For me, near death experiences are situations where you get that special indescribable feeling that you get when you know you have just a few more seconds of life left. It sounds grim, but I've learned to live with it, and "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - Friedrich Neitzche or Worf from Star Trek
By Guns and Knives
I was 9 or 10. My Uncle and I hiked through the snow to check the muskrat traps at my other Uncle's back lake at his farm in Illinois. Nothing. After we checked and reset the traps, we decided to do a little target practice with the single shot lever action 22 caliber rifle. My grandmother always said you shouldn't need more than one shot. My Uncle threw a cattail out onto the frozen lake. It slid and ended up about 100 feet away, then he handed me the rifle. I took a shot and connected (beginners luck). He nodded in approval. I took another shot. It was off target a few inches to the left, and I heard the distinctive ricochet sound. I shrugged and prepared to take another shot, but before I could pull the trigger my Uncle reached over and push the barrel down, and pointed to my left. A cattail two feet over, but at the same height as our heads was sheared off. We hadn't cut that one. This is when I got the near death feeling. My Uncle decided we should practice someplace else.
While in high school, I worked as a pizza maker along with my friends at a local Noble Roman's restaurant.
One night, as we were closing up, and I was doing some dishes, one of our older friends, who was in the process of becoming a deputy sheriff strolled in and proceeded to point his very shiny, very large 44 magnum pistol at my head, and saying, "Take a look at this!". I got the near death feeling, and froze, and as calmly as I could, asked if he knew that his gun was loaded? Which was very clear from my perspective looking into the barrel under the bright lights and seeing the unmistakable silhouette of a hollow-point round. Based on his expression. He didn't know.
I was in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1996 waiting for a train to Cape Town. I was tired even though I stayed at a nice hotel the night before. I found it hard to sleep with the constant handgun fire. But, I was also tired of waiting at the train station, so I decided to do a walkabout and see if I could find a bank to get a few more Krugerrands. As I walked out of the train station, I noticed the central police station and took a right onto a busy New York like street. After I got about a half block, I noticed, in my peripheral vision, three twenty year olds changing direction and beginning to trail me. Classic newbie muggers. I didn't react to it, since I had just walked past the police station and every other store entrance had a man with a shotgun to discourage robbers. Plus, there were people every where and it was 12 noon. But, as I entered the next block, they were on me. One stuck a long kitchen knife at my throat, another went for my wallet in my my front pants pocket, and the third went for my army backpack. Everything happened at once, including the near death feeling, and time slowed to a crawl. Without thinking, I put a death grip on the guy with the knife and the one going for my wallet. I didn't worry about the backpack, because the stupid clasps on the thing were normally impossible for me to open as well. There the four of us were frozen in a death dance on the sidewalk on a hot day in Joburg thinking what to do next. Luckily I had fifty pounds more weight than any one of them, so I didn't feel too unbalanced. But, it was still very tense, and I was starting to get angry that no one was lending a hand. The knife was an inch or two from my neck, and it was clear that the one holding it was putting everything he had into driving it home. I increased clenching his wrist. His expression told me he was going to have a bruise, but he just kept on coming. I was just about ready to throw everyone, including myself, through a nearby plate glass window to free myself from this annoying situation, when, I finally got around to yelling for help. Help or Police with an American accent didn't do much. But, when I yelled police a few times in my best fake Afrikaans accent, I got a response, and let them go as they disengaged and ran away. No damage done. The whole incident took 30 seconds max. I walked around the next block and went back to the train station and waited for my train.
Lions and Tigers and Bears
I was senior patrol leader in boy scouts at
Camp Karankawa in Texas. We stayed in large two person canvas tents and slept on cots in our sleeping bags.
It was a great camp, and I was able to complete five merit badges while I was there. It was the last day, and my bunk mate and I were in the process of preparing to take down our tent, when we noticed some movement under my cot. We investigated and found six inch long "worms" that snapped at us. We gathered them up and put them into a can. There were nine or ten of them. We took them outside to get a better look. They had beautiful gray and black skin and had well defined heads and good muscle tone for being so small. The thing we couldn't figure out was, why they were so feisty. Every time we tried to touch them, they would snap at us. So far, we hadn't gotten bit, but they got close a few times. Our scoutmaster saw us and walked up to see what was going on. He bent down to examine one of the "worms". He said, "Those are
timber rattlesnakes". This is when we got the near death feeling. Then he told us to kill them and walked away. We did, then continued taking taking down the tent. Apparently, I had been sleeping over a nest of rattlesnakes for a week.
