tech support rep had no idea) told me to press and hold the number 7 (which is associated with 'p' on the phone pad), and it worked like a charm. Would have been so much easier to include it in the documentation. And the third thing, though this is just a nit: when the code sequence is being transmitted -- i.e., any numbers following the 'p' -- you can't hear them. It's silent... and you wait, not knowing if the right thing is happening in the background, or if you've been disconnected. I prefer to hear the comforting chirps in the background. Minor nit, like I said.

On the up side: In every other way, though, I much prefer this phone to the older Nokia. There's room for more of everything: voice commands, voice dialing names, phone book entries, everything. The screen is much easier to read in any kind of light (the Nokia's was impossible to read without the backlight on), and its color and resolution are beautiful. The quality of the games is resultingly much higher; though they only include one, it's practically arcade quality. There are plenty of links to Cingular's site for downloads of games, ringtones, graphics, etc., so it's quite a solvable problem. I downloaded a snappy polyphonic ringtone (ZZ Top's "Cheap Sunglasses"), and the Cingular service is kind enough to let you take failed attempts off your direct bill yourself via their My Wireless Window portal, without having to wait for customer service to open (assuming you do this all late at night, like I do!) or navigate the voicemail tree. In fact, the portal is the only way to do it; customer service will send you there when you finally do get through to them. The WAP browser is tolerable -- faster under this network service than the Nokia's, and again, you're connecting and paying by the volume of data transfered, not by the minutes connected.

Instant Messaging: The Instant Messenging client, which offers two or three alternative services in addition to AIM, works well, or at least as well as the AIM service itself. (I have occasional trouble connecting with the AIM servers via my TIK and GAIM clients, and my success rate is similar over the phone.) But seeing my buddy list, and who's on line at any given moment, is a thing of beauty. You can even tell AIM to forward incoming messages to your phone, and it puts up a special phone icon next to your name on your friends' buddy lists when you're logged in. (Again, because it's a packet transfer scheme vs. a dialup connection, you can stay logged in relatively indefinitely without running up the national debt on your phone bill.) You are automatically provided with a "Mobile Device" category on your AIM buddy list, and any screen names you list there will appear on your phone. It's a relatively decent way to deal with the lack of screen real estate on the phone, vs. the hundreds of names you may keep on your PC. (And by the way, when I say PC, I mean in the generic sense. I use Java Desktop System today, and I'm a Mac guy from way back, former Apple higher ed reseller, former Apple employee. My favorite desktop, bar none, is a JavaCard on SunRay, but if I have to be my own sysadmin, I'd take JDS or a Mac any day of the week. Actually, with JDS's new centralized software management and configuration capabilities, I can use a whizzy laptop and still leave the driving to somebody else -- the best of both worlds.)

Camera Features: Finally, it is a camera phone, so if you're buying it for its photographic capabilities, I should mention that... em... National Geographic is not going to be publishing what you shoot with it. There are three choices of resolution, 120x160, 288x352, and a (whopping :) 480x640, and a number of special effects including black & white and sepia. They include a little convex mirror right next to the lens, so if you are inclined to shoot arm's length pictures of your own mug, they make it possible not to cut anything off. Weird, but handy, I suppose, if you're short on willing and capable friends. There is a flash unit available as an add-on, but I suspect that would be overkill. This is great for snapping pictures of your friends and associating them with names in your phone book (matched to Caller ID), so that when so-and-so is calling, their face shows up on your screen. I would not ditch the Nikon and trash the Kodachrome just yet if you are serious about photography.

But let's be reasonable here. After a $50 rebate, the phone costs $80 -- and for that, it provides a wealth of convenience, utility and fun in a very small, very stylish package.

This one's a keeper.

[GET IT]

(2004-08-15 18:01:15.0) Permalink

Friday August 13, 2004

The Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest (Part 3)

Okay, so why am I going on and on (and on and on) about fasting? Why is it such a big deal? (One big caveat here: I talk a good game, but dollars to...em... doughnuts, I won't be referred to as "the blessed ascetic" when I'm gone! So please, do as I say, not as I do.)

There are a dozen reasons. Maybe even a baker's dozen. First and foremost, because Jesus fasted (Mt. 4:1-2), for forty days straight as a matter of fact; and because He told us to fast.

Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

Mt. 6:16-18

Note that the operative point is "when you fast", not "if you fast".

Apart from these, though, there are two reasons that came to mind as I was thinking about the Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest.

