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Earlier today I was talking on the phone with my buddy Gregg Sporar. Unlike usual I was using Windows Vista (due to a podcast - I still can't get audio mixing to work well on Ubuntu - I need to record my Skype session using Audacity - if you know how to set this up please let me know, thanks). Gregg was telling me a really funny story and I was laughing out so hard that I slammed several times with both my hands on the table. Suddenly a Sony VAIO popup dialog came up:

It reminds me of the dialog I get when I get angry that my code won't work and press the Shift key five times or more and Windows thinks I have a hard time using the keyboard and I need some assistance... only this one is so much fancier :)
A video describing natural evolution of System Engineers at Sun and their interaction with Sales Reps... hmm someone must had fun recording this piece:
Happy new year to everyone ... with a Celtic/Bretan song (isn't the ancient language beautiful?):
I was cleaning pictures from my mobile phone today and thought some of them were quite interesting so I'll share them. The quality is not very good and I am not a good photographer, but maybe you'll find some of them interesting, entertaining or will inspire you to visit one of the places I've been to.
Spring on Cyprus. Very inspiring!
I took this picture from my hotel window in Cologne :)
I do like animals :)
The best sculpture of an elephant in India (they claimed).
Gate of India. The guy on the left is waiting for the picture to be taken to sell me some stuff really cheap!
There is still hope.
Conquering the space.
This is not Taj Mahal.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1 :)
Pyramids and the Sun.
The stones look that small from far away, but if you get close they're so large...
The Sphinx.
Breathtaking Trevi fountain in Rome.
Fool's garden in San Francisco.
Colors of India.
Shore temple in Mammalapuram, India. The stones of the temple are rounded because they've been under water for a couple of times.
Palace in St. Petersburg. Enough room for many soldiers...
Late evening in St. Petersburg with incredible colors.
Sunset in the desert.
Vyrazil jsem s batohem na 5-týdenní dovolenou do Indie, měl jsem se tam setkat po dvou týdnech s přáteli, kteří si nemohli vzít tak dlouhou dovolenou jako já a chtěli jsme procestovat jižní Indii. Bohužel jsem musel dovolenou předčasně zrušit, protože jsem onemocněl. Tento výlet do Indie byl pro mě dost silným zážitkem, a tak jsem si řekl, že se o něj podělím prostřednictvím blogu. Určitě existují velmi pěkné části Indie a spousta cestovatelů má pozitivní zkušenosti. Jak se říká "your mileage may vary". Omlouvám se za hrubší jazyk, takto jsem svoje zážitky popsal přátelům, rozhodl jsem se text necenzurovat, abych zachoval jeho autenticitu. Pokud vás hrubší výrazy uráží, nečtěte to. Byli jste varováni :)
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Ahoj,
dneska je mi mnohem lip - uz jsem mohl spat v kuse nekolik
hodin, prasky zabraly :) Tak vam posilam moje dosavadni zazitky z Indie
z tech par dnu co jsem tam stravil.
Videl jsem hodne nemocnych
lidi, spoustu odpadku na ulicich (na mnoha mistech nemaj infrastrukturu typu
popelari tak proste hazi odpadky na ulici a ty hnijou a desne smrdi).
Nevidel jsem za celou dobu ani jednu cistou ricku nebo potok, vse
smrdelo tak, ze se k tomu nedalo ani priblizit. Na vesnicich byly
kaluze s cerno-zelenou vodou plnou odpadku a v tom se brodily prasata a
prebiraly to :) Mistni pak cerpaj vodu z nedaleke studne, koupou se v
tom a hned vedle vesele perou pradlo s penivymi prostredky, spinava
voda zase stejka nekam blizko zdroje pitne vody. Hodne lidi tam zije
bez zachodu, takze konaji svoji potrebu, kde se da. Samozrejme to pak
podle toho i na hodne mistech zapacha, sracky clovek cejti v Indii
skoro porad. Do toho vseho chodi po mestech kravy, ktere vesele zerou
plastove lahve, ktere jsou vsude pohazene (a pak na to udajne chcipaj).