In 1987, my parents and I took a trip to California to attend one of my cousins wedding's. On the way home, we camped at
Sequoia National Park for a night. Before dinner, around 6:00 pm, I walked a mile or so down the trail and sat down on one of the wooden benches that surrounded the base of the worlds biggest tree
General Sherman. It was a lovely evening, and I enjoyed taking in all the beauty alone in the woods. After a short time, even the crows left, which had been cawing every few minutes. I was totally alone. It became very still and quiet and the air had a special refreshing feeling I have only experienced among the giant sequoia and redwood trees. Just then, a terrible noise erupted about 150 feet directly behind me. For some reason I will never know, I didn't react to it. I just kept facing the magnificent tree in front of me. The noise behind me grew in intensity, and included very deep grunts and howls and indescribable angry animal sounds I will never forget.
And there was a thrashing and great disturbance in the earth that caused tremors that I felt throughout my body even though I was far from where they occurred. Then, the beast came towards me. I still had no inclination to turn around, but the hair on the back of my neck stood straight, and I got the feeling my life would last only a few more seconds. Its approach was louder than the noises that came before and continued to grow in intensity. It was so loud that it echoed in this forest of giants. In less than three seconds, it was directly behind me, so close I felt its breath huffing and puffing at me. This
bear was BIG, based on the angle its breath was hitting me (once an engineer, always an engineer). It stood there, completely enraged and making terrifying sounds, just waiting for me to make the slightest move. But, I didn't. And, now I understood, why my primitive brain choose not to react. I felt the bear change positions based upon the change in sounds and air movement. It continued to make various growls and howls each more terrifying than the next. But, I gave it no interest. And, after a few more seconds, it stopped completely and just stood there totally silent, waiting for me to move. I did nothing. And, after a few more seconds, it slowly withdrew, back to where it had originated, softly grunting and thrashing the leaves as it did. Quiet returned to the forest, and I got up and walked (faster than normal) back to camp for diner.
In 1994 toward the end of an extended tour of Central and South America I visited
Foz do Iguazu, one of the largest waterfalls in the world at the intersection of Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina, where the Iguazu river meets a basalt outcropping on it's way to the Parana river. It's spectacular!. One morning I decided to hike above the falls and see if I could find some wildlife. I found a nice sandy trail right along the Iguazu river. Shortly after I began I ran face first into one of the huge spider webs that physically stopped me in my tracks. I had watch birds the day before avoid these invisible barriers, but I hadn't gone native yet. The ten inch spider three feet above my head didn't seem to mind and thankfully ignored me. I continued on making sure to duck under the spider webs. Soon the trail narrowed and eventually stopped. At this point, I was about a half mile above the falls with the mile wide river ten feet behind me while I faced the jungle. There was another trail that intersected with mine leading into the jungle which was about twenty-five feet away, but some inner voice prevented me from following it and I was content where I was. I stood there silently for about twenty minutes alone taking in the beauty and sounds of the jungle hopping to see a monkey. At that point, a woman approached and in Spanish ask if I had seen her son (I think). I shook my head and showed her that the riverbank trail ended. She took a look at the trail leading into the jungle shrugged her shoulders and walked away muttering to herself. I stood silent another twenty minutes focusing on the canopy to my right. The jungle seemed to be quieting and I sensed something would appear soon. I did a broader visual sweep, and there it was, but it wasn't a monkey. While my attention was elsewhere, a very big three hundred plus pound
jaguar placed itself at the edge of the jungle crouching on the trail to me twenty-five feet away. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was black with a faint pattern of spots that blended perfectly with the jungle, and on both sides of it's neck it had beautiful yellow patches with orange red highlights. And, it's golden green unbelievably intense eyes were fabulous and staring right at me. I was completely entranced, and it knew it. After a minute or two it decide to get closer. It stood up in one fluid instant only cats can do and began walking toward me. On the way, to demonstrate it's strength, it decided to snap some three inch diameter branches with it's massive forearms that were twice the width of mine. I was impressed. But, I continue to stand there oblivious, taking in every second I had with this amazing creature. With every step, it accelerated, and when it got within ten feet of me my comfort zone kicked in. My primitive brain took over much to the chagrin of my "modern" brain which wanted to stay forever with the jaguar. In an instant, I found myself a hundred meters down the river trail toward the falls. My primitive brain did a nice job of remembering where the spider webs were and ducking. I had no fear, no elevation of heart rate. One moment I was right next to the jaguar, the next, I was a safe distance away. I walked down to the visitor center and had a cool fruit drink.
