Belly Button Lint: Rick Ramsey's Weblog

I was going to write a diatribe about a certain outdoor sport, but got whacked on the head and can't shake this topic.

In its wisdom Western Civilization has decided there are Seven Deadly Sins:

• Pride
• Envy
• Gluttony
• Lust
• Wrath
• Greed
• Sloth

My favorite is Wrath. It sounds so cool. Wrath.

Mahatma Ghandi responded with an Eastern Perspective:

• Wealth without Work
• Pleasure without Conscience
• Science without Humanity
• Knowledge without Character
• Politics without Principle
• Commerce without Morality
• Worship without Sacrifice

Well excuse me! Fine for the holy men, but ya know, out here in the world of internet porn, stupid politicians, and lousy cell phone service, the rules are different. What we need are the Seven Deadly Sins for the Average Joe. Here ya go. With lukewarm apologies to Mister Ghandi and the sages of Western Civilization. The Seven Deadly Sins 2.0.

Judgement
The worst of the bunch. In full swing by 7th grade, the classify--> label--> exclude--> condemn game leaves you with two lifelong companions: snobbery and self-loathing. It has become, as we cross the 300 million mark, our country's defining characteristic. So many interesting people you just can't hang with. Take a second look at the "stars and stripes." You'll see a whole new flag.

Blame
The pulpit of righteous bullies. Makes everyone focus on excuses instead of solutions. Over time even the slowest sled team knows which dog is the dingo.

Ambivalence
"In 500 years, who is going to care?" Those are the dumbest words I ever heard come out of anybody's mouth. Give me passion. Play me Ode to Joy. Let me hear a wrinkled old fool on Bourbon street cry me why the trombone is more precious to him than his left leg. Blase is Boring. People who claim to have been there and done that obviously haven't.

Isolation
A circle of middle school girls, all talking on their phone to someone else. A school bus packed with kids, each listening to their own i-pod. A Nation of One, each of us watching our own television show, alone. Go to a baseball game. Sit in the cheap seats.

Convenience
"...with comfort and convenience for all." Is that how the Pledge of Allegiance really ends? We bulldoze downtowns, cafes, and sidewalks, toss our neighbors, cookbooks, and the pleasure of preparing a meal with friends and family, but hey, we can get a burger without having to get out of the car!

Multitasking
A guy I once shared an office with had the most compelling vision of retirement: In the warmth of the morning he would place a glass of sherry on a table along the path from a Greek village to the ocean. Over the course of the day as the villagers stopped to say hello, he would glance at the sherry and let his senses swirl around the anticipation of tasting it. Just before the sun set, he would drink it, pack up his table and chair, and go home.

Consumerism
When's the last time a politician called you a citizen? No, they call us consumers. That should make you crazy. I guess consumerism is the modern equivalent of gluttony. The best kitchen appliance we own is a Waring blender. The thing weighs as much as a boulder and is a pleasure to load, turn on, and use. It's even satifying to clean. Something made with love, attention, and patience returns those qualities to the owner. Avoid WalMart like the plague.

Alternate Deadly Sin That May Be Substituted For Any Of The Above: golf