/dev/null/kevin

Here is how different sports appears to people who don't care about that sport:

Soccer (Fútbol)

kick, kick, kick, out of bounds, kick, kick, kick, whistle, kick, announcer gets excited!, nothing happens, kick, kick...

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLL!!!!

kick, kick, kick....

American Football (pro)

Kickoff, commercial, 3 seconds of play, wait, talking, 3 more seconds of play, more talking, commercial, another commercial, game recap...

TOUCHDOWN!!!

40,000 replays of touchdown, commercial, kick off, commercial, play, play, play, punt, commercial, halftime, naked boob!, quick cut to commercial...

Baseball

Pitcher stares, shakes his head, more staring, more spitting, steps off mound, spits, grabs crotch, commercial.

Commercial for jock itch powder.  Viewer fights urge to spit and grab own crotch.

Basketball

First 47 game minutes: Walking, passing, scoring, whistles, scoring...

Gatorade commercial.  Nike commercial. Michael Jordan's underwear commercial.

Last game "minute": Timeout, whistle, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, timeout, commercial... (88 real minutes pass)

Hockey

Guys skate left.

Guys skate right.

Puck no where to be found.

squint, clean glasses, nope - still no puck.

Conclude that the puck must be invisible!

NASCAR

♫ The cars on the track go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round... ♫

♫ The commercials on TV say beer and trucks, beer and trucks, beer and trucks... ♫

♫ The people in the stands have bright red necks, bright red necks, bright red necks... ♫

Horse Racing

Hype, interviews, hype., ladies in big hats, hype, interviews, profiles, filler... (3 hours)

Race! (2 whole minutes)

Interviews, filler, replays, filler, filler, filler... (2 hours)

Golf

Soft, whispering voices lulling you to sleep.

Ah... sleep...

Zzzzzzz...

Olympics

Hype, interviews, hype, Americans, Americans, Americans, hype, interviews, American national anthem, medal count.

Americans.

Cricket

Is that a batter or a goalie?

Bowler?  What?  Is he trying to pick up a spare now?

Wild pitch!

Days?!  This game lasts days?!  I am out of here!

The man who made me a 49ers fan died today.  Thanks for the great times, Bill!

My dad and I really bonded watching the 1981 Superbowl run, especially "The Catch."   Then in the 1984 season, and a freshman in college, I didn't have a TV in my dorm room.  So every Sunday I would get up early (10am is early for a college student) and watch the games in the common room.  That Superbowl was played in my home town so I went home to experience all of the hype.

Even the years where they didn't win the Superbowl were great years.  I always like the way they won with class.  No showboating or pomp.  They really made it easy to be a fan.

Today, the "West Coast Offense" still proves to be proven success and many of Walsh's assistant coaches are all successful themselves. 

Thanks again, Bill!

Feel free to donate to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

No wonder the Seattle Seahawks lost to the Chicago Bears today.  Hasselbeck can't even avoid being sacked by the Burger King!  I would expect no less from a team that lost twice to my San Francisco 49ers.

Tags: football burger king seattle seahawks chicago bears