As Waynetta Slob remarked about her infant daughter's new name: Frogmella. ('Ashtray' was, of course, ruled out "because it's a boy's name!"). And just to prove that there is, in Bertie Wooster's words, no shortage of "rum work pulled at the font", there's news today that a 9-year-old girl in New Zealand has been made a ward of court so that she can legally change the name with which she was originally saddled: "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii"). Would I kid you?
While some children escaped being legally landed with the names "Fat Boy" or "Fish" and "Chips" (twins), others were not so lucky; among them, "Number 16 Bus Shelter", "Violence" and less fortunate twins "Benson" and "Hedges". Who said romance was dead?
It all reminds me of that great rule-of-thumb for anyone faced with a huge pile of applications for a single job: "pick up the whole pile and throw it at your waste-paper basket. Any that land in the bin, reject immediately - after all, who wants to hire unlucky people?"
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If you've ever read "The Book of Heroic Failures" by Stephen Pile, you'll find that he considers the worst set of first names to be bestowed on a hapless infant, to be "Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake".
I'm somehow inclined to agree with him...
Posted by Dave Walker on July 24, 2008 at 01:52 PM GMT+00:00 #
This reminds me of another story. A hospital didn't permit the crazy parents to give their child a crazy name, so the baby boy was named Ian Donald Calvin Euclid. When the boy was five, he insisted on having his name officially changed to his parents' original choice, which was Dweezil. (Go on, look it up.)
Posted by Richard Veryard on July 24, 2008 at 03:54 PM GMT+00:00 #
I thought that name rang a bell. Presumably little Dweezil was fed up with his older sister Moon Unit getting all the limelight. I wonder if 'reverse sibling rivalry' kicked in when little Diva Muffin arrived.
Posted by Robin Wilton on July 24, 2008 at 04:07 PM GMT+00:00 #