/dev/null/kevin

Just a little reminder of my proudest blogging moment here at Sun.

That's all folks!  Follow me at http://devnullkevin.blogspot.com

Here is how different sports appears to people who don't care about that sport:

Soccer (Fútbol)

kick, kick, kick, out of bounds, kick, kick, kick, whistle, kick, announcer gets excited!, nothing happens, kick, kick...

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLL!!!!

kick, kick, kick....

American Football (pro)

Kickoff, commercial, 3 seconds of play, wait, talking, 3 more seconds of play, more talking, commercial, another commercial, game recap...

TOUCHDOWN!!!

40,000 replays of touchdown, commercial, kick off, commercial, play, play, play, punt, commercial, halftime, naked boob!, quick cut to commercial...

Baseball

Pitcher stares, shakes his head, more staring, more spitting, steps off mound, spits, grabs crotch, commercial.

Commercial for jock itch powder.  Viewer fights urge to spit and grab own crotch.

Basketball

First 47 game minutes: Walking, passing, scoring, whistles, scoring...

Gatorade commercial.  Nike commercial. Michael Jordan's underwear commercial.

Last game "minute": Timeout, whistle, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, timeout, commercial... (88 real minutes pass)

Hockey

Guys skate left.

Guys skate right.

Puck no where to be found.

squint, clean glasses, nope - still no puck.

Conclude that the puck must be invisible!

NASCAR

♫ The cars on the track go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round... ♫

♫ The commercials on TV say beer and trucks, beer and trucks, beer and trucks... ♫

♫ The people in the stands have bright red necks, bright red necks, bright red necks... ♫

Horse Racing

Hype, interviews, hype., ladies in big hats, hype, interviews, profiles, filler... (3 hours)

Race! (2 whole minutes)

Interviews, filler, replays, filler, filler, filler... (2 hours)

Golf

Soft, whispering voices lulling you to sleep.

Ah... sleep...

Zzzzzzz...

Olympics

Hype, interviews, hype, Americans, Americans, Americans, hype, interviews, American national anthem, medal count.

Americans.

Cricket

Is that a batter or a goalie?

Bowler?  What?  Is he trying to pick up a spare now?

Wild pitch!

Days?!  This game lasts days?!  I am out of here!

I redid this old post as a Crappy Graph:

This cnet review of Lasonic i931 ipod "dock" is hilarious.  You can see the little ipod nano in the tape cassette bay.

Update: Link fixed!  Here is a second link in case that one goes bad.  No commercial, either.

One more thing I never thought I'd have to reboot: my keyboard.

Check out the Optimus Maximus keyboard.  Each key has a 48x48 OLED display that is fully programmable.

The best part: only US$ 1,800.00.  Bargin!

... all car alarms will be illegal, especially this one:

Personally, I hate this particular one so much that if I ever do see someone stealing a car with this alarm I'm going to help them.  Hey Buddy, need a hand there?  Got money for gas?  Buckle up!  Remember, safety first.  Bye!

A recent tweet about pickles reminded me about a recent trip to Arby's.  They were advertising a "Southern Chicken Sandwich."  My wife got one and she ended up with a tiny sandwich consisting of the following:

• tiny bun
• tiny fried chicken patty
• mayo
• pickles

Arby's Southern Chicken Sandwich

We weren't sure where the "Southern" part came from.  Maybe we are just ignorant Yankees, so was it the pickle?

Soon afterwards I saw an adversisement for McDonald's Southern Chicken Sandwich.  It, too, consisted of just chicken and pickle.  I was sensing a pattern.

McDonalds's Southern Chicken Sandwich

So, I put down my copy of William Shatner's book, Get a Life, and went to google "southern chicken pickle" to see if, indeed, the pickle is the key to making a Southern Chicken Sandwich.  What I found where two blog postings [1, 2] mentioning that McDonalds was ripping off Chick-Fil-A's southern chicken sandwich.  Ah ha!  (Arby's didn't make their RADAR).

Chick-Fil-A's Southern Chicken Sandwich

Again with the pickle.

I don't get to the south much, nor even to the few Chick-Fil-As in California.  The first time I saw their name I pronounced it "chick-FILL-ah."  Can someone tell a dumb Yankee why the pickle makes it Southern?

Update: Pulled from the comments, it's a NY Times story on the chicken-pickle sandwich wars.

Imagine being on a conference call with the following international coworkers:

• John (male, English pronunciation)
• Jon (male, English pronunciation)
• Jon (male, Scandinavian pronunciation)
• Jan (male, Scandinavian pronunciation)
• Jan (female, Scandinavian pronunciation)
• Juan (male, Spanish pronunciation)
• Jean (male, French pronunciation)
  
• Jean (female, English pronunciation)
• Yan (male, Chinese pronunciation)
• Yuen (male, Chinese pronunciation)

Good luck!  Enunciate well.

A graphical representation of twitter.

... I will make it illegal for radios to play some sounds you might hear while driving:

• Sirens
• Cell phone ringing
• Car horns
• Screeching Tires
• People yelling, "Get off the sidewalk, you moron!"

We went to Legoland in San Diego recently and saw sculpture sticking out of a tent.

My first thought was, "Wow, a Lego monkey butt!"

My second thought was, "someone had to make that."

I wonder if they put that accomplishment on their resume:

• Legoland - Lead Monkey Butt Builder

His mom must be so proud.

There was a recent story about Google's CAPTCHA being broken.  CAPTCHAs are the little tests that websites use to prove the user is a human and not an automated system (spammer).  This very blog uses the simple, and easily broken, "add these numbers" test to leave a comment.

Here are my (not serious) suggestions for improved CAPTCHAs:

Use Pop Culture References:

Which character ruined Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace?

A. B. C. D. All of the Above

Answer: D

What internet meme died on April 1, 2008?

1. Dramatic Hampster
   
2. Rick Rolling
3. LOL Cats
4. Scientology
   

 

Answer: B

 Use Song Lyrics: 

How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
The answer is: --> blowin' in the wind

Who ya gonna call?
--> Ghostbusters!

Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?
--> Shaft!
You're damn right

Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?
--> Shaft!
Can ya dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?
--> Shaft!
Right on!

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--
--> Shut your mouth
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
--> Then we can dig it

 Use Trivia: 

How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Tootsie Roll Center Of A Tootsie Pop?

--> 3

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

--> African or European?

 Use Jeopardy Questions: 

 Catagory: POTPOURRI

The most undeserving popular blog at blogs.sun.com.

--> /dev/null/kevin

Please phrase your response in the form of a question

--> What the hell is /dev/null/kevin?

Comment approved.

Tags: lolcat lolcaterpillar lolcatrpilr lolcats
May 02, 2008 07:18 AM PDT Permalink | Comments [1] |

I'm questionable.  Got a huge freaking spider bite on my big toe, and I can barely get a shoe on and hobble around at work.

--Chris W.

Thanks to Chris K. for the laugh.

It's currently 84 degrees F here in Silicon Valley (29 C) and the shorts are coming out, and so are the white legs.  This seems to be a popular trend on twitter, and I am no exception.

Here is a screen capture, as that search will probably change over time.  It's amazing how self-deprecating the twitter community is.