Friday August 20, 2004

The riddle of the monkey's hand

As promised, the wrap up of the Monkey's Hand challenge. If you have no idea what I'm talking about here, you should first take a look at the challenge. That will help put the explanation into context.

The Monkey's Hand website seems to make sense, on the surface at least. A monkey's hand. A busy helper. Able to do a wide variety of things. Versatile. Check out the text on their home page:

Monkey's Hand is a Technology Services Company. We specialize in Web Development, Design, Graphics, Layout, Local (Syracuse, NY area) PC Service and Repair, Home Networking, Affordable CD Duplication, Labeling, Computer Cleaning, Detailing, Customizing, and all kinds of other Computer Services.

Nothing too out of the ordinary there, it would seem.

Let me share a little story that will help you understand how I found the Monkey's Hand site in the first place.

I have an Austrailian Cattle Dog. A Queensland Heeler, to be more specific. She is deaf, but just about the smartest little dog you could possibly imagine.

I got Heidi from the pound a few years ago. She was 1 1/2 years old at the time, and very traumatized from her experience. I don't think her prior owners expected her to find a new home. They had apparently fattened this little dog up for her stint with the pound, probably thinking that would be her last meal, or at least something close to it.

She was so much smaller than the last dog I had (a very large Yellow Lab), yet fat at the same time. I took to calling her "tiny fat dog" instead of her real name. She doesn't seem to mind, really.

Anyway, one day I was talking to my dog - I know that sounds a bit funny, talking to a deaf dog. Keep in mind that you can hear and not listen, and I believe you can listen even if you can't hear. She knows what I'm talking about, especially if I'm peeling a banana for her at the time.

So I'm talking to my dog when I say something that completely cracks me up. Inexplicably, I had stumbled onto a phrase that would have such subtlety and meaning at the same time that it was a beautiful thing, regardless of its actual subject. I said "Tiny fat dog - you stink like a monkey's hand".

There is a truth about monkeys and their hands in that statement that is undeniable, yet not blatantly made clear either. A very funny combination of words. The unsaid piece that connects the phrase together can only be described as an elephant in the room.

If you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about here, consider yourself lucky. But if you must know the painful connecting material in my phrase, I will have to refer you to another site. I don't really want to get into that here, but it is essential that you get the connection to understand what is wrong with the Monkey's Hand site. Here is a site that holds the explanation. It is a monkey's diary. Pay attention to how he spends his time each day.

Ok, enough of my story. That is plenty of context to wrap up the Monkey's Hand challenge. So going back to the text, what doesn't belong there? I'm not sure how you feel about it, but I'm thinking anything having to do with cleaning. At all. Not cleaning or detailing. I simply couldn't allow it.

When I first came across this site, I was looking on Google to see how unique my phrase was. Absolutely unique, seemingly. I then looked to see if I could get the domain name. Not sure exactly what I would do with it if I could have gotten it. Actually, I'm glad it wasn't available.

At that time, Monkey's Hand had another service as well: sanitizing telephones. When I read that, I simply could not believe it. "Don't worry, I went ahead and had Monkey's Hand come and sanitize our telephones.", I quipped.

Apparently, the folks at www.monkeyshand.com and I have a very different understanding of monkeys, their hands, and cleaning services of various types.