First, we have to recognize that eating is much more than a physical thing, the simple meeting of a biological need. If you think about it, the worst thing that ever happened to the human race came about as the result of "bad eating": Eve and the forbidden fruit. (I think I mentioned once before, the bible never says it was an apple.) And the best thing that ever happened to the human race came about as the result of "good eating": the Last Supper. In fact, the very image Jesus uses to describe the Kingdom of God is that of a wedding feast. What we eat, and when we eat, and even how we eat, makes a difference. It is a physical activity with great spiritual consequences. "What we do in life echoes in eternity." (From the Gladiator, not the Gospel, but he makes a good point.)

And second -- and this is just common sense, not deep theology -- when you love someone, you do what they ask. Out of love and out of simple respect. You don't, or you shouldn't, have to have them explain it to you, even justify it to you, over and over again. (Any parent will tell you that "Because I asked you to" is a perfectly acceptable answer to more questions than you'd think.) God tells the Jews what they may and may not eat, and He's very clear that "the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you. Their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch. They are unclean to you." (Lev. 11:7-8)

Eleazar takes this seriously. As does Solomonia, and as do her seven sons. So seriously, in fact, that they would and did give their lives rather than break this commandment. This is serious stuff. Eleazar goes further, in fact, and refuses even to pretend to eat the forbidden food, for fear of scandalizing those who would be weakened in their own faith because of it:

Those who were in charge of that unlawful sacrifice took the man aside, because of their long acquaintance with him, and privately urged him to bring meat of his own providing, proper for him to use, and pretend that he was eating the flesh of the sacrificial meal which had been commanded by the king, so that by doing this he might be saved from death, and be treated kindly on account of his old friendship with them. But making a high resolve, worthy of his years and the dignity of his old age and the gray hairs which he had reached with distinction and his excellent life even from childhood, and moreover according to the holy God-given law, he declared himself quickly, telling them to send him to Hades.

"Such pretense is not worthy of our time of life," he said, "lest many of the young should suppose that Eleazar in his ninetieth year has gone over to an alien religion, and through my pretense, for the sake of living a brief moment longer, they should be led astray because of me, while I defile and disgrace my old age. For even if for the present I should avoid the punishment of men, yet whether I live or die I shall not escape the hands of the Almighty. Therefore, by manfully giving up my life now, I will show myself worthy of my old age and leave to the young a noble example of how to die a good death willingly and nobly for the revered and holy laws."

When he had said this, he went at once to the rack. And those who a little before had acted toward him with good will now changed to ill will, because the words he had uttered were in their opinion sheer madness. When he was about to die under the blows, he groaned aloud and said: "It is clear to the Lord in his holy knowledge that, though I might have been saved from death, I am enduring terrible sufferings in my body under this beating, but in my soul I am glad to suffer these things because I fear him." So in this way he died, leaving in his death an example of nobility and a memorial of courage, not only to the young but to the great body of his nation.

2 Maccabees 7:21-31

His example of nobility and his memorial of courage are left to us as well -- of whom, by comparison, so little is asked -- to inspire us to offer our eating: what we eat, and when we eat, and even how we eat, to his God and ours.

(2004-08-13 11:38:50.0) Permalink

Thursday August 12, 2004

The New Face of MIT

Check it out: Beauty & the Geek: When Stereotypes Collide.

This is not the MIT that I remember. My classmates looked more like Click & Clack, or the late actor Erland Van Lidth. (I couldn't find a picture of him online, but the fact that he played characters named "Fatty", "Grossberger", and "Terror" should tell you something.)

James Woods, there's another MIT icon. Or Tom Scholz. Check out those legs!

Dolph Lundgren, now there's a step in the right direction. In fact, he and I were often mistaken for each other back in our 'Tute days. I would take his finals for him, he would spot me in the gym.

Maybe Miss Massachusetts isn't so newsworthy as all that...

(2004-08-12 09:04:20.0) Permalink

Wednesday August 11, 2004

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

WARNING: This little number is rated PG-13.

Philip K. Dick answered this question in his book of the same title back in 1968. (This book, by the way, was the inspiration for Ridley Scott's Blade Runner.) So the question of the day is, "What do deacons dream about when they have anxiety dreams?"

Last night's was a doozey.

I'm at my church in Worcester, and the bishop is there. (I won't say which one, but not one of the ones in our archdiocese. This is a purely fictional dream.) I've prepared the chalice for him prior to the start of the service, and he looks at it and says to me, "Would you mind emptying that out for me, and putting in something with a bit more of a kick to it?" (I am not making this up!)

I hold up a bottle of Jack Daniel's, but he wants to stay in the wine family, so Fr. Mike comes up with a bottle of something pink. I would have figured that chablis (that's pink, isn't it?) would have less of a kick than the Taylor Port we ordinarily use, but I'm not much of a wine guy, so you can't count on me to get it right in my dream.

