Deer
This piece was written by Da Don. Don puts about 30,000 miles a year on his Deuce. Don is a real biker and a great writer.
Problem is, damn deer are everywhere. Well, OK, they're not in a few places, but in most places. And, wherever they are, they are in abundance.
I've had a few close calls, but, so far, so good. The last couple of
times I wasn't able to stop and so I just tried to go where the deer
wasn't. I snuck behind one sumb**** last fall--barely missing it--only to have it TURN AROUND and come back into me. Pipes scared da s*** out of it. Luckily for me, I was quicker than it was. Still, I could have petted the god**** thing as I was flying by.
Most times I see 'em grazing along the roadside. Many times Da Pythons will spook 'em and they'll haul a** into the woods/corn. Other times they'll just continue eating.
It's rarer to catch 'em running at night. However, that's normally the case for daytime sightings. Scares da s*** out of me when one streaks across the road in front of me at night. They are like apparitions.
In the daytime I can usually spot 'em before they hit the pavement. Sometimes I can use Da Pythons to either stop 'em or make 'em change direction.
While I don't like riding at night because of da deers, I'm often forced to. When I do ride after dark, I slow down. For awhile there I was trying to scan both ditches at the same time. Now, however, I've settled on just looking straight ahead and hoping to catch 'em out of the corner of my eye.
Too much PEERING can make ya go blind. Plus, after awhile it gets hypnotic and EVERYTHING looks like a deer. God**** mailboxes, shrubs, beer cans glistening in the ditch... That's scary and tiring.
If I get a RAGE going, I don't give a s***. F*** da deer!
Also, if it's really miserable riding, I almost hope I hit a deer so that the ride will end. The prospect of laying on warm highway pavement after hours of riding in the rain and cold can be quite inviting. Like I always say, "One way or another, this ride is going to end as quickly as possible."
If there's no traffic on a road, I have pretty decent visibility with my high beam. Low beam SUCKS!
I like to follow a car (if it's moving fast enough) and use its headlights. Last fall, while riding at night across Northern Michigan, I let a car pass me. Luckily, the car was moving right along. 65 to 70 MPH. Woo-hoo! Only problem was, the driver didn't put on her brights. Well, OK, she would, but it'd take her forever to do it.
I hung back a little and rode using her lights. It worked. One time I spotted a deer in the car's headlights. I immediately rolled off the throttle. Which was lucky because the unpredictable forest rat waited for the car to pass and then shot across the road right in front of me. No problemo however, because I was prepared.
Still, it irks me that so many drivers don't use their high beams.
I don't like riding behind semis. For one thing, I can't see the road up ahead. So, if a "smart" deer was looking to scoot behind the semi, I'd have no chance to react.
For another, I have a friend who drives the big rigs. She's also a biker. She told me NOT to follow a semi too closely at night. According to her, if the truck hits a deer and you're following too close, you could run over the carcass. She also mentioned that if a deer gets caught up in the duals, you don't want to be riding through/over what comes out the a**-end of that truck.
That brings up another point. It's incredible how butchered deer can get. A couple of months ago, while riding back from CheezeDOG Keith's house, coming down a fairly busy 2-lane highway, I ran through two fresh kills. This was barely after dark too. Luckily, the carcasses were just pieces of meat and deer hide with a big splash of blood. It was lucky there was nothing bigger because the "spot" suddenly appeared from under the car in front of me. No way could I avoid "mushing" through it.
I hate deer!
Da Don
