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20070420 Friday April 20, 2007
Warning: 80s Fashion Coming Back Life

Is it me or are 80s fashions coming back?  It's about the right time for it as retro 80s stuff is just starting to be cool now.

Retro usually only goes back about 25 years, mainly because retro stuff is only cool to those who weren't alive the first time around.  In the early 1980s, retro was the 50s (cf. Preppy).  We rejected the slovenly and sloppy 70s styles and music.  Disco was declared dead, clothes were neat and colorful, and music was techno and precise (no ad libbing allowed!).  Women's pants covered their belly buttons.

In the early 1990s the 60s retro came calling.  Bell bottoms and tie-dye were back, and grunge music took off.  Hair bands and over-produced music were banished to second billing behind "Puppet Show."    We even tried to recreate the magic with Woodstock '94 (aka Mudstock).

The late 1990s and early 2000s begot 70s retro.  Disco was back!  The song Y.M.C.A. became a staple at every wedding and karaoke bar in the nation.  Wayne's World made head banging to Queen cool.  Low, hip-hugger pants were required by law for everyone under the age of 25.

Fast forward to 2007.  Gone are the syncopated and funky rhythms in pop music.  They have been replaced with boring 80s repetitive 8th note bass lines (same same note).  Avril Lavigne's latest song sounds like the return of The Go Gos.  The kids in High School Musical dress like when I was in high school (class of '84).  Today I saw, not one, but two pictures of young, trend-setting, celebrities wearing pants that, I swear, are identical to ones my girlfriends wore while dancing to Duran Duran.  Goodbye low-rise jeans.  Goodbye belly buttons.  Hello suck-in-your-gut-high-waisted pants!

The 80s, for better or worse, are back.  Be prepared.  I'm pulling out all my thin ties now.

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