Monday November 26, 2007 
Monday November 26, 2007 Five years ago this weekend, I went to bed on the Sunday night of the long holiday weekend and dreamt a dream that changed my life.
At the time, I was stuck in a job I despised. My employee communications company had been acquired by a large agency and I was locked in handcuffs of my own making. With the acquisition a failure on just about every count, my days were filled with cost cutting, painful reductions in force, and political battles over everything from which accounts we could pursue to what services we should offer. Decade-long friendships were destroyed. Personal relationships with people I deeply cared about were dealt near-fatal blows. No surprise that deep depression had become a daily struggle for me. Yet I didn't want to leave, because I felt I would be abandoning my team - and because I didn't want to leave a failure.
So I went to work, every day more miserable than the last. And believe me, I'm no poker player. When I'm up, I can't hide it. When I'm down, there's no disguising it. I struggled to lead from a position of strength, but depression was hurting my performance.
There was one bright spot for me. Thanks to the generous recommendations and support of Marian Davis, a VP of human resources with whom I had worked before at Sun, we were back consulting there, helping out with employee communications as Sun was going through its own battles for survival. I had been asked to come in as the acting director of that communication team, as Sun searched for the right person to take the job. Every time I walked into Sun, my heart soared. Every time I met with my fledging team, I felt good. Despite (or perhaps because of) the intensity of the challenge at Sun, I loved the company, I loved the work, and I loved the people.
Yes, Sun had asked me if I would be interested in the job on a full-time basis, but I was still struggling with my other obligations and I just wasn't ready to pull the plug. Until that holiday weekend, five short years ago. That Sunday night, I went to bed filled with dread at going back to work the next day. I crawled into bed, put the pillow over my head and fell into a deep sleep.
I dreamt that I was sitting in my office at the agency, and that one of the partners was across from me, talking to me about more reductions that needed to be made. As I leaned back in my chair listening to her, I realized that my office walls were moldy, and the paint was peeling. I looked up at the ceiling, and saw brown stained tiles, falling to the floor. When I looked at the floor, I saw it was covered with garbage, and slime, and filth. I put my hands on desk and quckly pulled them away, repelled by the spongy wetness of the rotting wood. Suddenly I knew what I was going to do. I rose from my chair, briskly walked from my office, and ran into the one partner who had been both a friend and confidant to me during my four years with that firm. "I need to talk to you, right now," I said. "I've been offered this job at Sun and I think I need to take it." "Of course you do, Terry," he replied. "It will be good for you, and good for Sun. It's time for you to be happy again."
I awoke with a start. I sat up in bed, shook my husband awake and told him, "I've decided to quit my job and go to work for Sun." He mumbled something to the effect of, "What took you so long...?" before falling back to sleep. I, on the other hand, got up and went downstairs to enjoy the sense of peace that comes with a good decision made after much turmoil.
That was five years ago. The dream is as vivid to me today as the day I dreamed it. And its message as true - we each deserve happiness. We each deserve to be appreciated for what we do well. We each deserve to work for a company in which we believe and with a group of people with whom we are proud to be associated. And because my subconscious chose a dream to give me the kick in the pants I needed to make a change, I have all those opportunities and more. I wish no less for you and yours.
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 26 2007, 10:00:00 AM PST ) Permalink Comments [6]
Friday November 23, 2007 Twas the day after Thanksgiving
A bit of Thanksgiving doggeral to help you digest your food...
Twas the day after turkey
And all through my house
Our children were sleeping
with friends and a spouse.
(oops, that didn't sound right. I meant we have a houseful of grown children back with their friends and our son-in-law but that wouldn't rhyme. No sin here!)
The mess of the feast had been all cleared away,
with hopes of leftovers dominating the day.
And I in my sneakers and you in your hat
had just settled down for a long, juicy chat.
When what to our horrified ears should ring out
But the clatter of dishes falling out and about
To the kitchen, I shouted
To the kitchen we ran
And found a sight that brought tears to a man!
Tis the dog, I cried sadly
And the cats, guilty too
of eating their way through the turkey
Boo hoo
As we cleaned up the glassware
And straightened the mess
I turned to my mother and said, I confess
I'm tired of turkey, of gravy, of pie
Of eating my way through the carbs til I die
And so arm in arm,
We left for the sea
Where we drank margaritas
And breathed in the bree(ze)
Thanksgiving in LA
Can be quite some fun
When surrounded by family and friends and the sun.
