All the world's a stagecoach
And all the men and women merely passengers;
They have their emergency exit and their 10 aisle seats,
And one man in his time heaves many sighs,
His acts being seven ages. At first the check-in,
Mewling and puking in the delay's arms:
And then the whining at security, with his satchel
And shining flight face, creeping like snail
Unwittingly to a longer wait. And then the Waiter,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his flight's departure. Then a Boarder,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in the wait, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble take-off
Even in Santa Cruz airport. And then the injustice,
In fair round plane-belly with seat belt lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of unwise oaths and past instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and always busy runway,
With air-hostess and pilot announcements,
His youthful hopes, well sav'd, a plane too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.

With apologies to the Bard

What prompts this unabashed (and not very accomplished) plagiarism, you ask? The flying time from Bombay to Bangalore is 1 Hour 15 Minutes. Stir vigourously with a liberal delay in Bombay. Garnish with aimless circling over Bangalore, and a passenger ends up with a two and a half hour recipe for fretting. Sprinkle commutes in both cities into the mix, and total time spent on the travel will be more than four hours. Repeat for well nigh two years now, and small wonder very few of us have appetites left for flying.

Tags : flying; india; bangalore;