/dev/null/kevin

Here is a nice first hand account, and some pictures, of some people getting stuck in the new Apple Store's elevator in New York.

Apple probably still charged them a restocking fee for having to break open the elevator.
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May 31, 2006 10:44 AM PDT Permalink | |

So, my wife needed a shuttle to the airport on Tuesday. So she called to reserve one. Then her plans changed and she called back to cancel it. Seems normal, yes? Well, an hour later the shuttle guy called back and said that he couldn't find any reservation to cancel. I spent ten minutes on the phone with this lemon-eater trying to cancel something that didn't exist.

Stay tuned for Tuesday when I'm sure that this guy is going to show up at our house at 5:30 AM...
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May 28, 2006 06:19 PM PDT Permalink | Comments [2] |

Solving a problem that I "solved" when I was seven years old, a team of "eggsperts" (their lame pun, not mine) have concluded that the egg came first.

What bugs me most about this story is that it's labeled as a question that has "baffled scientists through the ages."   No, only the stupid ones.

For the benefit of science, here is a list of my answers to some of life's other "great mysteries":

• Is the glass half empty or half full?
  Well, it depends on if you're filling it up or emptying it. Duh. If it's just sitting there, then assume evaporation, thus "half empty."
• If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?
  No. It makes compression waves in the air.
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  I'm going to stop here, because this begins the list of moron questions. I will say that you can drive on driveways and park on parkways, so get on with your life.

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May 26, 2006 02:05 PM PDT Permalink | |

I can't wait for the 666 hype. 06/06/06 is coming, and while I'm no devil worshiper, I do like to watch people freak out over stupid things. I'm sure the same idiots who over-reacted to Y2K are going to restock their emergency rations and put on their tin foil hats.

I'm also glad that someone in Hollywood was paying attention and is releasing the remake of The Omen on 06/06/06.

And unlike 01:02:03 04/05/06, this will happen in the US and Europe on the same day.

I'm also booking my trip to Vegas for 07/07/07.

Remember:
666 - The number of the beast.
668 - The number of the beast's neighbor.
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May 22, 2006 09:33 AM PDT Permalink | Comments [2] |

In today's Foxtrot cartoon, Jason taps dances a morse code message.

Here is the morse code:

Here is the translated message:

What's more "impressive", drinking 24 beers a day for 8 years, or never throwing away any of the cans? You decide.

Read the full story here.

All 70,000 cans were Coors Light, so figure he only drank about 6 calories total.
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May 18, 2006 11:58 AM PDT Permalink | |

"Goodbye, Bruiser! Have fun staying with my mom for a week. When I get back, we're going to chop off your testicles."

It's a good think he doesn't understand what I'm saying.

Yes, I'm going on vacation and when we get back it's time to make Bob Barker happy.
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May 08, 2006 01:58 PM PDT Permalink | |