So we jumped in my mini and thankful for all, cried
Happy thanksgiving to everyone! Now go have a ball!
Hey, I said it was doggeral. I didn't say it was GOOD doggeral! And no, the dog and cats behaved themselves, albeit reluctantly so no leftovers were hurt for this entry... But the margaritas? Oh yeah, that's the next stop for the day!
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 23 2007, 11:33:38 AM PST ) Permalink Comments [0]
Monday November 19, 2007 It's the usual packed commuter flight from SFO to Burbank airport, and speaking of Thanksgiving, we're crammed in there like stuffing in a scrawny turkey. But I've lucked out, and am sitting next to a young man who is sleepy and therefore willing to let me read his newspaper during the short flight.
So in the course of exchanging pleasantries, I learn that he works for Yahoo (an art director) and he learns I work for... Sun.
"Sun...", he says to me. "What do you guys do? Never heard of you."
It was enough to make a grown woman cry. He works for Yahoo and has never heard of us?? Talk about being slapped in the face with our branding issue. I quickly explained who we are, what we stand for and what we do, but from the blank look on his face, it's clear I failed my "compelling elevator speech" test.
OK, fine. I wasn't done yet. I asked my poor, trapped seatmate (he had the middle seat and I was on the aisle, making sure he couldn't make a break for it) if he had ever heard of Java. His face lit up. "Oh sure, we use Java all the time." Whew. Score one for Sun. Encouraged, I asked him if he knew about Solaris. Blank look. So I pulled out my ace card - what about Jonathan Schwartz? "That name is really familiar," he said. I gently prompted him: "Blogging?" I was rewarded by a blaze of recognition. I pulled out the business section from his paper and pointed out the coverage on our recent deal with Dell.
Mission accomplished. But if we have to build brand awareness person by person, it's a going to be a very long effort. How do we reach the next generation of developers and users and customers? We think we have our mojo back - now we need the world to agree.
We've come a long way, baby, as the old Virginia Slim ads used to say. But we're not done yet. I'm thinking the time for cool Sun t-shirts might be back - ones that declare our return to the marketplace in terms that get conversations started with ordinary people. Consider: "Rock on, baby!" or "Niagara - it's not just for honeymooners anymore." Or, "Cool Threads? We'll give you Cool Threads!"
OK, OK. It's clear to all why I'm in internal communication and not marketing. So find your own words and go get our story out! And with that, I wish our U.S. friends and colleagues a wonderful Thanksgiving, and much to be thankful for...
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 19 2007, 09:04:06 AM PST ) Permalink Comments [1]
Monday November 12, 2007 There are many people, I'm told, who are born with the ability to create tons of seratonin - the feel good natural chemical that gets you through the day without coming unglued during moments of stress.
I'm told this, but have never experienced it myself. I seemed to have born "seratonin-light," resulting in more than my fair share of anxiety and nail-biting and, yes, just possibly a tendency to overreact from time to time. Imagine that...
At some point in my life - somewhere in the midst of dealing with adolescent offspring and menopause simultaneously (Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor!!), I discovered Prozac. Now don't think badly of me for living better chemically. And I do have to tell you - Prozac made a huge difference in my ability to handle anxiety. No, it didn't give me Botox emotions but it helped even me out.
So why on earth am I treating this blog like a guest spot on Oprah? Because this weekend I discovered yoga. And while it may be physically the hardest thing I've ever done (go ahead and stand on one foot while lifting the other leg behind you and raising your arms high - see how well you do!), I was amazed at the aftermath - a flood of peacefulness and glow of well being.
Mind you, I'm as low on the mystical scale as I am on natural seratonin, so I went into the yoga class very skeptical. Yeah, yeah, stress reduction. Yeah, sure, a feeling of peace. Frankly, after I took that bad spill while walking my dog six weeks ago, cracking my sternum, breaking three ribs and blowing out my knee ligaments, I was just hoping for exercises that would improve my sense of balance. So the rest of it came as a surprise and a huge bonus.
