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20060329 Wednesday March 29, 2006
How To Know If You Are An Idiot Humor

What to you know if you are an idiot? Here's my list (with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy):

You might be an idiot if...

  • You believe in psychics. You're really an idiot if you pay them money.

  • You watch "Deal or No Deal" for the strategy. Or for Howie Mandel.

  • You drive around with just your parking lights on - on purpose. Really, what are you waiting for? "OK, I'm finally ready to crank it up to full power!"

  • You believe any of the "reasons" for gas prices going up, particularly the "reformulating for winter/summer" one. My memory goes back more than 6 months... How about you?

  • You wear your BlueTooth headset when you're not on the phone. Ten years ago this same guy would page himself to look important.

  • You join any "church" that requires you pay money. I have just two words for you: scam and cult.

  • You can't wait to see what the groundhog did. Hey, did you ever count six weeks after GHD on a calendar? Look! It's the official start of spring. What are the odds?

  • You pay full price for a pizza. Ten million trees die each year just to print those coupons. Use one.

  • You buy the extended warranty from the electronics store. Sucker!

  • You "super-size" it. You don't need the extra fries and there are free refills. Sure it means extra trips, but you could probably use the exercise, fatass!

  • You take me seriously.

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