Jen Crosby's Racing Blog

Tuesday September 11, 2007

Back in the saddle

Well, the time has finally come.  This Thursday, I'm heading to Brands Hatch with Toby to ride my ZXR for the first time since the crash.  Andy P has been an absolute superstar, he's rebuilt the bike for me, putting the engine in a new frame and building it all back up again.  There's a few little jobs left for me to do, but otherwise we're good to go.  We started her up for the first time last weekend, and my god was that a sweet sound to hear!  I can't wait to be hearing her scream at 12k again as I fly round Brands!! :o)

 As I guess you might imagine, I'm incredibly excited about riding again.  For the past 4 and a half months I've been going to race meetings and trackdays, and as much as I love watching, I've been longing to be out there myself.  I can visualise and imagine how it feels to ride, and I feel that buzz in my tummy when I think about it, and I can't wait to have that feeling again. 

Of course, on the flip side, I'm absolutely petrified.  It's been over 4 months since I've ridden any bike, and I'm nowhere near as fit or strong as I was.  What if I can't ride because it hurts (I don't think it will, but who knows)?  What if the bike feels really different?  What if I'm just rubbish??  As much as I know I need to just relax and go enjoy being able to do what I love, I can't help but put pressure on myself.  I guess that's the nature of being a racer.  Rationally I know that I need to ease myself in, and just enjoy being back out there - at the end of the day, it could so easily have been the case that I may never have been able to do this again.  But of course, in the back of my mind, constantly being pushed back, is the thought of me crashing again.  It's amazing how vivid the memory of that crash still is when I let it come into my head, and if I let it appear at the track, I know I won't be able to ride at all.  I honestly don't know how I'm going to reconcile that until I get there.  I guess I just need to hope that the excitement of riding again will squash the memories that I want to keep buried.

So, armed with new leathers, new back protector and lid, and a rebuilt bike, I'll be there, riding, in 2 days time. Oh my god.

( Sep 11 2007, 10:28:25 AM GMT+00:00 )

Permalink