Vetsina krav je desne vyzrana, asi jim ty plasty opravdu nedelaj moc
dobre na zaludek. Vsude se potulujou psi, vypadaj jako kdyby prozily
treti svetovou valku a jsou znacne agresivni (videl jsem jednu super
psi rvacku :)
Ve velkych mestech je silny znecisteni ovzdusi (o dost horsi
nez BKK - i kdyz sviti slunicko tak smogem skoro nepronikne :), prilis
mnoho lidi a neustaly dopravni kolaps. Kdyz jsem dorazil do Delhi ve 2
rano tak jsem si koupil jizdenku na statni taxi. Stal me o dost min nez
posledne (310 Rs. - neco pod 150 Kc) kdyz jsem byl v Bangalore, kde jsem
si vzal nejakyho soukromyho, platil jsem mnohem vic. Na druhou stranu v Bangalore me aspon dovezli
do hotelu, taxikar v Delhi tvrdil ze adresa je neuplna a ze se musime
zeptat na informacich (coz byla zaroven cestovni kancelar). Tam mi
nabidli vylet na Taj Mahal za 200 Eur (bez vstupenky, jen doprava) a
chlapek predstiral, ze volal na muj hotel a tvaril se, ze mam problem s
rezervaci (asi mi chtel prodat i ubytovani :). Behem toho se me ptal na
detaily my rezervace, ja malem dostal zachvat smichu, protoze bylo
jasny ze s nikym nemluvi a jenom to hraje. Vydrzel to predstirat snad
10 minut :) Nakonec jsem mu rek, ze si vylet asi koupim, ale ze se chci
rozhodnout az rano, protoze jsem unavenej a ze se chci nejdriv vyspat.
To se mu moc nelibilo, ale asi zpozornel, ze mam prece jen zajem o
vylet tak neco napsal taxikarovi na papir a muj taxikar se prastil do
cela jako ze uz konecne vi, kde ten hotel je. Ja jsem mel pocit
vitezstvi, protoze jsem ty hajzly prechcal a dostal jsem se na hotel
bez vetsi financni ujmy, samozrejme jsem do cestovani kancelare
nezavolal, protoze za 200 Eur by se dalo na Taj Mahal dostat v pohode
letecky.
Metro v Delhi byl jeden z mala pozitivni zazitku - chvili jsem
si pripadal jak na zapade akorat tam bylo vic lidi :) Takze jsem ho
hodne pouzival pro prohlidku mesta (jizdne stalo 8 Rs. - 3.50 Kc :).
Kdyz jsem vystoupil na jedne stanici abych se podival na Red Fort v
Delhi tak jsem se zase musel vratit, protoze jsem to proste
nerozdejchal :) V Delhi jsem potkal celkem pohodovyho riksu, kterej mel
dobrou anglictinu a povozil me po ruznych pamatkach a samozrejme me zavezl
i do par obchodu aby si privydelal na syna, ktery studuje v USA
pocitace (hrozne jsem mu to zral :) V prvnim jsem par minut vydrzel,
protoze tam meli zajimavy sosky, ale druhej byly jen latky, tak jsem riksu nasral, protoze nedostal zadny penize, utekl jsem prilis rychle.
Ale protoze byl hodnej a vozil me pred tim nekolik hodin a hodne mi
toho vypravel tak jsem mu dal 300 Rs (asi 135 korun). Byl z toho uplne
vedle, jeste jsem nemel moc prehled kolik riksove stoji, ale viditelne
jsem mu dal hodne penez :)
V Delhi jsem potkal dost malych deti, ktery maj po celym tele
vyrazku a samozrejme se me bezely dotknout :) Daval jsem nekolikrat
penize vyhublejm zenskejm, ktery drzely mimino zabaleny ve spinavejch
hadrech a prosily beze slov o penize. Hodnekrat me obtezovaly maly
deti, ktery chtely "mony mony" a nedalo se jich zbavit. Taky tam byly
stary lidi, kteri uz meli jen kosti a kuzi a lezeli slozeny na zemi a
prosili o penize (uz byli v deliriu a neco mleli dokola). Tohle vse
jsem nesl docela tezko.
