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20080201 Friday February 01, 2008
Dating and HTTP Response Codes Humor

Men don't understand women, or so my wife tells me when I'm actually listening.  Women are even harder for most geeks for grok.  So when I was going through the HTML response codes, I noted that some of them could be used by a women when a man uses a pickup line on her.

Ladies, won't it be great to get your point across easily and with no confusion?  Men are clueless and can't take a hint.  Now there won't be any more mixed signals.  Keep the guys you want and get rid of the rest.

Men, we're good with numbers, right?  We are men after all.  But women?  Do we ever know what they really want?  No means yes.  Yes means no.  A or B?  No!  It's secret option C!  WiFi encryption was easier to crack.  But we're the Japanese navy and they're the Navajos.  So, wouldn't it be great if if we could get clear and meaningful responses from them?  Why waste time with a girl who doesn't dig us when Miss Right Now could just be around the corner.

Great!  Now that we're all in agreement, I present...

The Female HTTP Response Codes for Male Advances

 Response Code
  HTTP Meaning  What Women Mean
 100 Continue
Buy me another drink.
 200 OK
OK!  Let's dance!
 202 Accepted
Don't go away just yet.
 204
 No Content
 I'm an airhead.  Don't expect much conversation.
 300 Multiple Choices
Have you met my friends?
 301
 Moved Permanently
I'm giving you my number, but it's fake. 
 302 Found
Call me later.
 305
 Use Proxy
Talk to the hand!
 400 Bad Request
Your pickup line sucked.  Go away.
 401
 Unauthorized
 Not while my boyfriend is watching.
 402
 Payment Required
I'm a hooker.
 403 Forbidden
My religion prevents me from talking to you.
 404 Not Found
Who are you talking to?
 406 Not Acceptable
Move along, loser.
 408 Request Timeout
Dude, I haven't got all day!
 409
 Conflict
Can't you see I'm on a date?
 410 Gone
See ya.
 411
 Length Required
 You must be this long to ride this ride.
 412
 Precondition Failed
 Would it kill you to take a shower and put on some nice clothes?
 413
 Request Too Large Lose some weight, tubby.
 414
 Request Too Long Whoa!  Back off there, Seabiscuit!
 416
 Request Not Satisfiable I don't swing that way.
 417
 Expectation Failed
 I'm really a guy.
 423
Locked
I'm wearing a chastity belt.
 426
 Upgrade Required
 Come back when you drive a Porsche.
 500
 Internal Server Error
 I'm crazy.
 503
 Service Unavailable
 I'm rebooting the Ovarian Operating System, if you know what I mean.
 509
 Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
 Shut up already!
 510
 Not Extended
 Come back when you're happy to see me.


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February 01, 2008 02:54 AM PST Permalink | Comments [7] | del.icio.us technorati slashdot digg reddit facebook stumbleupon

20050524 Tuesday May 24, 2005
Star Wars Pick Up Line Entertainment

Sadly, I may never be able to use this line again...

Your Star Wars Pickup Line
"Hey, Beautiful. What's a nice girl like you doing waiting in line without bathing for 10 days?"

What's Your Star Wars Pickup Line?

Tags:
May 24, 2005 11:08 AM PDT Permalink | | del.icio.us technorati slashdot digg reddit facebook stumbleupon

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