/dev/null/kevin

Here are the new Homeland Security color codes, as named by the newly appointed director, Bernard Kerik.

According to geekandproud.net the current level is:

Update! Apparently, Kerik is out of the running for the job. The reasons are fuzzy, but they have something to do with Oscar being an illegal alien and Kerik not paying Elmo's taxes. He may have also had affairs with Big Bird and the Cookie Monster.

The new appointee for the job is Count Von Count (aka "The Count") who will personally find and count every terrorist at home and abroad.

With the holiday season comes holiday depression. To keep my spirits up, I need something to look forward to. Here is my list, in chronological order:

• Dec 13, 2004 - Legend of Earthsea on the SCIFI channel. Thanks to the success of The Lord of the Rings, other SciFi books are making it into filmed versions. The SCIFI channel has a mixed history of delivering both good and crap movies, so let's hope this is more Farscape and less Raptor Island.

• Dec 14, 2004 - Even if Earthsea sucks, it's just one day until the DVD release of the extended version of Return of the King. The extended versions of The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers were superior to their respective theatrical (and early DVD) releases, so I have high hopes for this one as well.

• Jan 5, 2005 - The return of Alias. After sitting on the bench for the first half of the season, Alias finally returns, but on a new night (since Desperate Housewives hijacked its time slot). Its new night will be Wednesdays at 9pm (P/E), following Lost (another good show). This show changes itself as much as Sydney does, so who knows what this season will be like.

• Jan 9, 2005 - The return of Fox's 24. It will premiere on Sunday the 9th, and then move to its new night, Mondays, on the 10th. I think this is a good move for Fox. 24 will now air all of the episodes with minimal breaks and no reruns. This will keep the pacing of the show up where it needs to be. Rumor has is that Jack's worthless daughter will have a much smaller role. Yeah!

• Jan 14, 2005 - The new Battlestar Galactica premieres. It will have been over a year since the reimagined mini series aired back in January 2004 as a test run/pilot episode. Fans of the original series had a little adjusting to do, but overall, the new mini-series was pretty good. The new series should be just as good, maybe better. I personally don't care that Starbuck is now a woman. The old show was fun, but cheesy. The new show removes the cheese.

• Jan 21, 2005 - The return of Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis. After a long break of reruns, both shows return with new episodes. Sure, Stargate jumped the shark a bit, mainly due to MacGyver's choice to work less, but it's still fun. Atlantis is also a pleasant surprise. The show has a lot of promise and is doing the most with its first season. Both shows have already been renewed for yet another season, so more things to look forward to.

• Feb, 2005 - The PC release of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, the Sith Lords, aka KOTOR II. The first KOTOR was an awesome game. Finally, a really good Star Wars game, unlike some disappointing attempts in the past. If they made KOTOR I into a movie, it would probably be the third best of all of the Star Wars movies, right behind the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back. It would certainly be better than any of the two prequels so far. What's that? The XBOX version comes out in December? Why wait for the PC version in February? Well, I'm not going to buy an XBOX just to play this one game (Kevin, Halo 2 is out...) and the PC version of KOTOR I was bigger and better than the XBOX version, so I'm willing to wait.