Na Taj Mahal jsem se bohuzel nedostal, protoze jsem mel let do
Chennai v 6 vecer a to bych se nestihl vratit vlakem a i kdyz byly
vsude nabidky na vylet minubusem na Taj Mahal, byly nechutne drahy, tak
jsem to odlozil na konec cesty kdy jsem mel mit skoro 3 dny v Delhi.
Jinak v Delhi byl hotel naprosto udesnej, tak jsem si radsi v Chennai
priplatil (asi 1500 Kc na noc) na lepsi hotel a bylo to taky desny, ze
snidane jsem se malem pozvracel. Na hotelu pracovaly deti (vcetne
recepce, moc jim ta anglictina nesla :), mohlo jim byt tak 14 let.
Tepla voda netekla na zadnem miste v Indii kde jsem byl, ne ze bych ji
potreboval :) Deti v Chennai vubec pracovaly tak nejak vsude.
Sel jsem se projit po Chennai, ale kvuli znecisteni vzduchu a
neustalym nahanecum a agresivnimu marketingu riksu je to temer nemozne.
Utekl jsem jim na plaz, ale byli vytrvali a pronasledovali me i po
plazi a nekolik jich za mnou i bezelo :) Brzy jsem toho mel v
Chennai dost a tak jsem jel na jih (50 km od Chennai je Mammalapuram,
doufal jsem v cisti vzduch a trochu klidu, protoze to neustaly troubeni
na ulicich mi uz slo dost na nervy). Zkousel jsem taxi, ale to by bylo
drahy, tak jsem jel asi hodinu a pul riksou :) Riksa byl dost divnej a
hodnekrat zastavoval protoze mel rozbitou karu a musel ji opravovat,
ale byl to celkem fajn zazitek, protoze vzal i nejaky deti se kterejma
byla legrace (samozrejme mely nechutnou vyrazku tak jsem si radeji
odsednul) a ja jsem poprve od priletu do Indie konecne dychal cisty
vzduch. Take odpadku u silnice trochu ubylo, tak jsem z toho mel dost
pozitivni naladu a rikal si ta Indie asi nebude tak spatna a jen jsem
mel rychleji vypadnout z mesta.
Dorazil jsem do Mammalapuram, maj tam uzasny stavby ze 6. stoleti, takovy maly Ankor Vat:
http://images.google.com
I
kdyz Mammalapuram bylo velmi zajimavy misto, dostal jsem ten silenej
prujem, krece do bricha a horecku. Pravdepodobne kvuli jedne z
restauraci na plazi kde jsem si dal podezrely jidlo (moje oblibene
nudle s kurecim, ale to kure chutnalo hoodne divne) a orange shake.
Take jsem kazdou noc marne bojoval s komary (meli odpuzovace ale komari
jsou viditelne zvykly a desne hladovy :) Pokoj jsem vybral jeden z tech
drazsich (650 Rs. - 300 Kc). Meli docela pekny velky svaby, jeden se mi
hned chtel nastehovat do batohu :) Po dvou dnech prujmu a horecek jsem
myslel, ze tam chcipnu. Asi jsem i udelal chybu, ze jsem malo pil
(vyprazdnoval jsem se totiz velmi casto), tak jsem byl na hranici
fyzickeho i psychickeho zhrouceni. Samozrejme mistni na mym stavu jeste
rejzovali, a tak mi prodavali vodu za 50 Rs. Bohuzel za celou dobu v
Indii jsem nepotkal nikoho, kdo by nechtel ze me sedrit posledni rupii.