Plans, Trains and Automobiles
In high school one early morning after midnight, my friend Dave and I closed the pizza place we worked at and I proceeded to drive us home in my parents new Buick. My parents were away in Texas and had loaned me the car. I enjoyed driving Dave home because there was a long gradual curve in his neighborhood on the way to his house where we could accelerate and feel some cool G forces. My Aunt Mae had taught me that while in a curve you can accelerate as long as you were careful during the entry and exit. Anyway, we were in the curve and things were going fine, until we got to the exit when the early morning dew on the road caused us to slide. I can't say exactly how fast we were going, but it was fast. We slid right, so when we hit, which was inevitable at this point, my friend Dave was going to get it first. It was a standard neighborhood with a lot of houses and cars, and we ended up sliding through someone's front yard heading directly toward their large brick front porch. I had very limited steering ability, but thinking of Dave's well being, I changed direction enough to crash us into two late model cars in the driveway. They did a really nice job of absorbing the impact. Everything stopped. Dave and I looked at each other and asked if we were okay, then proceeded to go into hysterical laughter. We extracted ourselves from the car and took in the situation. Lights started popping on in nearby houses. It must have been loud. Our hearing must have shut off when we exited the curve. There was a scene of destruction like I had never seen before. Fresh dirt and sod and bushes and flowers and glass and car parts everywhere. Dave's dad commented the next day that he was astounded by how much damage occurred without loss of life or even a scratch. All three cars were totaled. Just about then, the man and woman of the house stepped out onto the front porch, which was pristine, thanks to my "great" driving skills (haha). Then, the next moment as if by magic they were on the driveway with Dave and I. The man of the house asked if I had insurance and if everyone was alright, in that order. I said yes, and he became visibly calmer. But, the woman of the house (here is where I got the near death feeling) was crimson even in the darkness and had to be physically restrained by her husband. I guess while we were literally plowing through the front yard, we took out several prized bushes she had only recently planted. Any anger the husband had left was redirected toward keeping his wife from killing me, which I greatly appreciated. When the policeman came, he was very efficient and apparently well practiced in dealing with teenage car crashes. He ask a few questions and took a few notes, and got me on my way in my somehow still drivable Buick in less than 20 minutes
In the Summer of 86 I was driving around on a Honda Hawk motorcycle in Boulder, Colorado. One day during a light rain I was heading East on highway 36. At Baseline (street) I just got in the right lane in preparation for exit, when I decided to improve my visibility and stop the rain from hitting my eyes. I had a nice new black motorcycle helmet with a black polarized flip-up visor. The visor had a peg lock, which when closed took some concentration to open and normally two hands. Right as I entered the off ramp at around thirty miles an hour, I flipped down my visor. My visor, in one breath, instantly fogged up. I was completely blind going thirty on a wet oily off ramp with a car forty feet in front of me and another one further back coming from behind, and I needed both hands. Definitely an "Oh Sh&t" moment... Luckily I had taken the exit many times before, so had a good mental image of how the road curved. But I had some concerns about accelerating over the car in front of me, and what about the stop light and the busy street I was heading for? The light was green when I entered the off ramp, but would it stay that way? It didn't matter, I wasn't going to cross it. I had to put an end to this nonsense. I just stopped and struggled with my visor to get it open again. I found myself with my front tire halfway into traffic, in the crosswalk. The car behind me honked, but I didn't care. I was just happy not be another statistic.
