/dev/null/kevin

Here is how different sports appears to people who don't care about that sport:

Soccer (Fútbol)

kick, kick, kick, out of bounds, kick, kick, kick, whistle, kick, announcer gets excited!, nothing happens, kick, kick...

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLL!!!!

kick, kick, kick....

American Football (pro)

Kickoff, commercial, 3 seconds of play, wait, talking, 3 more seconds of play, more talking, commercial, another commercial, game recap...

TOUCHDOWN!!!

40,000 replays of touchdown, commercial, kick off, commercial, play, play, play, punt, commercial, halftime, naked boob!, quick cut to commercial...

Baseball

Pitcher stares, shakes his head, more staring, more spitting, steps off mound, spits, grabs crotch, commercial.

Commercial for jock itch powder.  Viewer fights urge to spit and grab own crotch.

Basketball

First 47 game minutes: Walking, passing, scoring, whistles, scoring...

Gatorade commercial.  Nike commercial. Michael Jordan's underwear commercial.

Last game "minute": Timeout, whistle, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, foul, timeout, free throw, timeout, commercial... (88 real minutes pass)

Hockey

Guys skate left.

Guys skate right.

Puck no where to be found.

squint, clean glasses, nope - still no puck.

Conclude that the puck must be invisible!

NASCAR

♫ The cars on the track go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round... ♫

♫ The commercials on TV say beer and trucks, beer and trucks, beer and trucks... ♫

♫ The people in the stands have bright red necks, bright red necks, bright red necks... ♫

Horse Racing

Hype, interviews, hype., ladies in big hats, hype, interviews, profiles, filler... (3 hours)

Race! (2 whole minutes)

Interviews, filler, replays, filler, filler, filler... (2 hours)

Golf

Soft, whispering voices lulling you to sleep.

Ah... sleep...

Zzzzzzz...

Olympics

Hype, interviews, hype, Americans, Americans, Americans, hype, interviews, American national anthem, medal count.

Americans.

Cricket

Is that a batter or a goalie?

Bowler?  What?  Is he trying to pick up a spare now?

Wild pitch!

Days?!  This game lasts days?!  I am out of here!

I'm questionable.  Got a huge freaking spider bite on my big toe, and I can barely get a shoe on and hobble around at work.

--Chris W.

Thanks to Chris K. for the laugh.

Long, long, ago, I used to play roller hockey with Joe, Rama and Will.  We played in the parking lots between Sun's Mountain View buildings (now all Google buildings).  Eventually I moved to ice hockey and hadn't touched the roller gear in years.  This week my wife's cousin needed a sub on his roller hockey team.  Not wanting to break my ankle trying to do an ice stop, I laced up the old pair and headed down the street with my dog running along side.  I took a few test turns, and then *snap* - I was on my butt.  Fortunately, it was not my ankle, but the skate itself.  The entire bottom half of the skate just broke off.  It was a cheap, plastic boot, not leather, and I guess we now know the lifespan of a cheap roller hockey skate.

The good news is I had two pairs of skates (outdoors and indoors) so I was still able to play since the game was indoors.

This is what I'm going to buy when Sun stock gets a little higher.  Like 50.  Maybe I can improve on my 2 goal, 2 assist season last year (still not bad for a defenceman).

Tags: rapidshot | hockey | training

Let me be the first third hundredth to say that I don't like the Rail-Cam that they used for the NHL All-Star game.  It's a camera that moves back and forth along the top of the boards.  Unfortunately, they put it on the same side of the ice as the normal camera so all it really does it get in the way of the action.  It's very distracting to watch the game and see the camera moving back and forth.

The pictures if gets aren't even that good, mainly because it's disorienting to watch the view from a moving camera. They either need to get rid of it or just move it to the other side of the rink.  That's probably not possible since the players sit there, but they can't leave where it is.

Say it with me: The rail-cam sucks. 

Tags: hockey | railcam  | nhl