Monday October 20, 2008 
Monday October 20, 2008 A Tale of Two Photos, Two Children and Two Sides
I'm holding two photographs in my hand. One is my son Andrew's senior picture from high school some seven years ago. He's trying to smile for the camera but looks hesitant and uncomfortable. The other is of Andrew at his senior prom, joy beaming from his face. Dressed in a tux, grinning ear-to-ear, he poses with his date, Dustin. How strong do you have to be to take a same sex date to your senior prom in high school? Very. It took courage and conviction. It wasn't a prank. It was a date.
I work for a company that deeply values diversity. And I'm betting you do, too. In good times, in bad times, having the best talent and having different perspectives make a difference in the marketplace. So we treat people fairly, regardless of skin color, religion, age, ethnic background, sexual orientation. Because it's good business and the right thing to do. It makes me proud to work for Sun.
How ironic, then, that we are headquartered in California, where a proposition is posed to pass that changes the State constitution and eliminates the rights of people who make up between 7 to 10 percent of the population. I'm speaking of Proposition 8, which bans gay marriage. The last time we had something so ugly on the books was with the miscegenation laws banning marriage and intimate relations between people of different color. Those didn't go away until the 1960's, to our shame. (Oh, and we weren't alone – Nazi Germany and South Africa had those laws, too, for a period of time.)
What's equally disturbing to me are the people I see out campaigning for this – college kids, church ladies, their earnestness shining on their faces. I look at them and wonder, “What did a gay person ever do to you?”
Last weekend, I returned home from the grocery store, shaking in anger. Some of those nice Proposition 8 supporters had been marching outside my store, waving their signs of support for a proposition that would steal my son's future. As I slammed grocery bags on the counter, I vented my feelings about Proposition 8. My husband listened quietly and said, “You know, Terry? This has nothing to do with hate. You need to understand that this is a huge cultural change – accepting something that hasn't been accepted for generations." A good, rational point, but it didn't really calm me down – that took an hour of running on the treadmill.
Look, my son has brown eyes. My daughter has blue eyes. My son is gay. My daughter is straight. They no more chose their sexual orientation than they chose their eye color – it's just how they were born. As my niece was born. As Dick Cheney's daughter was born. As some of my neighbors – and yours – were born. As some of my colleagues – and yours – were born. As some of my friends – and yours – were born. As 7 to 10 percent of us were born.
We have huge problems in this country that we need to fight together. The dreadful economy. Global warming. Job creation. Education. At a time when being united and having the full population working to solve problems, do we really need to be tearing ourselves apart? Can't we all put our energies behind something constructive that will help push forward, not push us back?
I'm voting a resounding NO on Proposition 8. Before you vote, please think about your friends, your colleagues, your neighbors, your family – the hidden 7 to 10 percent of us who were born with a different sexual orientation. Please don't vote to take away their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Posted by terrymckenzie ( Oct 20 2008, 08:00:00 AM PDT ) Permalink Comments [10]
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I SO AGREE!! I had the honor and privilege of witnessing the marriage last weekend of one of my closest friends and his husband and will definitely be checking the "NO" box on Election Day for this legalized form of discrimination that this Proposition basically is...
I unfortunately live in a city in California where I see way too many "Yes on *8" yard signs and I too tense up in anger everytime I see them. Yes, the folks who support with their yard signs have their right to free speech, yet they want to take away a basic right from my friends. It doesn't make any sense to me at all.
I will be hoping that Prop 8 fails, I'd hate for my friend's marriage to be overturned yet again...
Posted by Vicki Tan on October 20, 2008 at 12:53 PM PDT #
Terry,
Just last week I used the same example - miscegenation - when discussing this prop. with a friend. Had his law remained, my husband and I would not be married and we wouldn't have our wonderful son. It's so still shocking when I hear people are opposed to this and, I hope, some day really soon people will look back and realize just how wrong it was to deny someone the basic right to love.
Posted by Myrna Rivera on October 20, 2008 at 03:09 PM PDT #
Thank you for posting that. I don't know how the vote on Prop 8 is going to turn out, but I know that your son must be proud of you for being outspoken.
Posted by Adam Cohn on October 20, 2008 at 04:03 PM PDT #
Very well said. My husband and I are both voting NO on Proposition 8.
Posted by Janine Morison on October 20, 2008 at 07:18 PM PDT #
mom,
i cannot even
begin to say how
awesome you are
all week i have been
telling my friends
how i have the
coolest mom how she
causes grief for the
jerks running tables for
yes on 8 how she
understands the struggle
better even than many of my
closest straight friends
how she gives me
real hope for the future
i know i've told you
this before but it
bears repeating
i'm truly grateful to
have someone so
supportive so
strong in my corner
i love you mom
Posted by ndrw on October 21, 2008 at 02:28 AM PDT #
Right on! NO NO NO on 8.
Posted by Rachel on October 21, 2008 at 04:52 PM PDT #
Terry, You rock. How many of us DON'T know someone of a different sexual orientation...for me, I am blessed with awesome friends and family...a sister in law and her partner, an aunt who passed away of ALS who found herself after many years, wonderful colleagues and friends...I know that for me, they all that deserve happiness and equality.
Posted by Laura DeBacker on October 21, 2008 at 09:06 PM PDT #
Terry,
thank you for this. we need more people willing to take a stance against this kind of misguided thinking. hopefully, this election cycle reflects the true beliefs of the majority of americans.
david howard
Posted by David Howard on October 23, 2008 at 11:16 AM PDT #
On Saturday, I'll be witnessing the wedding of my friends Jeff and Carl. Then on Tuesday I'll be holding my breath to see whether their marriage endures this election.
C'mon California! Be happy for the happiness of others -- isn't that like a Golden Rule or something?
Posted by Derek on October 30, 2008 at 02:56 PM PDT #
Glad to find another Sun colleague blogging against Prop 8. And someone else who gets as enraged as I do at the injustice.
Posted by Susan from SC on November 01, 2008 at 09:54 AM PDT #