Monday July 20, 2009 
Monday July 20, 2009 Terry Through the Looking Glass
I lived a dual life the past two weeks. Part-time Sun employee, as I have been since February 1, and part-time communication consultant.
I feel so darned good about it, because I actually did something instead of just talked about it. And I feel as though I’m breaking out of the uncertainty that acquisitions bring to the life of the soon-to-be-acquired and took back control of my life. For someone blessed (or cursed, depending on your perspective) with the eye of the tiger and a strong streak of determination, this first step from what was to what will be felt like coming home to a very good place.
Which is why I posted this photograph on my profile picture in Facebook:
This rather lovely sculpture can be found right outside the grounds of Guildford Castle in Surrey. Lewis Carroll spent many years in Guildford, and local folklore has him writing Alice Through the Looking Glass while in residence at the house that stands behind the sculpture garden.
This sculpture captures where many of us are today, I think. Part of us in one world, part of us in the next, frozen at a moment in time. Not knowing if we’ll have a job with the new administration, or if we’d want one.
In retrospect, my going part-time last winter, with the agreement that I could pursue other consulting jobs during my non-Sun time, was such a blessing. It gave me time to spend with my daughter and new grandson. It gave me time to spend with my Mom, who is not doing so well. It gave me time to campaign for gay marriage and help support my son. And it gave me time to think about what I want do next in life.
In the past two years, I’ve turned down four jobs at four different companies. The jobs were amazing, the companies top notch, and each time I thought that this was it, this was the magic position for me. And each time, I got cold feet. Now a brighter person might have figured out by offer #2 that there was just something unappealing about devoting her life to another company full-time. But I was a little slow on the uptake. But with almost six months of relief from constant stress and long work schedules, I was able to get some clarity around what I do want. And it is not taking another corporate job.
I was in love with the old Sun. This company was the only place I wanted to work. My work was appreciated, I was valued, my team was fabulous, my boss was fun, and the challenges were varied and exciting (if sometimes a little overwhelming). I believed in our company passionately, and felt as though I was part of something important. I had the opportunity to work closely with our co-founder, Scott McNealy. It was a dream gig.
I don’t believe I will find all those pieces again in one place. And I don’t think I want to try. So I’m going back to my roots – consulting. I hope I can keep my current job with Sun, and I would find it fascinating if Oracle would take me on the same terms. But if not? Well, I’m ready to step all the way through that looking glass and explore the world on the other side.
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Jul 20 2009, 02:32:14 PM PDT ) Permalink Comments [0]
