my grandma evie
my grandma evie died last weekend. she was 95.
she was my last surviving grandparent. my father's mother, anna, passed away over six years ago at the age of 90. my grandfathers both died quite awhile ago.
my grandmother lived on her own until january of 2004. a bit earlier, she had suffered a scary fall. although she ended-up 'only' with a cut on her head, it was evident to everyone involved that she could no longer live on her own.
so, my family did a decidedly un-american thing and had her move in. it was first my cousin rachel and her partner jenny who had grandma live with them for a couple years in montclair, ca. then, my mom and her husband phillip had her stay with them in galisteo, nm. she then went to live with my uncle david and aunt patti in monte rio, ca. she passed shortly before she was to return to my mom's place.
i came into my grandmother's life when she was 52. i'd never thought about this before... at 52, she had already done so many remarkable things, and would keep on doing so for over 40 more years. she was a communist organizer in the states, who strongly believed in, and worked for, civil rights. she was a world traveler, storyteller, writer, and a swimmer. in general, the type of woman who people were drawn to.
grandma had a faith and pride in me that i often did not share. she felt strongly in my abilities as a writer and a photographer. even though there were long stretches of time where i didn't write or shoot, she would pester me (in a way that only a jewish grandmother could) about doing so.
the tears stop for a bit as i think about when i lived with her while going to san francisco state, and working on papers with her. what a wonderful memory that is. so many memories.
too many tears now. too many.
Sorry for your loss.
Posted by Sin-Yaw Wang on October 13, 2007 at 08:24 AM HKT #
Hey bro, Grandma was right, you are an amazing writer and photographer, among so many other things. I love you and miss you. Take all the time you need to grieve and, as my supervisor said to me, "Honor your grief." I love you, Aram
Posted by Aram on October 13, 2007 at 10:50 AM HKT #
dearest robert,
i am touched reading your blog about grandma. we are all crying. sitting on the plane as i was flying to vienna, i would be fine and then, suddenly, like being pounced on by some small animal, up would come the sorrow, the tears. it is so hard to believe she is gone and i saw her. you are far away and that could make it harder. just know that i love you. and you know your grandma loved and believed in you. both of your grandmas. how fortunate. someone said to me that now i get to live out the best characteristics of what grandma left. to carry that on. and, they are right. but, at the same time, the sorrow just comes in waves. how lucky we are to feel it. much love, mom
Posted by mom on October 13, 2007 at 04:18 PM HKT #
Rob I'm really sorry to hear this. Call me if you want to talk.
Posted by melanie gao on October 16, 2007 at 11:03 AM HKT #
So sorry to hear that.
Posted by Forrest on October 16, 2007 at 02:50 PM HKT #
Rob,
I often read your blog with a smile, remembering our happy times together as you began your transition to life in Beijing. Thus, it was with great sadness that I read your latest entry. I wish I could be there to give whatever support I could, even if that might only be providing a friendly ear to listen to such wonderful memories. Please know that both your grandmother and you are in my prayers. Send my best to Fiona and give Leo a hug for me. You are such a wonderful person and I will always treasure your friendship.
With love,
Sarah
Posted by Sarah Moosvi on October 18, 2007 at 08:44 AM HKT #
Your grandma sounds not only like someone people were drawn to, but like someone people want to be. When my grandmother died at 87, the only consolation I had was that she had a full, interesting life. But I still miss her. I'm sorry for your loss, and I can relate. I can only give you a small tip: occasionally look up and ask yourself, am I making her proud? If the answer is "yes", just keep on doing what you're doing.
Posted by Amiram on October 21, 2007 at 12:08 PM HKT #
That was so beautifully written,
and Amiram's advice is absolutely right.
Thank you for sharing.
Posted by Sudn on April 28, 2009 at 11:12 AM HKT #