The Downtown Diner

In Beijing there are 2 ways to get a driver's license. Here is my best attempt to describe them both.

The hard way:
1. Make a trip to the Automobile Administrative Office, Foreign Affairs Branch, 18 Nansihuan Donglu, Chaoyang District. Phone: 8762.5150. Get a copy of the application to take the driver's license test and a list of the approved clinics where you can take the health exam.
2. Go to FESCO to get the translated version of the study manual. I think they have it in at least 8 different languages, including English. Start studying the 800+ questions in the manual. Don't use this as an opportunity to learn how to drive in China because no one follows these rules anyway. Just memorize the correct answers. (Chinese students have been doing this all their lives so they don't need these kinds of tips but I wish someone had told me from the outset!) You'll have to get 90% of the questions right in order to pass the exam.
3. Fill in the application form.
4. Go get your health exam. (It's very easy. They just check your heart and your eyes, if I remember correctly.)
5. Return to the AAO with the following:
- A completed application.
- Your passport, Foreigner Residence Permit and Z-visa
- Copy of your completed health exam.
- Your home country's driver's license and a translated version.
- 2 passport color photos
5. The AAO will give you an appointment to come back to take the exam.
6. Return to the AAO on the day of your exam. Don't be late because they won't let you in and you'll have to get another appointment and come back AGAIN! (Don't ask me how I know this....)
7. In the exam room, take the exam on your own computer monitor. You can choose your language, again I think they have it 8 languages or so. Everything is multiple choice and the questions are exactly like the ones in the study manual. You can go back to check questions you've already answered, and you can skip questions and come back to them. The program is super-easy to use. When you're done you click "submit" and within seconds you'll see either an ecstatic smiley face or an emoticon that's pouring tears. That tells you if you've passed the exam or not. The emoticons are, in my opinion, larger than they really need to be.
8. Go to the front of the exam room, where you're greeted by the test administrator, who already knows if you got the ecstatic smiley face or the pouring tears. (Note: Those who passed the exam are instructed to read a little piece of paper that's posted next to the door as you leave the room. If you got the pouring tears but want to save face in front of your classmates, you can pause in front of that piece of paper, then nod thoughtfully before you leave.)
9. If you got the ecstatic smiley face, go back to the main lobby and make an appointment to pick up your license. If you got the ecstatic smiley face and this was your first attempt, go buy a lottery ticket.
10. If you got the pouring tears, go back to the main lobby and make an appointment to take the exam again. You're back to step 6.

The easy way:
1. Go to FESCO (14 Chaoyangmen Nandajie, Chaoyang District, phone 8561 6663) with the following:
- 800 RMB (a steal!)
- Your passport, Foreigner Residence Permit and Z-visa
- your home country's driver's license
- 5 passport color photos

2. Take the test right there at FESCO. BTW everyone I know who did it the hard way failed the first time, and everyone I know who did it the easy way passed the first time.

So why would anyone do this the hard way? Mostly because they didn't know there was an easy way. There are also some people out there who don't find everyday life in China challenging enough and they want to get their license the old-fashioned way.

Whichever route you choose, good luck! See you on the freeways.

Update: Sin-Yaw passed the exam the hard way, the first time. Clearly he cheated.