/dev/null/kevin

Computerworld has a good story about some of the worst GUI designs.  In general, I agree with the list, but it's a short list.  A very, very short list so I have a few things to add to it.

But first, their full list is:

• Adaptive Menus
• The Location-based Metaphor
• Clippie and other Anthropomorphic User Agents
• Apple Newton and Handwriting Recognition

My list of "Things To Do If You Want A Bad GUI"

• Don't support mouseless operations. - Force the user to click and click and click.  Repeat.  A little carpal tunnel never hurt anyone.
  


• The GUI should mirror the database. - The user should think like you.  You understand the database, so should the user.  Besides, it makes it easier to program and your code looks elegant.  Win-Win!


• Steal the Focus. - Your program is the most important.  Always.  So steal the keyboard focus early and often.  Who cares if the user is typing his password in another window?  He needs to click "OK" on your splash screen now!
  


• More Cowbell Drilldown! - The user won't appreciate the data if it's easy to find.  Make sure to put important information and controls deep inside nested popups.  Remember, clicking is good!


• More Modal, More Modal, More Modal! - All popups should block.  After all, linear processing is what window-based user interfaces is all about.  You score more points if you can block the entire desktop.  You score bonus points if your modal dialog can hide behind another window to effectively freeze the entire desktop.  You are the master and all must kneel before you and click "OK".


• Screw Those Blind Bastards! - Blind people don't use computers.  They just take the good parking spaces away from you.  Get your revenge by never programming to those "accepted" standards which aide the "visually impaired."  Use only pictures (without the ALT tag, of course) and never label anything.  Render all text as images.


• Everyone Speaks English! - Hardcode every piece of text because it will never change.  Ever.  If they don't speak English then you don't want them using your software.  America!  F-Yeah!


• Consistency is for Wimps! - Variety is the spice of life, so spice up your GUI with lots of variety.  Who likes doing the same thing over and over again?  Boring!  Users like guessing what's going to happen next.  Will my data save, or will it crash?


• Confirmation?  We don't need no stinking Confirmation! - Asking a user questions like "Are you sure you want to overwrite that file?" is insulting.  Your users are smart and they know what they are doing.  Clicking on the "No" or "Cancel" button is like admitting a mistake.  And just like asking for directions, it's a sign of weakness.