In the mean time, I'm in the back of the church, still looking around for wine alternatives. And just looking around in general. Very relaxed. I look at my watch. It's three minutes to 10, but I figure I'm fine since the service doesn't start 'till 10:30.

Then I remember that the service starts at 10:00, not 10:30. Oops.

I bolt to the front of the church, and make it there just in time to hear the archdeacon do the first set of petitions. (Once again, the archdeacon is nobody from our archdiocese. And I remind you, this is a fictional dream. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, yadda yadda yadda...) It's my turn to do the next set of petitions, but as he looks (actually, glares) over at me, I realize that I'm standing there in my blue boxers, and that'd be about it.

I look over at him and mouth the words "I'm going to go put on a cassock, okay? Can you take this one?"

He glares at me again as I go running off to some dusty storeroom, looking for my suitcase (in which I keep my cassock, vestments, etc.). I find one that looks like my suitcase, but it's the wrong size, and when I open it up, of course, no cassock.

At that point, I woke up in a cold sweat.

Life was so much easier when all I had to be anxious about was sleeping through a final exam, or turning up at school in my pajamas...

(2004-08-11 07:42:33.0) Permalink Comments [2]

Sunday August 08, 2004

The Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest (Part 2)

We left our story with Solomonia, the mother of the "Seven Maccabees", watching her sons being martyred one by one for their faith in God and their resulting refusal to eat sacrificial pork ("the other forbidden food"). The first six, from eldest to the next-to-youngest, defied the mad King and were killed, leaving the seventh and youngest child, Solomonia's only remaining son. The author of 2 Maccabees writes of her:

The mother was especially admirable and worthy of honorable memory. Though she saw her seven sons perish within a single day [six thus far], she bore it with good courage because of her hope in the Lord. She encouraged each of them in the language of their fathers. Filled with a noble spirit, she fired her woman's reasoning with a man's courage, and said to them, "I do not know how you came into being in my womb. It was not I who gave you life and breath, nor I who set in order the elements within each of you. Therefore the Creator of the world, who shaped the beginning of man and devised the origin of all things, will in his mercy give life and breath back to you again, since you now forget yourselves for the sake of his laws."

2 Maccabees 7:20-23

Please don't hold the "man's courage" thing against him; he was writing 2200 years ago, and no doubt he would agree that Solomonia was more courageous than 99% of the men who ever lived. Me, I freak out at the sight of a splinter, so she's got me beat hands down.

At this point, the king is furious. He's zero for six in converting the boys, and Solomonia has only made matters worse by encouraging them. He has one chance left, with the youngest son -- who, according to the Prolog, is just three years old -- and he doesn't want to blow it. He promises him riches and rewards, and then pressures the mother to talk some sense into him. "After much urging on his part [we can only imagine what that entailed], she undertook to persuade her son." (v. 26) And so she speaks to him "in their native tongue" (v. 27), Hebrew, which the Greek king cannot understand, and says to him:

My son, have pity on me. I carried you nine months in my womb, and nursed you for three years [talk about courage!!], and have reared you and brought you up to this point in your life, and have taken care of you. I beseech you, my child, to look at the heaven and the earth and see everything that is in them, and recognize that God did not make them out of things that existed. Thus also mankind comes into being. Do not fear this butcher, but prove worthy of your brothers. Accept death, so that in God's mercy I may get you back again with your brothers.

vv. 27-29

Not only is she courageous, she's also a ground-breaking theologian. Her remark that "God did not make [the heaven and the earth and everything that is in them] out of things that existed" is the first direct biblical teaching that God created ex nihilo, that is, "out of nothing" (rather than from things which pre-existed along with Himself), which is a fundamental doctrine of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Compare with the opening verses of Genesis: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters." (Gen. 1:1-2) What deep? What waters? God didn't created the seas until verse 9, on the third day of creation. Genesis, written much earlier than 2 Maccabees, is much less clear on ex nihilo. Kudos to Solomonia.