Uz jsem na to byl pripravenej z Thajska, ale tam to meli aspon trochu
lepe vymysleny, tady ty jejich lzi a vymysly byly dost trapny a vubec
byli hrozne agresivni.
V jeden slaby moment, kdy jsem dostal obzvlast silne krece do
strev jsem po navsteve toalety vyrazil do internetovy kavarny
zabookovat letenku. Letenka s Lufthansou do Prahy stala pres
18 litru, ale v tu chvili bych dal cokoliv jen abych se dostal do
civilizace a vzhledem k nekterym priznakum malarie jsem uz byl v
pokrocilym stadiu paniky :). (mimochodem pocitac byl totalne
zavirovanej, tak doufam, ze ted nemaji moje cislo kreditky :) Letel
jsem za 6 hodin po tom co jsem se rozhodl, chtel jsem zmizet co
nejrychleji to slo. Vcera jsem prospal vetsinu dne, navstivil Tesco a
koupil velke baleni piskot (prodavaj to po pul kile :) V letadle a
nekolik dni pred tim jsem nejed, tak se mi dneska ulevilo, ze jsem do
sebe neco nasoukal a udrzel v sobe nejakou tu vodu diky praskum proti
prujmu :)
Takze takhle jsem se mel v Indii, diky pokud jste docetli az
sem, potreboval jsem se z toho trochu vypsat. Dlouho jsem o tom
premyslel, ale uz se tam nechci vratit, sorry XXX/YYY/ZZZ, ale tech
par dnu na konci byly jedny z nejhorsich dnu myho zivota. Taky mam
pouceni pro priste, ze neni dobry se vydavat do exotickych zemi sam,
kvuli nemoci jsem to nes dost spatne psychicky. Cetl jsem si dneska na
netu a v LP o zapadnim pobrezi a pry je to lepsi nez vychod, takze se
tam budete mit asi lip, ale ja uz zpatky proste nechci. Asi jsem
navstivil spatnou cast Indie. Jeste pred odletem v Indii jsem
zjistoval, co za nemoci muze cloveka v Indii potkat, tak jsem si
uvedomil, ze mam zdravi jen jedno a nemel bych takhle experimentovat.
Vim, ze vetsina lidi se asi vrati v pohode, ale potom co jsem videl
nemam pochyby ze je jednoduchy tam chytit neco zakernyho, nemoci tam
jsou soucasti kazdodenniho zivota a je obzvlast nechutny jak tam misty
nakladaji s odpadky a fekaliemi (neresi to). Takze omlouvam se, ze to
takhle na posledni chvili odrikam, ve vic lidech by to byla vetsi
prdel, ale ja na to nemam se tam vratit. Nejsem nejak narocnej na
hygienu, ale Indie tohle slovo vubec nezna.
Here's one picture from NetBeans day in Cairo... this is your unique opportunity to publicly make fun of me - you can put into the bubble anything you want me to say. On this picture I am not looking into the camera, I am looking at my Sun colleague instead. Imagine I am about to tell something to my Sun colleague to comment this situation. I expect lots of creative and funny submittions - leave them as comments. The author of the best submittion will get a NetBeans 6.0 T-shirt (leave your name in the form, multiple submittions are allowed, please no content which could be offensive to those on the picture - remember cultural differences - and I will ask Geertjan to pick the best one in order to be objective)! Have fun!

I spend way too much time in airplanes and at airports these days. It's one of those things noone tells you when you are getting a job of an evangelist, but I found some ways how to deal with it. One life saver are noise-canceling headphones. They're great not only during the flight itself but also when waiting at the airport. When you put them on suddenly all the rush and noise is just far in the distance.
The other life saver I discovered quite recently is DosBox. Normally I try to work on the plane but some flights get tiring, so you can only work for some limited time. There's one activity I can do for many hours though - playing computer games. So I installed DosBox and downloaded some old games from Abandonia and The Underdogs, got an extra laptop battery and flying became fun again. It's amazing that most of these games work perfectly in fullscreen with audio and you can slow down your machine to reach the same experience as in the old 486 days :)

Wizardry 7 can certainly entertain for many, many weeks.
