that is unacceptable, absolutely
Today's bothersome usages are "absolutely" and "unacceptable", which are sometimes used together, producing, for me, an exponentially bad effect.
"Unacceptable" is usually used in the phrase, "That is unacceptable", often uttered in a stern tone of voice. As far as I can tell, the phrase has two meanings:- "I find that unacceptable" or "That is unacceptable to me".
- "Everyone knows that this is unacceptable" or, the long-winded variation, "As one who is in conformity with and has extensive knowledge of the manners and morals of our society, I declare that this is, as something in conflict with those manners and morals, unacceptable."
A similarly misused word is "appropriate". This word has a sexual/moral dimension that is more pronounced than "acceptable". E.g., if you walk into your boss's office with a schedule that has you taking ten weeks to write a device driver from scratch--ten weeks when he wants eight--he might respond, "That is unacceptable." If you walk in with your schedule, wearing skin-tight and/or revealing clothing (male or female; this is an equal opportunity blog), the boss might respond (nodding at your attire), "That is inappropriate."
"And I still find your schedule unacceptable."
I'm actually OK with the use of "inappropriate" to mean "what most people would say is not appropriate for this setting", even if it would be more honest to say, "Your clothing is suggestive (or too sloppy or casual or are you color blind?)" I guess my resistance is worn down.
Now "absolutely"--I can't escape my years at a Jesuit High School. I mean I had drummed into me that for absolutes you had things like God, death, the point at which all molecular activity ceases. Not, I'll absolutely get the hot peppers with my burrito.
I don't think that I can agree with your characterizations here. Would you object in the same way if you heard someone say "You just did a fantastic job"? Would you think that it should have been qualified in the same way: "I am of the opinion that the job you did was fantastic"?
When I have heard "unacceptable" used this way, it generally was by someone with some authority over the person being commented on. When it was used in the second sense, it was always by someone who at least thought they were being authoritative. So, you are correct in that they might very well need to be challenged in that assessment.
I often use "inappropriate" with my kids as an indication that something they want or read or hear or see is too "adult" for them. So, using it in the context or a comment on clothing is just the same, that there is a mismatch.
And absolutely is just saying that there is no gray area in your answer, that you mean unequivocally yes or no.
Posted by Brian Utterback on March 21, 2008 at 11:16 AM PDT #