But back to the story. Inspired by his older brothers, and by his mother and her strengthening words, the three-year old proceeds to lambaste the king for eight verses (he goes on longer and in much more detail than his brothers!):

What are you waiting for? I will not obey the king's command, but I obey the command of the law that was given to our fathers through Moses. But you, who have contrived all sorts of evil against the Hebrews, will certainly not escape the hands of God. For we are suffering because of our own sins. And if our living Lord is angry for a little while, to rebuke and discipline us, he will again be reconciled with his own servants. But you, unholy wretch, you most defiled of all men, do not be elated in vain and puffed up by uncertain hopes, when you raise your hand against the children of heaven. You have not yet escaped the judgment of the almighty, all-seeing God. For our brothers after enduring a brief suffering have drunk of everflowing life under God's covenant; but you, by the judgment of God, will receive just punishment for your arrogance. I, like my brothers, give up body and life for the laws of our fathers, appealing to God to show mercy soon to our nation and by afflictions and plagues to make you confess that he alone is God, and through me and my brothers to bring to an end the wrath of the Almighty which has justly fallen on our whole nation."

vv. 30-38

before he is tortured more brutally than his brothers, and meets his end.

"Last of all, the mother died, after her sons," (v. 41) continues 2 Maccabees, though the Prologue relates the tradition that "she leaped into the flames and was consumed in the fire rendering her soul to God": further testimony -- as if it were necessary! -- to her "man's courage."

"Let this be enough, then, about the eating of sacrifices and the extreme tortures" (v. 42) -- though I shall return to talk about why fasting is so important, as much for us as it was for the Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest.

(2004-08-08 14:55:15.0) Permalink

Thursday August 05, 2004

The Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest (Part I)

On August 1, as the Orthodox Church enters the Dormition Fast, we remember the Jewish martyrs known as "The Seven Maccabees, their Mother Solomonia and Eleazar the Priest."

From "The Prologue from Ochrid" (select August 1):

They all suffered for the purity of the faith of Israel under King Antiochus, called by some "Epiphanos," the "enlightened one" and by others "Epimanis" the "insane one." Because of the great sins in Jerusalem and especially the vying over priestly authority and crimes committed during the occasion of this struggle, God permitted a great calamity on the Holy City. After that, Antiochus wanted by any means to impose upon the Jews the idolatry of the Hellenes in place of their faith in the one living God and he did everything toward this goal. Assisting Antiochus in his intention were some treacherous high priests and other elders of Jerusalem. On one occasion, King Antiochus himself came to Jerusalem and ordered that all Jews eat the meat of swine, contrary to the Law of Moses, for eating pork was an apparent sign that one has disowned the faith of Israel. The elder Eleazar, a priest and one of the seventy translators of the Old Testament into the Greek language [the Septuagint] would not partake of pork. Because of that, Eleazar was tortured and burned. Returning to Antioch, the king took with him the seven sons called the Maccabees and their mother Solomonia. The seven Maccabean brothers were called: Avim, Antonius, Eleazar, Gurius, Eusebon, Achim and Marcellus. Before the eyes of their mother, the wicked king tortured the sons, one by one, ripping the skin from their faces and, afterward, casting them into the fire. They all bravely endured torture and death but they did not disown their faith. Finally, when the mother saw her last son, the three-year old in the fire, she leaped into the flames and was consumed in the fire rendering her soul to God. They all suffered honorably for the faith in the one living God about one hundred eighty years before Christ.

You can read the full account of their (prototypical) martyrdom in the apocryphal/deuterocanonical "2 Maccabees". 2 Maccabees does not appear in the Hebrew scriptures themselves (and thus does not appear in the Old Testament sections of most English bibles) as it was originally written in Greek, and first entered the biblical canon as part of the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew scriptures which was prepared for the Greek-speaking (i.e., no-longer-Hebrew-speaking) Jews of Alexandria about 250 B.C. According to the Prologue above, Eleazar helped to translate the Septuagint, being one of the "Seventy" Jewish scholars whose number gave it its name. You can find the account of the martyrdom in Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 of 2 Maccabees, and it is well worth your time to read.

One of the interesting things you'll notice, if you do, is that it is clear that by the time the events described took place (about 180 B.C., per the Prologue), the Jews had some conception of life after death, in which the righteous would be rewarded, and the unrightous, punished.

When the second son was put to the test, he replied to Antiochus, "You accursed wretch, you dismiss us from this present life, but the King of the universe will raise us up to an everlasting renewal of life, because we have died for his laws." (2 Maccabees 7:9)

The third son made it clear that he was expecting not just a spiritual, but a bodily resurrection: "When it was demanded, he quickly put out his tongue and courageously stretched forth his hands, and said nobly, 'I got these from Heaven, and because of his laws I disdain them, and from him I hope to get them back again.'" (vv. 10-11)

The fourth son said, "One cannot but choose to die at the hands of men and to cherish the hope that God gives of being raised again by him. But for you there will be no resurrection to life!" (v. 14) Not quite the Johanine teaching that both the righteous and unrighteous will be raised ("The hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth--those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation." -- John 5:28-29), but it's not bad for 200 years before Christ.