I got this picture from a friend. Click on the picture to see the large detail. It's absolutely worth studying, you'll find amazing metaphores there. My favorites are: Mordorsoft with pipes spilling evil technologies, the towers of WS-Babel with SOA on top, Ruins of Corba and Semantic web superhighway (under construction). You can print the large image, it's quite well readable on paper and it's a nice picture you can share with your colleagues in your office. Kudos to the creator of the image!
[4:20 am] The alarm rings. Have to wake up, really quickly and get to the airport to catch my flight.
[6:00 am] Checking in. They can't give me the second ticket to Bangalore - I fly through CDG airport in Paris. Grr that means hassling at transfer desk in Paris. I thought these airlines partnered.
[6:50 am] Boarding should start. Sorry, flight is delayed. You should see the faces of all the people who woke up early and will probably miss their connections...
[8:30 am] Finally boarding. We'll be 90 minutes late. Oh well.
[9:55 am] Landing in Paris. Weather condition: heavy fog, 5 degrees C (about 40 F). Almost reaching the runway, but suddenly the engines go to full speed and we fly straight up with big noise. We didn't make it for the first time. My adrenalin level goes high - this was really close.
[10:15 am] Circling around CDG with other 10 airplanes. Second attempt to land. We don't see anything, fog is everywhere. Suddenly a big bang... and after several seconds another big bang. You guessed it, the airplaned jumped on the runway while landing :)
[10:40 am] Too many people at transfer desk. Many already missed their flights, more will miss them soon because they need to wait in a long queue. I am glad that I have a frequent flyer - and get the boarding pass.
[11:25 am] Cought the airplane right before last call. However, there's no rush. We are waiting for passengers to come. Too many flights were delayed.
[12:20 am] Still waiting for passengers to show up :)
[12:40 am] Leaving CDG with half-empty plane.
... switching to Indian time
[0:40 am] Landing at Bangalore international airport. First attempt successful :)
[0:50 am] Waiting for gate to be ready.
[1:30 am] Still waiting for the f*** gate to be ready. What's going on? We're probably blocking other airplanes because we're waiting in the middle of the route...
[1:45 am] Arriving to Bangalore. Local guys are very nice - they printed a huge list of names of people that won't get their baggage :) I am very lucky, I am not on the list. Getting my baggage.
[2:10 am] Going through customs. They smile at me. Trying to get money from the ATM. It doesn't work and shows a very confusing error message. Wondering if my credit card will work here. I have no money :(
[2:20 am] Getting a taxi to get to an ATM and to the hotel. Finding an ATM. Getting rupies. Can't open the door - I got locked in the ATM!!! Taxi driver helps me force open the door.
[2:40 am] Arriving to the hotel. I can't understand these guys even though they seem to speak English. I got my room.
[3:30 am] Can't fall asleep - still can see the pictures in my head from the airplane almost landing but not really and then fighting with gravity to get back to air. Writing this blog entry...
So, do you want to become an evangelist, too? :)
This funny text comes from Ibon from the dream team who got it from a Spanish blog.
There's a beautiful princess, prisoner in the highest tower of a
castle, guarded by a mighty dragon, and a fearless knight must rescue
her…
This is how each language would manage to rescue the princess from the hands of the dragon
If you ever got frustrated by software, you'll probably enjoy this talk (click on the image to play the video):
What a song...
It is well known that during presentations body language and voice can be more important than delivered information. Some presenters focus just on the information and deliver their presentations with a monotone voice and while standing completely still. These presentations are *not* enjoyable. They su*k!
I think this video illustrates the importance of the non-verbal part of the presentation. So without further ado, here's Doug Zongker's presentation called "Chicken chicken chicken". I hope you will have as much fun as I did :)