So when you see me peacefully floating down the hall, sending off waves of joy... Oh wait. Nix that. I think there's small danger of that happening! But perhaps I won't be literally tripping down the hall (ask Al Riske and Greg Bardsley about what we call, "the birthday cake incident" for insight on this) and I will find it easier to deal with life's ups and downs. Now everyone breathe deeply and stretch up from your hips.... Ahhhhhh.
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 12 2007, 11:02:12 AM PST ) Permalink Comments [5]
Thursday November 08, 2007 Ahhh. A clean page in front of me. That's a bit how I'm feeling right now - still caught up in the afterglow of time off but really enjoying being back at work.
Part of it is just beaming with pride over how much got down - and how beautifully it was done - during my absence. My team? They rock! It's just that simple. They got through earnings, crisis communication on wildfires, a major presentation at a professional conference, a high visibility communication opportunity with Jonathan, planning of offsites and leadership meetings, and sensitive internal issues not for discussion here, all on top of the usual day-to-day stuff. Which is nothing to sneeze at... Good thing I come with a, well, shall we say healthy ego, or I might be looking over my shoulder, wondering if I was still needed!
Thanksgiving is two weeks away, so you'll pardon me for getting a jump on what I'm grateful for today - and that is this team of professionals who work so hard on behalf of Sun. And do it with grace and a great sense of humor. Many, many thanks to each and everyone of you on my extended staff. You do us proud!
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 08 2007, 12:24:54 PM PST ) Permalink Comments [0]
Monday November 05, 2007 Before getting pulled back completely into work, a few reflections on the splendidness of vacations.
We flew home last night from Italy, after two wonderful weeks wandering the the Tuscan hillsides, hiking the Italian coastline through Cinque Terra, visiting (and enjoying) numerous wineries, and taking Italian cooking lessons. We return to Los Angeles renewed, relaxed and (at least for me) more than a few pounds heftier than when we left - and well worth every gram of fat.
What did we do? We followed Gina Losco-Valotta's advice (my Italian-born colleague) and we simply "let Italy happen." So when we got to rainy Florence and found the the museum workers on strike - no Uffizi Gallery for us - we found a little cafe on the square and drank espressos, under the protection of a table umbrella, as we figured out what to do instead. It was lovely. And speaking of rain, our first week was "Under the Tuscan Glum," not sun. It didn't stop us for a minute, as we explored medieval towns and the charms the countryside has to offer. And at night we retreated to our charming 11th century farmhouse for cooking lessons from "the grandmothers of Tuscany" - Tutti a Talova. Highly, highly recommended....
In La Spezia, we rented a villa with friends and we spent a much sunnier week walking down an extremely steep hill to catch the Number 3 bus into town, or to the train station to head to the Cinque Terra. Back in our villa every night - after walking back up that very steep hill - we and our friends tried out what we learned the previous week in our cooking classes. (Not too modestly, I will now state that I have the killer recipe for what is possibly the most fabulous lasagna ever.)
Oh, and did I mention the wine? We visited about a dozen wineries while in Tuscany, and bought over 40 fantastic bottles of wine. (Note to self: always travel with oenophile - you can't go too far wrong.) Which we drank - with our meals. Now before you think me too big a lush, I hasten to point out that there were six of us, but even so...
I learned two important Italian phrases. "It's easy!" "No problem." These seemed to be applied to all circumstances, from trying to find our villa, which was not only hidden high in the hills above La Speza but came complete with incorrect driving directions - to figuring out how to make the world's best tiramisu. While the task was rarely easy and it was always somewhat problematic, the cheerfulness with which the advice was given made us smile, and somehow we did always figure things out in the end.
We finished out the holiday at Lake Maggiore, near Milan. We had a memorable meal - fantastic, really. At least until we got the bill and found that the four of us had eaten 10 grams of white truffles - at 24 euros a gram. Let me do the math for you - that's $360 worth of fungus! I know, I know. Next time ask that charming waiter, who is happily shaving truffles over the homemade tagliari, what the damages will be.
Or, do what we did. Laugh and let Italy happen to you. You'll be glad you did.
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Nov 05 2007, 08:00:00 AM PST ) Permalink Comments [5]