The fifth and sixth sons warned of punishments for Antiochus and his progeny:

But [the fifth son] looked at the king, and said, "Because you have authority among men, mortal though you are, you do what you please. But do not think that God has forsaken our people. Keep on, and see how his mighty power will torture you and your descendants!"

After him they brought forward the sixth. And when he was about to die, he said, "Do not deceive yourself in vain. For we are suffering these things on our own account, because of our sins against our own God. Therefore astounding things have happened. But do not think that you will go unpunished for having tried to fight against God!"

2 Maccabees 7:16-19

Much more to say on this (are you surprised?!), but the hour is late. I'll come back and talk about Solomonia, their long-suffering mother, in the next installment.

(2004-08-05 19:20:53.0) Permalink

Wednesday August 04, 2004

Who knew he could even type?

POTUS blogging? Unbelievable. Check out George's Blog, and read about the CIA's reaction.

I wonder if he can key the launch codes right into the iMac, or if he still drags along that guy with "the football"?

(2004-08-04 14:50:54.0) Permalink

Tuesday August 03, 2004

J. K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5)

As of last night, just around midnight, I finished the most recent (and thickest) volume in the Harry Potter series, which was one of my mother's last gifts to us. She was a huge Harry Potter fan, and had pre-ordered "Order of the Phoenix" from her local Borders bookstore. She gave it to us to read first, and in the end, never got to read it herself. I actually don't think this is as sad as it sounds.

My wife, and some friends who've read this book, had reported to me that they didn't like it as much as the earlier volumes, that it was "darker". I agree. The premise is that Voldemort and his Death Eater friends are back; that the Ministry of Magic is in major league denial about it; and that Dumbledore and Harry are being persecuted as a result, the truth being something the Ministry does not want the wizarding community to hear. It is an extension of the darkness that fell at the end of Book 4.

Yet that isn't why I didn't like it as much as the others.

I didn't like it because Harry is a monochromatic pain in the ass from start to finish.

I understand that he is growing up. He's fifteen years old as he enters his fifth year at Hogwarts, and as J. K. Rowling's children are a bit younger, she has to imagine, I think, what it's like to have a fifteen year old boy around the house. I actually have one, his name is Joe, and he's a whole lot more fun to be with than Harry is these days. He has his ups and downs, like any teenager does (even us grown ups!), but he's not angry every day. He doesn't treat every grownup with flagrante disrespecto, whether they have been his cruelest tormentor (Professor Snape) or his kindest mentor (Professor Dumbledore). Harry is mean to his girlfriend (it is possible to not 'get' girls and still be nice to them), mean to his allies (Ginny, Neville, and Luna Lovegood as his 'outer' circle of friends), and mean to Snape, even when he learns that the latter, in fact, has had every reason to dislike and mistrust him. He bloody well owes Snape an apology, and I'm really ticked off that he didn't offer one by the end of the 870th page. Grow up, Harry! Stop being such a whiney hiney.

I also have to confess that I was not as devastated by the tragic climax of the book as perhaps I should have been. I am probably more to blame for this than Rowling. Perhaps because of my own loss, I was less sympathetic to a fictional one; perhaps because Newsweek spoiled things by announcing who died in their review of the third movie (I think it was in a magazine sidebar, so you can read this version of the review without ruining it for yourself); perhaps because that person's behavior in Book 5 was so overtly self-destructive, you don't have to be Sybil Trelawney to have seen it coming a mile off. For whatever reason, while Harry was reduced to an even angrier and bitter...er cur at the end of the book, all I felt was more irritation because of it.

For all this, however, it was still a great read, and I would still highly recommend it. The plot is outstanding; the pacing, perfect -- and there are a raft of new characters to delight and entertain. On the evil side, Dolores Jane Umbridge is spectacularly drawn, as are the black members of the Black family tree, and Kreacher, their marginally sane house elf. On the good side, how can you not love Nymphodora Tonks, a metamorph not much older than Harry and his friends, with a very "lively" sense of style? (A punk Auror. How cool is that?!) Luna Lovegood is a treat to meet, and the perfect foil for Hermione's steadfast sensibility. And Remus Lupin and Minerva McGonagall are fleshed out in some endearing ways, as are the Weasley twins, Fred and George. Even Ginny Weasley comes out of her shell. There's much more to like in this book than not to like.

So my hope is that Harry has a restful summer, scores decently on his O.W.L.s, and returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year in a slightly better frame of mind. Get back with Cho. Be fair to Snape. Just chill out.

In the mean time, I'm glad my mom had better memories of him than this book would have left her with.

[GET IT]

(2004-08-03 12:20:26.0) Permalink